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test!!!

wow!

you know what..
if i have a fucking ash tray next to me..why would i ash my cigg on the floor!?!?!?!....my mom walked in the room and yelled at me bc she "SAW" me ash on the floor..blah..no i didnt im not a fucking RETARD!!!!

..n e ways..on a HAPPY-ER note..i went to weight watchers tonight and i lost another 4 lbs!!!!..thats a total of 18 this summer..so i think i will loose at least 20 lbs b4 i go back to school..but untill school starts ima pump it up..and work extra hard!..

..me and my boyfriend are in weight watchers together..but hes not helping me much..hes not the support that i thought i was going to have..we were just friends when we started this together..and he was better about helping me and i seem to be better helping him now..i dont even know if im making sence its kinda pissing me off..i just want him to walk with me or somthing simple like that and it turns into a fight..im getting kinda sick of it..

..i took my vacation hours next week so im not working at all..carlos(BF) said somthing about how we should go to the beach..Ocean City..but im thinking about the money thing..i basicly support myself and i dont think i would have enough extra to do that with..but that would be kinda cool..going away together for the weekend...we just became a couple so that would be cute..see..weve been friends for about 5 months..i met him at his brothers birthday party...and i was interested in him from the beginning but he was just as friends...my best friend (bianca) is basicly his sister-in-law..and everytime i had an issue with one of my ex's she would always say.."you have to meet carlos..you guyz would be so perfict for each other"..well i guess we'll see if she was right huh?...lol...i think she is..

hmm..i washed my car today..i felt very accomplished..me and my mom washed our cars together..god i havent spent time with my mom in forever..and that not a bad thing..lol..but it was fun..we only had about 2 fights..

well i have to be at work at the butt crack of dawn so ima go wash my work clothes...and get to sleep..:)

-Mandee

hmm..
you know i hate the word fratanize..like how u cant hang out with ppl from work..that is so dumb..i just found out that bc i hang out with ppl from work so much that i will probly not be able to become a shift manager in january (even though it has been planed for like 1 year that i would!!!!!!)..whatever..oh i work at starbucks..im a barista..i love my job but theres to much damn drama..only bc most of the ppl working there are fucking drug addicts (no pee test is required..so they love it)..i just got home from work..so im still thinking about what my manager said to me..it sucks i really want to be a shift..but i dont wanna loose my friends..so i have some thinking to do i guess....

...i just started dating my really good friend..we became an iten 2 days ago..and im really happy about it..his name is carlos...i never became friends with someone b4 being with then..so i think that made us stronger (?) who knows i guess we will see...its funny bc i already love him..and he says he loves me..but i hate that word..very much..but i feel okay telling him..i dont think he'ss slam it in my face like my ex's..but once again we'll see...

..im in weight watchers..i have lost 14 lbs. this summer..and im starting to get out of it..i want to use this journal to keep up my weightloss..i know that seems weird but i will do it..I HAVE TO..im morbidly obease...and im only fucking 17...sorry but i cant handle it n e more..im suck of accepting myself..i cant n e more..i will do it..AHH..it makes me mad just thinking about it...bc i could had done so much more this summer but i didnt..well i guess that its good i did something..even though it was a little..i lossed weight insted of gaining it..but i dont look on the bright side of things so much..

...when Wooho was free i had a NICE journal..i usta be on all the time..but then it cancled my thing..bc i didnt send the $1.00 i regret it now..but im glad to be back..i really am..

:)Mandee

lalala
this is my first entry..i just want to make sure that everything looks the way i want it to..:)