im so sick of being lonely..

a scent attatched
to the whispering wind
hits me like brick
i feel it land on the tip of my nose
and trail into my memory
a quick glimpse of what used to be
now circulates in my veins
its a part of me
now as it trickles into my lungs
it is encapsulated by tar
by hate, by envy, and by grudge
the connections are now made fully
and i see what keeps these things memories
and not the present
its the pain of how it was
its the thought of giving up
my stubborn thoughts spew out this scent
rid myself of what resounded in my mind
although i may push it out of my thoughts
i cant deny the scent
attatched to the whispering wind..

---

i look in the mirror
and i dont even see myself
just a blurry image
left dusty on the shelf
abandoned beauty
torn to peices all alone
she lives in a pristine picture
a painting hanging on a wall
of a broken home

shes crying another glass
half empty again
pouring herself
another shot of gin
she wont stop hurting
until she smells his scent
you wont catch her smiling
until she aint by herself

(chorus)
all alone in a world
that teaches us not to feel
we alienate whose different
and blame the one whose real
we idolize the incomplete
we love the one thats fake
yet we walk right by the ones like you
the ones who suffer through their days..

she wants to kill
the one who put her here
she screams her unmuttable screams
for everyone to hear
she points the bloody gun
towards her picture perfect face
plunging silently
to her imperfect fate

a soul wont go to heaven today
it wont be free from pain
shell wait around, watching those she loves
be showered with salty rain
forever with the burden
of the guilt on her shoulders
to take a life, couldnt deal with strife
couldnt move lifes giant bolders

(chorus)

her acid tears trickle down my cheek
eroding the beauty that people see
they want to be what they cant have
they want to be something just like me
but irony strikes again
as im bleeding for you now
what people want to be in me
slowly starts to drown

envied lover dying in your hands
couldnt be what you wanted
couldnt be the perfect ten
couldnt smile like the sunrise
couldnt be your heaven sent
withered leaves in the month of may
pain that never goes away
it eats away your pale white skin
and burries itself deep within

(chorus)

almost made it,
i almost climed up in your heart
but almost doesnt mean a thing
almost doesnt even start
i see an silent movie
a vision of your face
along your guided cheekbones
with my fingers i trace

i want so bad to be with you
i want so bad not to cry
but i wont ever get better
unless i rewind goodbye
i look in the mirror
and i dont even see myself
just a blurry image
you left dusty on the shelf


When I came along
You see it's good for nothing, good for nothing
A close look at something
so close
you never stop needing
you never stop needing..
It's too much of not enough
When all we need is just a taste
I strapped myself in for a safe second ride
Before it started I tried to be anything I saw fit
And it all seemed to fit but you came undone
When I came along
Blind white lies and shallow truth
Broken strings and stolen youth
I've seen too much of not enough but
You came much closer than they had before
You never stop needing
And it's good for nothing

...SoMeWhErE...