<marquee>i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR</marquee>

i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR

:: 2005 22 June :: 9.19am

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

...SoMeWhErE...

Cocopuff

:: 2005 21 June :: 11.20am

:-(
I love him so much!!!
I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!I LOVE him!!

i LOVE him with every bit of my heart!! i have never loved neone as much as i love him! i jsut love.. to b around him.. to be able to see his sweet face.. to be able to talk to him like i cant talk to other ppl.. to listen to him laff.. to have him make me laff.. to curl up together on his bed and never want to let go.. to joke around with.. to play video games with.. to play fight with.. to watch him skateboard and know hes haveing a good time.. to make love to.. to watch every movie there is with.. to wake up and know i get to see him today.. to wake up and know hes still right next to me.. to talk to him on the fone till i pass out, or he does.. the feeling of compleatness when hes wiht me.. the thought that there is no one above me.. the way he smells.. the way he looks into my eyes.. the way he kisses me.. the way he holds me.. the way he loves me.. the way he calls me BABY.. the way i can tell what hes thinkign by the look on his face.. the closeness he has for his family.. how every second i spend wiht him makes me love him more.. how when im mad or hes mad at eachother we can only stay mad for 2 mins tops.. how hes not jsut my boyfriend how hes my BESTfreind too.. how happy is an understatement for how i feel when were together.. how we prove opposites attract.. how i can spend evey min. of everyday with him and not get sick of him.. how without him i wouldnt be me.. simply.. I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM!!!!.. and everything about me wiht him..

i love Cj soo much...

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 19 June :: 12.39pm

some of my poetry

when you spend time day dreaming
theres nothing you can truly say
to keep you away from the subject in your mind
its there all the time
but you know that theres this place
its made for those who say
theyre insane and they cant take it
so they mold your life and make it
what you want it to be
what youd like to seee
when you look into the mirror at your face
but they cant replace
the things in your life they say
they must stay.. they must stay

--

beauty in the wind and sun in the sky
leaves my eyes open and questioning why
all thats around me is falling appart
why my once red heart is now grey and dark
they cant give me an anser
they tell me lifes just a game
intense salutations and too many names
they play tricks with your mind
and theyll trick you with time
tick tock tick tock
too many hands on the clock
spinning you a round until you see
that your worlds all its cracked up to be
theres pain and horror
and curious delight
and the person in the mirror
is a delirious sight
insanity is not enveloped in a room
with white padded walls for you
or in the pills that they stick down your throat
its in the things ppl dont want you to know
on their secrets in their pain
in their one sided brains
its too much its all that they know
and theres nowhere to go..
nowhere to turn
its your turn to burn
tick tock tick tock
too many hands on the clock..

1 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 18 June :: 1.59pm

we walk around aimlessly as we search for the answers to lifes questions. but who can really answer them? who can tell you what love is? when love can be interpreted differently by each and every person on this earth? whose to say whats wrong or right? we base everything on our society whats accepted and whats frowned upon. but its never really wrong unless you feel its wrong..

life works in crazy ways and i think that he was sent to me to get past everything.. to make my life easier to make me feel loved.. and its working im happy and i have been for the past week and every seemingly minute change in my life is impacting more than i can even grasp right now

joe and scott came over the other night and we had a talk about death.. and what joe said was completely true people are afraid of death because they feel nothing.. "like sleeping without dreaming" you dont feel anything when your sleeping.. your just.. not there.. and everything is going on around you and you are blissfully un aware.. and that scares me

and i also realized what my problem is..
i am constantly the one giving advice helping ppl analyzing ppl and things around me.. and when i am questioned i cant stand it.. because i am vulnerable and i cant stand rejection because im vulnerable and i cant stand heartbreak because i cant control it.. i hat e situations where im not in control.. just like i cant control whether or not i can hit a baseball when its thrown to me and that fact that i might not hit it shys me away from the game

just like with guys.. im afraid to make the first move because i dont know if they want me.. and once i know they want me im not afraid.. because its gaurenteed.. i wont feel rejection.. and that puts me in control of the situation..

i sit here day by day watching my ashtray fill up with cigarette after cigarette.. and its proof to me that one day is the same as the next..

life is crazy.. love is pain.. pain is pleasure.. and i live for it all..

.. my confession because i'm diluted
& perfectly flawed
i shall live by passion
& not by law
and i'm insecure ...
i need aggression
to feed the spiders of perception
and i'm supposed to be strong
& have all the answers
a cannibal
in the new church of cancer
but i'm nothing special
i'm not unique
i have many secrets
& i eat the weak
and i'm at an end
i'm at an end .....
and there's ...
NO WAY OUT!!

[chorus]
i need to find my sanctuary
..... someplace safe
gotta get this outta me
..... this is my escape

and i think about it all the time
i'm volatile and afraid to cry
but i'm still not comfortable
in my skin and the
anesthetics slowly wearing thin
& i need to talk to someone new
i need a different latitude
& i'm in this void all alone!
feeling needy... hungry to grow
but i'm suffocating -- can't come down
and .... no ....
THERE'S NO WAY OUT!!!

--- all i see is sadness
all i see is sadness ....
what's left?
-- this will teach them.
this will teach them,
......you've got to......
push.
Push.
PUSH............you are not alone
- this is where i hide my power
- this is where i become free
- this is where i take control
- and slowly choke your fantasies
- i want to know my day is coming
- see my enemies be punished
- shed my skin again
- this will be my best revenge!!
SHED MY SKIN AGAIN
THIS WILL BE MY BEST REVENGE!

2 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 18 June :: 1.01am

why does it feel so good to be so bad...

interesting..

Put me on the counter in the kitchen
Now baby pour my body with some ice cream
Lick me from head to toe
Bending me over
69'll be the next thing
I wanna taste your body all night long
From sun up to sun down I wanna make you moan

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 17 June :: 6.20am

it must of been love
but its over now..
it must have been good
but i lost it somehow...

...SoMeWhErE...

Cocopuff

:: 2005 16 June :: 2.54pm
:: Music: Jack Johnson-"Posters"

hmm
Its been so long since i wrote in this thing but i jsut randmly got the urge to write in here.. TEN DAYS TILL MY BIRTHDAY :-D!!! well school is amost over, only finals left.. then im off to flordia for 2 weeks :-( i really dont want to go.. its to long to b away i think.. but what can i do? "All this talk of getting old is getting me down my love.." I cant believe that i only have two years of high school left.. it makes me sad to think abot.. it seems like it all just strated... and they say these days are the best times of are lives... thats scary.. with all the dram and shit that goes on EVERYDAY over nothing how can these times b the best.. and if they relly are then how much wores can life b?? and what about all these people i love?? am i really never goann see them after high school... that thought of that makes me so sick to my stomach... all i know is that shit is all fucked up i guess.. and im jsut writing to my slef right now so im goann write my law final wich is worth my time...

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 16 June :: 2.27pm

You say you wander your own life
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Youre gone from here, soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

Oh everybody�s changing and I don�t feel the same

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 13 June :: 6.26am

soo yesterday i went to scotties graduation party which was fun ryan sean joe and steph were there so it was obv good to see them :-)
n i was glad i got to spend some time with scottie n meet some new ppl

i miss you.....
i want you to come home..

im going crazyyyyyyyyy

the wind blows away the past
and the world watches helplessly
natural beauty hides beneath the skin
enveloping what ive hidden within
--and again i glance into your eyes

the sun shines down exposing the truth
truth which has been lost
pain which has been cast aside
taken by the hands of time
--and again rain falls from the sky

the clouds block my view
and sheild the light from my skin
containing all that i am in a whisp
in a feeling something like this
--and again i succumb to the lies

the earth quakes and i skip a step
im jolted now from side to side
turned inside out and i cant turn back
the skies awak and its fading into black
--and again a spirit dies

the moon rises high in silvery praise
dancing with the stars
which hide in the blackening sky
and i wont return, to wonder why
--glancing into your eyes..

...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2005 12 June :: 12.21pm

im sorry scottie and joe :(

...SoMeWhErE...

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