say one thing...do another
well since im not there nemore, you can go on pretending like i dont exist, if thats what you truly want to do. forget your promises....mayeb i wouldnt notice.

well its really shitty because you guys are all i had left. maybe youll reconsider. you meant everything to me, and i now i know what i meant to you.


please comment.

i guess...
i guess people forget. or lie. or they do things for no reason.

i will never understand...

have i been lying to myself?

im sick of everything, i hate it all.




i hope you like the new setup. (sry nikkie! i was ahving fun with my photobucket)


comment please

nothing
i hate school!!i havent made any friends lol. i hate it there!i wanna come back to nhs...where i belong :-(well thats my complaint...


comment

:(
still soo unsure about everything.

i can never tell how people feel. i guess people play too many games. or do they? i dont even know.

im just sick of always not knowing



tell me how you feel.

fuck everything

....
what is the point in lying if the truth would hurt less anyway?

and whats the point in pretending?

why cant people ever be real..or genuine

why cant people ever mean what they say.

stop playing games, tell the truth.

well...
since i got here..i kept thinking things were gunna change.... like idk..people just calling me..or writing to me... it feels kinda like i dont exist...or like i dont matter any more. its no ones fault. i couldnt help that i was moving.. nobody could. what i eally wonder about is what if i had stayed... would my friendships had lasted like id expected...or would they have faded any wya as i feel them doing now? i tell myself that i would have been happy...but maybe i would be just as sad. i miss u all so much.. more than i can even say. but i wonder is the feeling returned. it hurts to think about because it could be true. am i as much of a loss to u as u were to me? did u care liek i did.

i dont know why i go on and on like this. i guess its because i have no where else to say this.

1 508 277 4424

my new cell, please call me

comment if you can

none...
went to canobie lake park today...just got home.

i feel so weird not being in natick...like not in school today..or even with all of the people i was with. idk what im talkign about

i just miss u

please comment.

.....
i have just gotten back from hampton beach. i had a fun day while u were all in school haha...to tell the truth i would have rather been in natick tho :-/ . i went on all the water slides and stuff there..it was fun. lol i got burned on my faceand it hurts when i make expressions lol! well thats all for now...

darien

boredom
hello, i just cam,e back form the surprsingly large mall and shopping center in nh...got some clothes, and accessories for my new room. i wish i could move my house to natick...i cant help crying when i feel so alone here. evrything is so different. it still feels like im only on atrip, and that im gunna come home, i know its gunna take so long to adjust...and im not prepared. i just wish this never happened...i just never imagined it would...ive seen this situaion from the outside looking in, but now its the opposite. i feel liek ive complained enoiugh abotu this, but its all i feel...and all i can think about iguess....idk

*darien

i dont know...
ive been either furniture shopping, unpacking, organizing, or cleanin g for the past four days. the rest of my time was spent in my room crying, and wishing i could come home. there isnt nething i wouldnt do to come home, and go to school with all of u tomorrow. i miss u so much and ive been here for less than a week.

please write to me or just call me, u have no idea how much it would mean to me.

ill try and update as much as i can, but who really cares if i dont?

i dont belong here, i know i never will.

i have no one.

.. :-(
in new hampshire at my moms friends house.. the movers spent like 8 hours packing up my house today. it really sucked and then nikkie showed up as a surprise with julie and a cake they made for me! they both had written me really nice cards and made me feel better. :) i miss them already! :'-( and brittany and michelle came too. we sat around and talked while th e moving dudes were there. thank you so much for making this day a little better for me guys. wel ever since i left and got in the car to move out of naycik forvevr, i couldnt stop crying. ifeel so sad. its awful idk what to do. my mom sgiving me her new cell soon so ill post the number later. i wotn have internet access until tuesday soi wont be able to go online til then. otherwise i will post an entry every day or as much as i can! i love you gusy so much and i miss you every second ive been away from u, it still really hasnt even hit me yet...:-/

call me after friday at my new house phone : 1 603 424 6366 please!!!

and 4 sunrise drive, the zip code is 03054.

please call me and write me as much as u can. it would mean so much to me..

ill update later. :'-(

nothing really
on thursday i went up to the merrmiack hs, the school is nice, and it has 3 floors. i am gunna get lost there :( i dont wanna go! lol i got my new schedule for the school and im in no honors classes cuz they all required summer eading and other assignments. whatever. the guidance counselor says that the girls at mhs dress very innappropriately and have very foul mouths...something to look forward to! haha. the school has a closed campus and a system of demerits. apparently if i am caught under a stairwell i can get suspended because of previous activities that have taken place in those areas lol.

well yesterday sucked alot. i thought i had plans but it turns out they didnt happen. why i dont really know. i still got to hang out with julie and nikkie and we slept over julies house.

i hate my life rite now, for the first time since i can remember, i really do, and rite now, i feel thats theres nothingi can do about.