:: 2005 27 May :: 8.55 pm

300th Journal Entry!

Heh. Woo. Everyone celebrate.

So, tonight, I did what I just bitched about doing.
I (kind of) ditched people...
But I mean, only for a couple of minutes.
Because I showed up, and everything felt... Weird.

And Derrek called, so I went to go visit him.

When I came back, I guess people were either:
A.)Mad that I left, or
B.)Upset that I came back?

Because, no one talked to me.
Except for a few small comments from Tony. And Ryan.
But mostly just Tony telling me to go to sleep.
Because I "looked dead."

I guess I can't complain.
I didn't exactly try to strike up a conversation.

It was just... weird;
Sitting there. Staring out the window.
I always feel so out of place these days.
And I'm not sure why.

I must've really fucked up this time.

So. Happy 300th entry to me.
I've gone back and read over entries before--
I was so much happier.
Regardless, I was still a bi-polar, angsty teen.
I guess I'll just have to get used to feeling like this. =/

3 carrot flowers | oh comely...

:: 2005 27 May :: 11.39 am

I'm about to go out to dinner.
I'm not sure who's going to be there...
But I'm nervous. Because apparently people don't enjoy being around me...
Oh well. We'll see how it goes.

oh comely...

:: 2005 26 May :: 3.13 pm

You know what?
Fuck all of this.
Bad day.
Just shows me not to have high expectations.
Ever.
*sigh*

Edit @ 6:30: And now... This is what I get for posting my feelings online.
Oh well.
I'll just go jump of my fucking plateau of righteousness.
Maybe I'll just leave you all alone.
Because, you know, no one enjoys beign around a clueless person.

God. I didn't know a simple little comment could hurt so bad.
Welcome to the drama of the online journal.

3 carrot flowers | oh comely...

:: 2005 25 May :: 11.49 pm

You know what pisses me the fuck off?
When friends ditch their friends.

I'm sorry, but it makes me lose a lot of the respect I might have had for that person.

What ever happened to the almost daily visits I got?
What the fuck even happened to us talking?
I bet you probably think I'm not talking about you...
Fuck, I bet you don't even read this.

There are only a few things in life that really and truley piss me off... And this is one of them.

So, you make some new friends and just don't ever talk to us anymore? Wow. Great. Thank you.

I can't even fucking think straight.
Damnit.

Not the greatest of days. But Keely's here, which should prove to be enlightening. ;P

5 carrot flowers | oh comely...

:: 2005 25 May :: 1.17 pm

So it's finally over...
Freedom is mine.
But I am so afraid that we'll all lose touch...
Again.
Please, just keep our friendships alive.
I've worked hard on this,
And I'll be damned if I lose it all.

I just went to J. Michael's Philly Deli with Carlos, JT, Nick and Killian.
It was pretty fun, and I hope we can do something like it again, soon.

oh comely...