loserxdork
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2009 28 January :: 1.25am
Just thought I would stop by every now and then to say whats up, and let everyone know that I am alive. I am alive, doing semi-well. Still working the crappy Telemarketing job that I hate, and I just recently got another job. That one is a babysitting job that starts in March, hopefully my boss will let me keep my job now as well. I'm still with Joe (it was 3 years in August) and that's about it. I'm living with my mother, her "friend" and her daughter which is complete suckage but I deal. I spend a lot of time with Joe, I speak to my dad....occasionally. He still doesn't call me, ever but whatever I deal. I guess I've just learned that is the way he is and I can't get mad, well, I can but I can't take it out on him because nothing will ever change. Well, that is really it!
oh comely...
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loserxdork
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2008 26 November :: 12.42am
:: Mood: nostalgic
Whoaa.
I can't believe I always forget about my Woohu. It's sad. This was my first journal site, and I love it. I just wish others here were still active. No one that I used to talk to is really on here and it makes me sad. If anyone is interested you can find me a few different ways.
FACEBOOK: Search for me (Marissa Fein) just tell me who you are, and that you're from WOOHU.
MySpace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=609403 - There is my link, send me a message and let me know who you are and that you are from WOOHU :)
AIM: Defectivexbeauty
YAHOO: lovesalosinggame
Livejournal (that I barely use): riss___
Melodramatic.com: dorktothemax
So, that aside things are going ok. So much has been going on in my life it would take me ages to update everyone. If you'd like to talk, just find me and I would be glad to indulge in some intelligent conversation, witty banter, or just shooting the shit :)
1 carrot flower |
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 7 July :: 10.24am
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: Incubus - Agoraphobia
just fucking great, im crying over her again... FUCK ME I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
and on top of it all, rays in richmond now... my only escape from this nightmare just left for like 3 weeks... SHIT...
Two people touching lips
Hands on each other's hips
Nothing in else in the world but one another
The 42nd floor
On a distant shore
I wonder how we strayed so far from this
Remember when we were
Just flesh and bone
You say, "We have forgotten how cordial war could be"
So, put down your hollow sips
And kiss your lovers lips
And learn that fate is what you make of it
Please end this
Before it ends us
I wanna stay inside
I wanna stay inside for good
I wanna stay inside
For good
I read the news today
And everything they say
Just makes me want to stay inside
And a better part of me knows
That waiting in the throes
Is all on par with reading with my eyes closed
"What Can I do?", You say
It's just another day
In the life of apes with ego trips
Put down your hollow sips
And kiss your lover's lips
And learn that fate is what we make of it
Please end this
Before it ends us
I wanna stay inside
I wanna stay inside for good
I wanna stay inside
For good
I'm gonna stay inside
I'm gonna stay inside for good
I'm gonna stay inside
For Good
1 carrot flower |
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 7 July :: 10.03am
it still hurts.... god damnit, i read one of her blogs a second ago and it hurt so bad i could physically feel it. i only want to be with her, im starting to realize this, and idk, maybe my only goal now should be trying to get her back... but i think its too late for that... i really think its too late... and that scares me. god i cant imagine trying to plan my life without her. i miss her so much. i feel so pathetic but there is nothing i can do to control it. Maybe it would be better if i just get over it and try to move on.... it seems like love is now a goal... i dont know. love hurts... way too much... i cant believe i still think its worth it...
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 5 July :: 8.23pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: Incubus
Normally i wouldnt write a blog entry while im not near an internet connection and post it later but i just feel out of it right now... hell... somthing is seriously wrong with me... i just did somthing i swore i would never do again... somthing that used to scare the ever living shit out of me... somthing that i couldnt say no too before and all of a sudden cant again... no one told me to do it, no one talked me into it, i just couldnt talk myself out of it... i cut again... just a few nicks, enough to let the blood drip on some pictures... and it made me feel better... somthing that comes rarely now... but now im scared. Liz came by today, i kissed her, a few times. i kissed her like nothing was wrong, and it almost made me feel like nothing was wrong. she said she is moving out in less than a month and it made me think... right now i should be saving up to go with her, but instead im behind on my rent and sitting on my floor listening to incubus looking at bloody pictures of me and her. what the fuck happened to me and what should i do to fix it? why am i acting like this? ugh... i just feel like complete shit... i kinda met a girl i spent some time over the past couple days with who was helping me forget and who was filling the void... i said somthing about her the other day when kelsey asked me if i liked her and ray said it was the best compliment i could ever give her, all i said was (and its going to sound mean unless you could understand what ive been thru durring mine and liz's relationship) "shes a huge downgrade from liz in looks, personality, and education... i think shes exactly what i need right now" but aparently she isnt making me happy either, look at where im at right now... im more pathetic than ive been in years. im acting like a middle schooler and i can see myself acting in this horrible way but there is nothing i can do about it. i told liz i thought i was going to regret kissing her in 10 minutes and honestly i dont. i feel bad because i dont know if im leading her on or not, i dont know if we will ever get back together or not. right now id rather not think about it. i need to get fucked up, but im broke, and they dont make the kind of drugs i need. well... maybe arsnic... wait, sam will be home soon... maybe i can convince her to get some starter fluid... i really think the only thing that can help right now is ether... and way too much of it.
oh comely...
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