blackecho101
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2008 1 July :: 7.30pm
:: Music: Incubus (again)
the worlds a roller coaster yet we are not strapped in
i guess i feel a little bit better... maybe... still pretty pathetic... but hell... as long as there are partys and friends ill be alright. im pretty sure im going insane, and if im not im surely killing myself 10 times faster than i was a couple months ago... but whatever, lifes short, live it. right? fuck the dumb shit... i dont need anyone but my family right now but in an hour all ill want is her. i need someone to talk to right about now... that would be lovely... wish i had at least that. ugh...
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 29 June :: 3.50am
:: Music: Incubus
Pardon me while i burst
dude, ive cryed all night... this is not going to be easy. in fact, this is going to be very fucking hard. i was shit faced by 7-8 making a fool out of myself at rays house passed out drunk in my bed and woke up just to stay up the rest of the night crying... why? because a girl i didnt even want to spend time with the past few weeks now has 'single' on her myspace... or because i have to pretend im okay when im around her when acually thats the furthest from okay ive ever been. my biggest fear is being alone, and now im alone... and besides that, im a wierd kind of attention whore... ive decided this... i strive to be wanted, strive to be needed... now im just here... all the alcohol cant help that... but it numbs the pain for a little while... or at least i think it does idk... its just a phase
I am bottled fizzy water
And you were shaking me up
You are a fingernail running
Down the chalkboard I thought I left in third grade
Now my only consolation
Is that this could not last forever
Even though you're singing and thinking how well you've got it made
Who are you?
And will you be through
Yeah, it's just a phase
It will be over soon
Yeah, it's just a phase
Yeah, it's just a...phase
Call it women's intuition
But I think I'm on to something here
Temporaryism has been the black plague
And the Jesus of our age
I know that I sound opinionated
Maybe biased and quite possibly jaded
But sooner than later they'll be throwing quarters at you on the stage
Who are you?
And will you be through
Yeah, it's just a phase
It will be over soon
Yeah, it's just a phase
Yeah, it's just a...phase
And I am waiting for it to be over too
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 28 June :: 2.09am
:: Music: Incubus
should i be happy?
Well, i finally did it; its over. We're over... and as unhappy as i was before, just like i knew i would be, I'm more miserable now. I feel like a piece of shit, a sorry dirty low down piece of shit. I'm not gona go get all emo over this break up or anything, don't worry about that, but its going take a minute to get over... i mean, shit, 7 beers and 2 350mg muscle relaxers surely did'nt ease this pain, how disappointing. omg, i need to cheer up and relax, this is ridiculous. I'm scared, relieved, and regretful all at the same time. i cant even focus on this damn blog im noddin from the pills so bad... im fuckered and im still feelin bad, its getting alot better, and worse i guess, by the minute. maybe ill update this more often, its starting to become a habbit, hell yeah! yup, im noddin out i almost smacked the keyboard with my forehead that time... that was pretty great.
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 27 June :: 1.33am
implode or explode?
still confused, still distraught, still dont know what to do, still dont feel right spilling it all out to anyone. Honnestly the best way of describing how im feeling is that i feel like im so empty im going to implode but being so full i feel like im going to explode.
oh comely...
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blackecho101
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2008 27 June :: 1.33am
implode or explode?
still confused, still distraught, still dont know what to do, still dont feel right spilling it all out to anyone. Honnestly the best way of describing how im feeling is that i feel like im so empty im going to implode but being so full i feel like im going to explode.
oh comely...
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