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2005 6 January :: 8.50pm
:: Mood: *sigh*
I miss the days when I was in love.
I miss crushes.
I just miss acting my age.
I wish I was happy.
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2005 5 January :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: tired
just me.. I was in the rain, so I look like poo.
Gabrielle.. 3 months and 4 days. <3
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2005 4 January :: 6.12pm
I'm on myspace.com and looking at all the "parent groups" "mommies groups" ect.
I was looking at this one topic "How old are you when you had your first" and I just started crying when I was reading it.. why? I'm not sure; maybe because I could never have imagined how many people my age have gotten pregnant. I guess I'm a lot more scared that I lead on to be. It is scary.. I think about it all the time. Will I be a good mom? What if something happens and I don't know how to deel with it? How am I going to pay for everything? And just all these other things. It's really upseting me anymore. I just don't want to be a bad mom.
I'm glad I've gotten that off my chest, I feel a little better now. It just feels good to realize I've got people out there like me.
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2005 4 January :: 3.58pm
:: Mood: blah
So today I realized that I think someone in school is HOTT. Oh baby oh baby, yes.. go ahead and ask me who!
Anyways,
Boring day, I yelled at some people, I laughed, I screamed, I whispered, and I had a good day. *smiles*
Well, Jim was supposed to come get me at school, but he ended up not. So we got into a fight.
That is all.
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2005 3 January :: 10.32am
The beautiful is ugly, and the ugly is beautiful.
-SHAKESPEARE; MACBETH
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2005 2 January :: 8.16pm
I wish I could fly.
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2005 2 January :: 4.09pm
:: Mood: cranky
Well lets see, how that I've cleared up me not being a "slut" and no one left a comment asking me anything else.. I expect not to be called that again.
Now I was supposed to go Jims house today.. but noo my mom all the sudden coundn't take my sisters with them.. so I had to stay home and watch them.. okay; It's okay if I have plans.. don't worry about me.. I don't mind. WTF? HI, I'M A FUCKIN' PERSON TO. I HAVE FEELINGS, I WOULD LIKE TO GET OUT OF THIS PRISION.
I'M COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL MY 18TH BIRTHDAY.. but yet my 17th birthday is in 25 days. *sighs* I fuckin' can not wait until I leave. I just can't wait.
Well anyways, I was up my Aunt Loraines for dinner.. we ate blah blah blah.. then my cousin Doug just kept yelling and yelling at Anna for doing something that he "thought" she was doing.. I got really pissed off and we all left. Then my Aunt Loraine got mad at me and asked me to please not leave.. but I left anyways, Anna's not going to get yelled at all the time for things she's not doing wrong. ANYWAYS..
I gave my Aunt Loraine $40 dollars for almost brand new crib&changing table.. I told her it was my moms money; [she didn't want me to pay for it so I could buy a car seat and a mattress] but I just told her it was my moms money.. but I don't think she believed me. Mmmmm.. I hope she doesn't ask my mom. And really, I just really hate asking my mom to buy me anything.. she brings it up in our fights all the time, and makes me feel bad about everything. Hey if she would let me move out.. I would. But she's just controlling me in everything I do, so I can't do anything anymore. But that's enough about that.. because I'm getting irate.
Ahhh. I WANT MY LIFE BACK.
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2005 1 January :: 2.58pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: lagwagon - tomorrow is heartbreak
My new years resolution is too lose a few pounds, eat better and exercise.
Now for my real entry. SLUT?
Well, I got a call last night.. I guess that's what I get for leaving my number online for people to see.. but anyways, they kept saying how I was a slut and everything.. well now lets clear a few things up.
1. Yes, I do have a 3 month old daughter.. [[SHES 3 MONTHS OLD TODAY!!]] her name is Gabrielle.
2. No I haven't had sex with multipul people.
3. Yes, I've had sex with one person, and only one person. And yes that's Jim, and YES Gabrielle is his daughter.
4. No matter what you've heard about me, it probably isn't true. I went through a "slutty stage" where I pretended like I was a slut; but in reality I just wanted attention. [[yes;; the attention whore I am.]]
5. No, I've never cheated on Jim.. and I won't ever cheat on him. Yes I've thought other guys were "cute" or "hott" or however you want to say it.. but I haven't ever actually acted on them.
Well, if anyone has anymore questions just leave a comment, and I'll be sure you answer.
I just wanted to start a new year fresh. :)
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2004 30 December :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: irate
:: Music: pinebender - begin here
I went shopping today with Amy.
Here's a picture of my cool self.
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2004 29 December :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: chipper
I feel.. like DANCING.
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2004 27 December :: 10.43pm
I went shopping with my Aunt Loraine, Gram, Gabrielle and Samantha today.
Jim met me there.. we shopped together.. I got 7 new pair of jeans, and about 10 shirts. Yay. I had a good time.
<3
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2004 26 December :: 8.19pm
Jim and I went to his grams, dads, and sisters last night.
I got some gifts. So did Gab.
Jims dad gave me $100, Kim gave me $25 gift certifiticate for JcPennys, his uncle Steve gave me $30, his mom got me a pair of Betty Boop PJs, & a photo album.
Gab got a "Build a Bear" from John (Jims dad), a cute little froggy thing from Kim, books, baby einstine (SP?) DVD, and a "count with me" doll from Donna (Jims mom).
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2004 26 December :: 1.02am
Jim and I are back together. Being apart from him just made me realize how much I love him.. I guess I should know that we were ment for each other.. nothing can break us apart.
He got me
*a box of Saris Candy
*Chocolate covered pretzles.
*Smelly good candle
*A big huge basket from Bath and Body Works.
*The cutest card in the world.
Now for the drama.. read my "friends only" entry tomorrow.
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2004 23 December :: 11.44pm
Today, Jim and I went Christmas shopping for Gabrielle.
We kissed. And held hands.
What's going on?
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2004 22 December :: 7.56pm
Jim and I are just friends..
There goes 2 years.
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