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2003 15 November :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: silence
laga and other things..
so last night we went to club laga to see tear her eyes. ahhhh.. what an adventure on the way there, and the way back.. right amy? lol. we had fun.. oh yeah we did.. haha.
some funny moments:
-- HAPPY SACK TIME
-- Tampon rental.. haha
-- Me going out the In door
-- The LJS hat
-- The guys' faces at BP
-- Me and Amy dancing in the parking lot
-- CORN SQUIRTERS!!
-- PURDUE?! ::points:: IT'S HERS!
-- Ahhh Amy!! I'm so stupid for not talking..!!
[thanks amy.. i stole this from you.]
this won't mean anything to anyone other than amy and i.. haha.
I went down jims house around 12:00, and just got back at 3:20. and here i am writing in my journal.
i'm hungry as shit..
xx.jena
"Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it?"
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2003 13 November :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: our lady peace - supermans dead
a little lot mad.
..jim ended up not coming over last night.
i'd rather not even talk about it.
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2003 12 November :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: semisonic - closing time
to many pills.
i'm anxious for jim to get here.. hopefully he comes over. he's been promising me he'd come over for the past almost a week now. :(
 
aww.. it's mr floppers.
so my mom got my perscription, and i started taking them tonight. i guess after i'm done with these pills, they're going to give me a yeast infection- and then i'll have to get medicine for that. [is it never ending?! when will i be off drugs?! haha]
since i missed those two days, i really didn't miss that much, i caught up in advance word processing, and the only class that i'm really kinda behind in is algebra. so oh well. i'll just get caught up with that, then i'm good. i forgot to get my report card. damn.
it's so cold outside anymore. i don't like it. i want it to be spring. and stay spring. forever.
xx.jena
"i can hear you in a whisper but you can't even hear me screaming"
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2003 11 November :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: moulin rouge
the infatuation will end.
..sorry about the title, watching moulin rouge again.
i'm just sitting here, on my day off of school [it's veterans' day.] not really doing anything. jim was supposed to come over last night, and he promised. yet once again- he somehow "couldn't find a ride" god, he makes me so mad! i didn't go to school yesterday, and i don't have school today. it would have been a perfect time for us to be together.. but no.
yesterday i went to the doctors. i had to give them a urine sample.. and they gave me these pills that makes my pee orangeish/red! omygosh, it's really scary, because every time i look down after i go to the bathroom- i think i'm bleeding.. whoa, it's just kinda freaky. but oh well. as long as they help! i have a really bad bladder infection. it sucks so bad. my mom has to run out sometime today and get my other pills- i think they're just antibiodics.
i missed 2 days of school [friday and monday] so i'm gonna be more behind in all my classes.. and i'll be getting my report card tomorrow. damn.
i can't wait until friday, amy and i are going to club laga [a little club in pittsburgh.] ohhhh yeah.
oh i forgot to tell everyone that i'm not moving. which is a good and a bad thing. but oh well, can't do anything about it now.
man, i really don't want to go to school tomorrow.
xx.jena
"nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets."
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2003 9 November :: 6.52pm
:: Mood: infuriated
:: Music: meet joe black [the movie] on tv
was an o.k. day..
i love this movie.. meet joe black god, it is so sad.. i'm sitting here crying because of the ending.. :(
today was an ok day.. i guess. i woke up around 11, and just got online and did nothing until around 2 and then i started to paint my mirror. my mirror my mom got somewhere, she was just going to throw it away, and i told her i wanted it.. and i'd paint it and everything. so i started that today. it's black and silver. but i'm not totally done with it, i still have to paint some silver stuff on it. i waited and waited until around 4:30, because jim was supposed to come over after work and stay the night because he didn't work tomorrow. i waited and waited and waited and he finially called at 6:30, and told me that he couldn't come over and that he just got home.
i was worried, now i'm just kinda upset.
i have school tomorrow. and i don't want to go. now that jim's not going.. i don't even have a reason to go anymore. it's like that quote that says:
there's always one boy
who makes you get up
and go to school everyday
..and jim was that boy. :(
..and now he's not in school anymore.
..so what now?
ahhhh.
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2003 9 November :: 3.39pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: the radio
a picture of jim and i
it's a picture of jim and i. =)
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2003 8 November :: 5.22pm
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: trapt - still framed
in a pretty good mood
hello. it was actually a darn good day today.
i woke up around 9:30, and called jim. no one answered, so i called back around 10:30 or so, and he finially answered. we talked for a while, then around 11:30 [after i got a shower and everything] i walked down his house. when i got there we popped in a movie, [tom and huck.. a disney movie. mwahaha.] and we watched half of that, went upstairs ordered some food, came back downstairs waited for the food and then watched the rest of the movie. after that we just waited until my mom got there and then he left and went to work, and i left and went home.
i missed him. we're doing good actually. i don't have any more doubts about us. =) none what-so-ever. =)
i'm pretty happy.
<3 jena.
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2003 6 November :: 8.03pm
:: Mood: nerdy
:: Music: whatever's on the radio.
haven't updated.
sorry i haven't been updating lately.. i guess i needed a break from on here..
but i'll write more. promise.
sorry to friends that i haven't been noting. <3 you guys.
well, note me if you still remember me.. :(
oh, everyone should join nerdnation.net. it's awesome.
<3, jena.
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2003 25 October :: 7.46am
:: Mood: tired, and annoyed
:: Music: silence
i can't sleep. damnit
it's 7:30 in the morning, and i'm wide awake. what the hell? it's the weekend, i should be sleeping in. but nooo.. not me. not jena.
so much stuff has been going on.. actually just to much to write about. but i'll write a little about a couple.
we did go to georges interview on wednesday. the town is called sunbury. the houses are beautiful.. i think beautiful might be to dull of a word. we'll know by the begining of this week if george got the job, and if we will have to move.
jim and i.. lets see. to much to write about. so much going on. and just so much i don't even want to talk about.
the little town parade is today. aww. i'm not going. jim has to work.. i don't like going anywhere without him. so oh well.
andyfest is sunday. [it's like a little benifit concert with all kind of bands, because this little boy got hit by a truck and died.. and every year his family does this.] it's like hard rock, and heavy metal kinda music. it's definitly awsome. so i hope jim can get off work for that.. but if he can't, that's one thing that i'll go to no matter what.
i guess i don't really have anything else to write..
oh, i've been thinking about making my journal a friends only journal. only because i know some people that i don't like read it. =)
..but i'm not sure yet what i'm going to do.
i love you jim.
xx.jena
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2003 19 October :: 11.48pm
:: Mood: i was in a good mood, until my entry didn't save,
:: Music: cheap trick - i want you to want me
jim?
so last night around mindnight, jim called and we sorta got into a little fight, i don't even remember what it was about, but i was like "so do you think we need some time off? is that what you think?" and he said "yeah, i guess" so i was like "well if times what you want, then you have all the time you want." and i said bye and hung up the fone.
he called back a little later, while i was still crying [i didn't answer the fone.] and was like "jena, i love you blah blah blah i just don't know why you always get mad at me.. blah blah blah.. i love you so much, and i never ever want time apart from you. i love you so much, you can call me back even though i know you probably wont. love you, bye.." that was pretty much what he said, i probably left out a couple things, but it's okay, it was for me anyways, not for everyone else to hear.
i was crying for probably 30 minutes, before i got that.. then i fell asleep around 1 or 2.. he called at like 3:00, and i answered. we made up i guess, though i don't really remember what we said. but he did say sorry.. and that he loved me and everything..
today he called me before he went to work, and we talked.. but just for a couple minutes, cause he had to leave for work. and we just told eachother that we loved eachother and all that good stuff.
i was going to have my mom take us to the movies after he got off work, but he worked overtime cause someone got fired or something. so that screwed my plans for making up with him. [damn that person for getting fired. =(=(=(]
he came up amys around 9:30-10:00.. and we hugged, and kissed and all that good stuff. i love him so much. i can't even imagine not being with him. i don't even know what i'd do.. probably die.
this wed. he might go with us to the little town near harrisburg. [aww!] i can't wait to go. thank god i get out of school.
-x|x- jena
-----compared to what i wrote, and what really happened. this sounds like a fuckin fairy tale.
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2003 18 October :: 3.49pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: scooby-doo on tv
-hopefully moving-
okay.. jim had to be at work at four and he didn't call me all fuckin day.. it's 3:42 right now. so he probably left for work already. god. i am so pissed off.
To Die Alone
Your greatest fear is to die alone. You are
probably a very shy person. The thing you want
most is someone to understand you and be with
you.
What's your greatest fear? (images)
brought to you by Quizilla
george is going for an interview [for that job near harrisburg] on wed. and my mom and i are going to go with him to look for some houses. we need him to get this job so much. we need the money.. really bad. so i get to skip school wed. [thank god]
i came home from school early yesterday. fuck school. i hate everyone in it. why can't people just leave me alone, and not ask me questions?
xx. jena
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2003 18 October :: 11.31am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: silence
(more upset than mad)
"i'll call you when i get home from work" were some of the last words i heard from him before he left to go to work..
11:30 came.. no call.
12:00 came.. no call.
12:30 came.. no call.
1:00 came.. no call.
1:30 came.. no call.
2:00 came.. no call.
2:30 came.. no call.
3:00 came, i gave up and went to bed.
so, yeah. i am a little pathetic, waiting about 3 hours more than i should.. i knew past 12:00 if he didn't call, then he wouldn't call at all.. but you know me and my wishful thinking.
i woke up at 6:00 crying in my sleep. i had a nightmare.. though i don't want to talk about it.. i went to the bathroom, and then stayed up for about 30 minutes, because i checked my cell for any missed calls, or messages someone might have left on it..
jim's my whole world.. so what do i have left when he's takin away from me?.. nothing.
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2003 17 October :: 8.49pm
:: Mood: sad
he studied her for a long while when he walked in the door "you look tired," he said.
not tired, sad. she thought to herself, as she smiled and slightly shrugged it off..
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2003 14 October :: 5.10pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: the used - bulimic
not that it's any of your business..
just to clear some things up, about my last entry.. i wasn't talking about anyone that has a journal on here, or any of my "friends".
so, who ever left me that note. there you go. it clears that up.
apparently people didn't read the disclamer on the top of my journal. so read it. NOW. so maybe next time, you won't have a problem.
i'm going to go, shut the computer off because it's storming really bad.
xx.jena
p.s. i love you jim.
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