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2005 3 May :: 10.11am
:: Mood: cold
I'm cold.. and I look like crap. Buuuut anyways.
Jim and I are going to Kennywood after prom. I got my dress, Becky and I went to get ours together.. mine is dark blue.. I'll put a picture of it up sometime next week.
Kelly and I have been going to Drivers Theory everyday from 5-8:30.. it's so boring sometimes, but we always end up ordering pizza or eating something. So that's cool. It's a small class- which is good because I hate big classes.
Jim and I? I don't know what to do.. we're so good together, but I can't ignore that I like someone else. Should I ignore the feelings and just get back with Jim? I mean, he's trying so hard to do everything that I want him to.. I wish I knew what to do.
Gabrielle is 7 months already.. I'll have to put up a picture of her when I put up a picture of my dress. She's getting so big.
Sunday=Mothers Day!!! It's my first Mothers Day! Awww.
I'm so bored right now, Becky told me to update because I never do anymore.. I'm so busy. Weekends I try to please everyone and go out with friends, with this one guy, Jim, my Aunt Loraine and it's hard. Weekdays I'm busy with school, then going to Drivers Theory.. I hardly get to see Gabrielle anymore.
I don't know whether or not to send Darlene (my "mom") a Mothers Day card.
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2005 29 April :: 10.23am
:: Mood: gloomy
:: Music: papa roach - done with you
I count the days that we have spent apart
I've got a bad liver and a broken heart
Theres no salvation in the comfort of you
I finally realized your tearing me apart
So help me, save me, tell me that the end is near
Help me, save me, tell me that the end is near
I am done with you
You make my life completely miserable
You drove me to the edge,
you've caused me all this pain
But I've always loved you
cause your oh so special
I'm broken and I'm alone and I can't maintain
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2005 26 April :: 10.13am
:: Mood: dorky
I have the worst cramps.
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2005 23 April :: 10.25pm
:: Mood: depressed
Okay, sorry about the last entry, I was just upset. I'm okay now? But anyway..
Jim came to pick me up at Beckys and we talked. We're still just friends, and we're both okay with that. But he does have a date tomorrow with some girl. I'm happy for him.. He was like "Jena, I do still love you. You know if anyone hurt you, I'd kill them." then he paused and said "But I know someone already hurt you by the way you're acting." Haha, it was cute. We went to Sheetz around 7:00 to get some gas, then we went out to the mall. I got a whole bunch of cute things and spent all my Kennywood money since I don't think I'm going anymore.
Yeah, I love you Becky and Amy.. thanks for being there for me. I know I let things get to me more than I should. But I'm okay now. :-P Love you girls..
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2005 23 April :: 4.31pm
:: Mood: disappointed
Well this weekend sucked, I stayed over Amys.. Things happened, Jim 'found someone'. I suck, I'm over Beckys house right now.
So fuck you, and you and you. And just leave me alone.
k thanks!
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2005 21 April :: 9.14pm
:: Mood: sad
School was okay, I brought in the 2 big bag of starbursts for study hall.. we had that ice cream party today for 7 & 8 period.. I walked around half the time. 'Cuz I'm a loser like that.. then after school I had to go with my Aunt Loraine to take care of somethings.. we stoped at Toys R Us, and we bought Gabrielle some clothes.
I came home and left again, Amy and I went up to Carmel Park to see George.. we hung out.
Then we dropped Amy back off at her house then I stopped at McDonalds then came home. Now here I am.
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2005 20 April :: 10.23am
:: Mood: sad
Blahhh.. nothing's going right. I suck, I'm a loser. No wonder why no one likes me, and I have no friends. Ha.
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2005 19 April :: 5.16pm
:: Mood: blah
Ahhh Mr. Malecki is finially back so we can actually talk again in study hall.. YESSSSSSSSsssssSSSSSSS
Today was good.
I don't really have anything else to say.
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2005 18 April :: 9.03pm
TODAY- Amy, Becky, Kelly, Jake and I went to the baseball game. I went to see my best friend George play. He's the coooooooooolest guy I know.
It was a good time. ;)
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2005 17 April :: 1.03pm
:: Mood: confused
So Jim and I are just friends now.
He's trying everything to get me to come back though.
He makes me feel guilty.
But I'm not happy anymore. I haven't been for a long time.
We'll see how things go.
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2005 13 April :: 9.41pm
:: Mood: bored
Bridg picked me up at school today, then we stopped at McDonalds to get something to eat.
I went over Jims house about 6:00, then we drove out to McDonalds again to see all the teachers work.. we drove around for like an hour and a half to different places, we stopped and saw Ben he was walking somewhere.. then we went back to his house and chilled, then Gab him and I came back out here and then he went home.
BYE
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2005 12 April :: 10.01pm
:: Mood: stressed
Yesterday Aunt Loraine, Donnie, Gabrielle, Gram and I went to get the rest of my things at Darlenes house [I no longer call her Mom.] We had stopped out at the Sand Bar to see if they were there, they weren't so we went to Jays Sports Bar because Matt told us they were there. So we went there and Anna was in the front room playing a game all by her self.. Darlene George and Samamtha were on the deck. They were yelling at her because she stole something. They were both drunk off their asses, sitting there telling Samantha in front of everyone. It had to have been embarassing for her. So I asked Darlene if when I stopped at their house if I could take the crib, or if she wanted it. She was like "No, it's mine- you can't have it." I said fine. Then my Aunt Loraine tried to talk to her and Darlene started yelling at her to get out of her face, to leave her alone and all this other stuff. So she went to try to talk to George about getting the old house tore down and he told her to "shut up and leave." So we left, I gave Anna a hug, and Samantha a kiss.
We went to the house and they had bolted the door shut so I couldn't get in with my key. I called Dustin and he said that he'd just come get me today and I could get my things. On our way back through Southpointe, I saw Samantha standing outside the bar so we stopped so I could see what was wrong. She was crying and saying that she hated Darlene and that she wanted to go live with her dad. I told her that if she ever needed anything or if she wanted me to go pick her up that all she needed to do is to call me.
An hour or so later Sam called and told me that Darlene hit her. So I told her to go up and just lock herself up in the bathroom.
I no longer talk to her, or want anything to do with her. If she's going to be like that- I'll do the same right back to her and throw it in her face. She can have Gabrielles crib. I'd much rather get another one than to use ANYTHING that she's bought Gabrielle.
Today was my Uncle Dons birthday so we had a little cake and everything for her.. it was nice Greg, Tiff, Hailey, and Jim came out.
<3
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2005 9 April :: 11.28am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: three doors down - loser
Everything's just pissing me off anymore.
So my mother stopped by my Aunt Loraines house Friday to see Gabrielle and my Gram I guess. She told my Gram that she was definitely not moving back to where we were.
My Mom and George went down to Flordia for last weekend- they're looking for a house. Good, let them leave I'm probably better off without them anyways.. I'll miss my sisters Sam and Anna. But what am I going to do? I don't know.. it just pisses me off that because I moved out- my Mom won't talk to anyone on our side of the family. Yeah, GROW UP! Live in REALITY- not your own little world! But whatever- once again what can I do about it?
I just feel bad for my sisters because they still have to deal with her and all her shit she puts everyone through.
I feel so dumb because I don't have anything anymore. It's weird. We were in Child Development Friday and Mrs. Taylor was like "all of you can bring in stuffed bears" I was like "well, I don't have one" and Sarah was like "Who doesn't have one??" Uhhh-- I don't! Everything in my house had to be replaced. Lol, it made me feel bad.. I'm more worried about getting Gabrielle everything that she needs more than I'm worried about myself. So whatever, I'd rather her have everything than myself.
But enough about depressing things.. let's go on about Friday night.
Amy & Beck came to pick me up and we rode around for a little while then we went to the talent show and worked the consession stands.. after that we went back to Amy's house, then drove down to Jims house and he drove us to Wal*Mart, then his Mom called and started screaming at him because she wanted the car.. uhhh- so we went back and he dropped us off then we all went back to Amys house and watched American Pie 2 then fell asleep.. this morning Becky went home then I came back here to Amys Grams house.. I'm going home sometime tonight, going to Janies birthday party, then tomorrow I'm heading back down Cokeburg with Jim.
Gabrielle is with my Aunt Loraine.
DEFINITELY FUN WITH THE GIRLS LAST NIGHT!! HAHA
No eggs Beck! -He was sleeping?!?! YEAHHHHHHH right. Who was SAM?? ;)
Good times- no drugs! ;)
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2005 6 April :: 10.33am
:: Mood: content
I went to Jims house last night. He asked me why I was so happy.
:)
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2005 2 April :: 1.35pm
:: Mood: bored
Report cards were given out on Friday. Yeahhhhh.. anyways.
Yesterday Gabrielle turned 6 months!! We had a little cake for her, we all bought her a little toy. She's to cute.
Today Bridg, Leah and I are hanging out.. Tomorrow I'm going to Jims I guess.
I'll update later. I'm going to get a shower.
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