Summer is finally here
okay.. i kno i havent written in here like a really long time but i have been busy.. sleeping school work homework eatting nd all the other stuff.. i dnt have much time any more.. but its finally SUMMER!!! yea.. but its been kinda bored.. im trying to get christa to come out but she is never on and i dnt feel like going over house.. but i want to take a walk in the graveyard or sum thing. but you kno.. i dnt want to go by myself.. maybe she will coem out side today.. i dont thnk she will but yea..
omg.. im so confused.. i hate the word *love* i mean.. im not really sure what it means but i mean.. some times you just kno how you feel. you kno?.. but see... i REALLY sum one but i cant get this other person off my mind and i have idea what to do. yo can prolly guess who im talking about. that person you prolly dnt kno.. well thats okay... i will find out how i feel..
i wish there was really a place like neverland.. and i wish there was a boy named peter pan and really could fly.. and i wish i could be like wendy and go away to neverland.. i mean.. just to get away fom this place and never come back.. then i wont have to deal with FEELINGS.. they really suck and i cant handle it any more.. i want to die so bad.. but i dnt want to do any thing stupid to hurt any one else.. so i dnt kno.. myabe i just need to get away from this place for a while.. maybe wheni go to to the beach i could meet a boy that can make forget about every thing that is here.. in chichester.. i mean.. thats all i need.. is to meet sum that i really like and they feel the same way about me. but that will happen.. will it.. it would a dream come ture if i did.. any way im going to get going..
<3 amanda

crazy..
omg.. i kno i havent written in here in like... FOREVER... but between school work and sleeping.. there isnt much time for any thing.. but thats kewl.. i havent even turned the computer in like ever..

i didnt go to school today coz im sick.. its that just great?.. i hate being sick.. and im hott and any thing.. i think im going to a COLD shower..

my mom said that andrew came up last nite.. at like 1120.. what the hell.. i dnt kno what that boy was thing..

well im a go.. more tomorrow, maybe

bored as hell
well umm there isnt much to say.. im so bored that i did my homework and im bout to go clean up my room a little bit.. christa isnt on and its pissing me off.. im bout to say fuck her because she never wants to hang out any more.. i mean.. she was all like i miss you and stuff like that when i was down in disney and now that i came back.. i havent even seen her yet.. how werid is that.. i mean ... i would have been over the person house the day they got home.. but thats okay.. what ever.. HAPPY 4 20 people.. have a HAPPY 4 20.. blunts, bongs and bowls is all we need.. amanda, amanda brie and shannon.. g4l bbfl s4l and all that good stuff..

busy...
heyy.. i kno i havent written in here for a while but i have been so busy.. with school, work and homework i havent got a lot of time to other things.. well i can but.. this is one thing that i dnt really think about.. well.. i mean i would look at my journal and stuff.. but thats it.. well disney was fun you can read all bout it in my buddy4u.. the 9/10 was on friday.. i didnt go.. ha ha.. i didnt want to go.. i mean.. why.. there is going to be other one next year and the year after that and the year after that.. then all the dances and parties in college.. damn.. just thinking bout gives me the chilles.. im be missin my girlies.. ha ha.. NOT.. ha ha.. well ima bounce.. ttyl <3 ya amanda

disney here we come
omg i havent written in here for ever.. i have been so busy.. well okay.. not really.. i just didnt feel like wrtting in here.. HA HA.. lol.. well im going to walt disney wrold for spring break.. im so happy.. lol.. there is going to be lost of ppl there to hang out with.. lol.. well.. maybe i will meet some hot guy.. lol.. well lauren and meghan will be there.. joey will be there.. and kelli kendall carrie tara chrissy.. and lots of other ppl.. well whatever.. i dnt kno what else to write.. so im goin to go.. ima fix up the thing.. i think its boring.. lol.. well.. gotta go..

any one who knos the cell and wants to call me at any time this week go ahead and call.. i might answer..

<3 amanda

::sings:: He got friendly holding my hand.
well.. okay.. its been a long time huh??.. lol.. today is so boring.. i was hoping it would snow last nite and we would have skool today but it didnt work out.. but whatever.. i dnt really care any more.. lol.. any way.. louie and mario were fighting over the handle to a scooter.. lol.. it was so funny. lol.. any way.. i think andrew and ricky are like mad at me or sumthing coz they never come up here and hang out with me and when ever im on line they never talk to me.. i wish it was like the way it used to be.. every one wanting to hang out with me and stuff like that.. any way.. i have to take my cat to the vet this saturday at 9 AM.. i hate getting up that early but whatever.. really i dnt care.. well im going to go see if christa wants to come outside or sum thing.. <3 amanda

Haypp Valentines Day
okay.. im just writting in here coz there isnt any thing else to do.. okay. well.. yeah.. im so tired.. and im upset.. IM LONLEY ON THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE.. and its like only 19 mins. in to the day.. DAMN IT.. valentines dat is the worst.. its just a god damn day to show every one hoo has some one and hoo doesnt.. and its make people like me feel bad.. i hate it.. i wish i could make it go away.. im glad that i have christa and stef with me.. well not really with me but you know what i mean.. right??.. any way.. im so tired.. but any way.. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.. i hope that your not lonley and that your loved unlike me.. im so lonley and no ones cares about me.. and no one loves me.. i wish that some one would.. omg.. okay.. i got a pic of jon.. christas cousin.. and i gave him one to.. but he prolly thinks im UGLY like every one else.. but thats okay.. i will get over it.. lol.. like i get over every thing...well i think im going to go to sleep now.. ttyl.. more later.. maybe.. <3 amanda

i dnt wanna be lonley tomorrow
okay.. well first of all.. my cold.. im shaking.. and i was outside for like i dnt even no how long and im cold now.. lol.. any way.. i dnt wanna be alone tomorrow.. chirsta better come outisde tomorrow so we can be lonley together.. lol.. i want a valentine.. is it better to like some one and kno that you cant have them or to have them and kno that they are always there for you?? does that even make sense?.. any way.. well... ima go.. im trying to upload some pics.......

cleaning SUCKS!!!
heyy sexi.. lol.. omg.. im so hyper.. i woke up this morning and i couldnt even get out of bed.. my leg was hurting so bad.. its been hurting for like 2 days kno.. well 3.. whatever.. that dnt really matter.. its not hurting right kno.. but any way.. i watched ever after while i was eatting my food.. then i got on line and i started to download paint pro shop and it was taking for ever.. so i started cleaning up the living room.. when my mom came home she said that if i cleaned up the living room and the kitchen really good she would buy me the lion king 1 1/2.. so yeah... i have been cleaning ever since like 12:00.. it was fun though.. lol.. then i colored a cute picture.. i colored like 12 of the same picture.. coz it was really cute.. lol.. well im going to go becuase my dads going to be home soon and i have to do sum thing before i have to get off.. and this downloading better hurry up.. lol.. <3 amanda

*umm*.. its hot ouside
okay.. well.. yeah.. im so happy.. lol.. its getting warm outside.. lol.. im so happy about that.. but any way.. my life sucks.. my spanish teacher.. LEFT.. how could she.. i really likes her as a teacher.. they say that she is coming back next year.. hopfully she will teach spanish 2 and i will be in her class well any way.. lou and mario came over.. well not really.. i was sitting outside.. and they are all outside playing a game.. i wish that i was friends with them and i would help lee... but im not.. well im not sure if i am.. any way.. STRAWBERY, BANANA ABD ORGANE FLAVORED CONDOMS ARE THE BEST.. lol.. well not really banana but still.. lol.. BAGHA.. lol..

To amanda j.. i love you grl.. ur like my sister and im glad that we are friends.. i hope that we can be friends for a long time.. we really need to start chillen more.. PENIS..

To alyssa.. omg.. ur so funny.. but i still love you.. CHICKENS RULE.. lol.. im so glad that we are friends.. we need to start chillen more often.. PENIS..

To brie.. i hope that diz comes down this weekend.. i think that you need him to be there for you more then any one else.. but remember im always here for you.. and i will be LONLEY on valentines day to.. i will prolly be CRYING my eyes out all day.. and omg.. I HATE ANDREW.. i never want to fall in love again.. lol.. any way.. we need to start chillen more outside of skool.. well ttyl

To shannon B.. dnt worry bout the whole "SEX" convos.. coz i dnt really think they are going to stop any time soon.. i mean.. yeah.. lol.. any way.. im really glad the you are my friend.. out of all my friends i would say that you have been there for me throu every thing that has happened over the years.. and im always here for you.. k.. we NEED to chill out side of skool..

well.. ima go.. i have to clean my room.. still.. lol.. im not going to clean it.. rite now.. i dnt feel like it but i am going to go outside for a bit.. any one got the DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL CDS I COULD BORROW.. thanks..

pain is love
okay.. well.. let me say this.. i hate the voices inside my head.. lol.. any way.. 1st period was so funny.. me amanda and alyssa have to much fun.. i think that 1st period is going to be to much fun.. well any way.. CHICKENS!!.. lol.. amanda and alyssa here chickens and i hear voices.. lol.. omg.. there is this boy that is so werid.. he like walks down the hall and then he is running then walking.. and its so funny coz when he runs he makes werid noises.. lol.. its so werid.. well.. what else happened today? well first of all louie wasnt here today and pitzo wasnt sitting behide me and amanda in socail studies so no one was making fun of taylor.. but.. deveron is so sexi.. lol.. so is donny.. lol.. i have to go to freashman sem tomorrow.. we are watching a movie in english.. which means NO WORK.. lol.. thats kewl.. but i have to pay attention coz there is going to be a test prolly.. i hate tests.. i had a test in spanish today and i failed it coz i wasnt feeling good and my wrist was hurting so i didnt feel like taking it.. but i wrote down towo answer.. plus i didnt kno any thing coz i wasnt there on friday so i didnt kno we were going to have a test.. lol.. any way.. im failing science.. i have to try to get that up.. and im going to have to start doing the labs in there.. even if shannon and amanda dont do it.. i need to get good grades in all my classes.. soo yeah.. i dnt want to be single on 2.14.04.. i want to go out with someone.. and i dnt like andrew any more.. i think that laruen and meghan got to me.. i cant repet what they said to me coz i will get them in trouble.. nothing bad.. but you kno.. yeah.. any way.. POWER TO THE BAM SHIRTS.. lol.. im not wearing mine at the time coz i change when i was done eatting like a hour ago coz i spell water on it.. lol.. im so messy.. lol.. i have to clean my room.. and brook wants me to come outside.. im not sure if i want to.. i mean.. yeah.. i think i should be come friends with brittany.. or aleast on speaking terms.. i dnt have any thing against her.. i just dnt think that she likes me.. i mean no one really likes me.. thats why i never go outside any more... i never go out there unless some one knocks up for me.. and no one knocks up for me.. which of course to me that means no one likes me.. i cant spend any money for a while coz i have to save for disney and for the beach.. lol.. even though it is far away.. but still.. i always have to pay for my cell phone bill.. EVERY MONTH.. like 30 to 40 bucks.. DAMN.. thats a lot.. lol.. well umm yeah.. BAM is so SEXI... lol.. well im going to go.. so i can look at some sites and clean my room and listen to music.. lol.. any one want to but me Dashboard Confessionals cds?.. please.. im broke.. lol.. <3 amanda

YUMMY
okay.. i supposed to be on a diet.. yeah rite..lol.. okay.. well im not doing so well coz my mom bought some cake mix for me and now im making cup cakes to eat.. YUMMY.. i want one so bad but i have to wait till they are done.. im making 24 of them.. thata a lot.. lol.. well you kno.. im going to get really fat.. lol.. well last nite i went to the mall.. i didnt buy any thing coz i didnt ahve any money.. lol.. stefani tried on this black and white dress.. it looked really funny on her.. but in a good way.. any way.. we seen peaches chris matt and erica there... it was so funny.. me and erica tried to hid in the next dressing cubby thing but it didnt work because we couldnt stop laughing.. it was so funny.. and then matt throw a piece of gum over the wall thing and it scared us.. im surpised we didnt get in trouble.. then we couldnt find stefani.. lol.. any way.. christa is comeing over.. so i have to go.. bye..

i hate the rain.
okay.. its raining and they called for a 2 hour delay.. and im not going to skool.. im staying home and sleeping all day.. well yeah.. i have to go call my dads work.. and tell him that the lady called.. well yeah.. i need to get sum thing good to eat.. and i have to do sum things for my mom while im home.. well im going to go coz there aint any thing to do.. i love ******.. <3 amanda <3 more later

my heart has be broken to many times.
okay today is like the worst day of my life.. well first off.. i still havnt enough sleep so i feel a sleep in 2nd period and almost got wrote up coz of it.. but you kno.. i told him that i knew every thing that he was talking about and he let me go.. but still.. any way..

1st period- my amanda and alyssa were 'drwaing' the whole period.. well really we were writing little notes.. *PENIS* lol.. any way.. yeah.. we were making fun of people so bad.. but not really meaning any of it.. then we wrote this big note that said 'matt loves penis's' and we taped to the wall on the steps going up to the main floor. it was so funny..

2nd period- i feel a sleep so i dnt really kno any thing that happened.. all i kno is that mark and kevin are skatboarding after skool today.. and mark is going to boothwyn to hang with him, donny, bryan and dev..

3rd peroid- we were doing a project.. that me and tammie werent doing.. we were helping hunter.. hunters project thing is going to be the best one EVER.. lol.. any way.. DONNY looked SEXI today.. lol heather...

4th period- LUNCH.. me and amanda are so crazy.. lol.. we showed every one the papers from first period.. what else hapened? umm.. lets see.. suhshine was wearing the same shirt as me and stefani.. hopfully he dnt wear the same thing as us tomorrow.. lol.. that would be crazy.. lol.. well what else.. umm.. i cant reallly remember...

5th period- GYM SUCKS BIG BALLS.. well today jean was back and we had FUN.. lol.. we are doing this activity thing that we have to make up a dance thing and then video tape it and then we are going to watch every thing.. well its going to be fun..

6th period- louie and john are so werid.. lol.. they were talking about taylor again.. its so funny.. lol.. well umm lets see.. thats really it coz nothing happened..

7th period- science in the libary.. yeah.. thats kewl.. lol.. we have to do this career thing.. i did what we needed to do but thats it.. im not doing any more of it to nite.. amanda was being so mean to shannon.. but in a funny way.. lol..

8th period- we picked spanish names.. and we made valentine stuff.. omg.. im suprisd that i didnt cry.. lol

okay that was my day and not im going to go..

o0o yeah.. my poem is in the poetry thing.. lol.. well i got to go get so sleep.. more later.. im so fucking tired.. <3 amanda <3

why do i love him so much???
can my life be any worse? i swear. i cant it any more. i want him so much and it hurts cuz i kno that i cant have him. weell valentines day is on a saturday so i wont have to go to skool. i can stay in bed and cry.. like every other year. and i mean. i never felt this way for any one beofre. and i think that i will never feel this way for any one else. i mean. i kno that im still young but i think that im love wtih him. and i dnt mean like a love that last for about 2 months. or the kind that lasts for 2 years. the one that last FOREVER and it changes your life love. i have felt this way for so long i cant even remember when i started to fell this way. i wish that i could have my wish come true. but i kno that it wont. i cant stand it any more.

aol.. is so.. fucking.. gay.. i swear.. omg.. i feel so sick.. i cant stand this... i think that im going to hurt myself.. i cant stand this.. any more.. well ima go on a diet.. where i only eat once a day.. and thats at dinner.. so my parents see that im eatting. i will get a drink at lunch and thats it.. well i gots to go.. bye
<3 amanda <3