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AND i CANT MAKE iT ON MY OWN.
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xvivaxlabamxfanx
Emo Shits If you're going to be emo and talk to all your "friends" like they're a piece of shit, then be that way. Stop trying to make everyone feel bad for you. It got old three years ago. I don't care anymore. Every other statement out of your mouth is "no one loves me" blah blah blah. Get over it. Stop talking about yourself all the time and act like you give a shit about other people. Other people get depressed as well and sometimes maybe they want to talk about how their feeling and they don't want to hear about your shit. Get your head out of your ass and listen to them once in a while. You piss me off so much. You get angry or upset about a joke and AGAIN you pull out the "no one loves me" or "no one cares about me." Stop masturbating over people's pictures and go have a life. You're pathetic. I don't even know why I liked you in the first place. And yes, delete me when you read this, I don't give a shit. You're just another number on my list, just another screen name on my buddy list that I don't double click. Maybe I'll talk to you when you realize that other people have problems too, not just you. [/rant] Yeah whatever, hate comment the shit out of this entry, I don't care.
If I'm just bad news..
My current views on Good Charlotte Well I just finished watching Fast Future Generation (for all of you non-GC fans, that's their DVD that just came out last week) and my cry count is 4. Yes, I cried four times during it and it wasn't even that kind of DVD. No, I don't feel pathetic about it, I cried more or less because of current views on them. They're not sitting too comfortably with me right now and I feel I need to express my emotion to more people than just Steph. And also because I'm lazy and don't feel like retyping everything, I'm going to put our conversation in here (editing out what's off topic). Obviously, I'm Shine Suicide if you didn't know that already. [please don't go IMing Steph about some of the things she's said 'cause some information was from one of her friends so we're not entirely sure it's true ourselves even though I wouldn't doubt it. But please don't be retarted and leave her out of this. This is more for MY views on it since this is MY place to post stuff. Thanks] Shine Suicide (9:36:21 PM): <333 RUbYSoHo8779 (9:38:27 PM): HI! RUbYSoHo8779 (9:38:27 PM): so whatcha doin? Shine Suicide (9:39:09 PM): nothing. at all. my mom won't let me watch fast future generation until she goes to bed but i'm about to fall asleep NOW. >.< Shine Suicide (9:39:11 PM): you? RUbYSoHo8779 (9:39:30 PM): yikes! RUbYSoHo8779 (9:39:31 PM): dude i've watched it twice, they're such fuckin dorks Shine Suicide (9:39:37 PM): SHHH Shine Suicide (9:39:40 PM): dont say ANYTHING Shine Suicide (9:39:41 PM): about it RUbYSoHo8779 (9:40:15 PM): i'm kinda pissed/dumbfounded about benj getting engaged to sophie...dumbslut Shine Suicide (9:40:26 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (9:40:31 PM): she gave him coke...he's done coke with her...ew Shine Suicide (9:40:48 PM): i don't like what the twins have become Shine Suicide (9:40:59 PM): i want to go back in time and savour the good ol' days RUbYSoHo8779 (9:41:20 PM): one of my friends knows them cuz she met them at warped tour in like 2003 or somethin, and they've been friends since then RUbYSoHo8779 (9:41:41 PM): and that's what she said, but she also said that he told her it wasn't true, but 3 sources have said it Shine Suicide (9:41:53 PM): they just don't want us to know about it Shine Suicide (9:41:58 PM): but it breaks my heart RUbYSoHo8779 (9:42:02 PM): yeah Shine Suicide (9:42:10 PM): i would absolutly die if i heard billy was doing that shit too RUbYSoHo8779 (9:42:23 PM): this album better be the best album ever Shine Suicide (9:42:28 PM): yeah, really RUbYSoHo8779 (9:42:36 PM): no i think he's only smoked weed, she hasn't said he's done what benj does Shine Suicide (9:42:59 PM): good charlottes been like, my life support and i'm on the verge of giving up on them.. RUbYSoHo8779 (9:43:25 PM): she said benj hurt his foot and got pain pills for it, and joel walked in on him one day taking them and he asked him if he was in pain and benj said no and she said joel started yelling at him and telling him he's wasting his life Shine Suicide (9:43:26 PM): i miss the old days when benji and joel were single and wishing that they had girlfriends and sang about heartache and shit RUbYSoHo8779 (9:43:45 PM): yeah now what do they sing about? everything they sing about they're doing themselves Shine Suicide (9:43:54 PM): guns and knives RUbYSoHo8779 (9:43:58 PM): they have the lifestyles of the rich and famous RUbYSoHo8779 (9:44:09 PM): yeah cuz they're hangin around thugs in LA Shine Suicide (9:44:35 PM): i wouldn't be surprised if there's like, a hard core rap song on the album that makes me throw up Shine Suicide (9:44:43 PM): it's bad enough that it's getting harder to look at them RUbYSoHo8779 (9:45:05 PM): there was supposed to be a song with The Game, but they scrapped it and they're not putting it on the album...or so i heard Shine Suicide (9:45:13 PM): they better not Shine Suicide (9:45:28 PM): they need to go back to hanging out with sxe punk bands Shine Suicide (9:45:40 PM): not druggie piece of shit rappers with food in their grillz RUbYSoHo8779 (9:45:40 PM): yeah RUbYSoHo8779 (9:45:45 PM): lol Shine Suicide (9:45:47 PM): =] RUbYSoHo8779 (9:46:02 PM): i kinda like Game, i think he's cute RUbYSoHo8779 (9:46:07 PM): and he doesn't have a grill Shine Suicide (9:46:13 PM): i'm talking in general RUbYSoHo8779 (9:46:17 PM): yeah i know Shine Suicide (9:48:08 PM): so anyway Shine Suicide (9:48:15 PM): what's that about billy and weed? RUbYSoHo8779 (9:49:34 PM): that's all he's ever done, she says...same with paul. he smokes cigs like a chimney, drinks beer, and smokes pot, but no hard drugs. RUbYSoHo8779 (9:50:12 PM): that all still bothers me though, i mean who are we to tell them what to do in their personal private lives, but they're starting to sing about one thing, and then do another, or sing about things that they never used to give a shit about RUbYSoHo8779 (9:50:26 PM): like in kyhomg Shine Suicide (9:50:30 PM): that's exactly how i feel Shine Suicide (9:51:02 PM): even if it's "just weed" it still hurts because I know what that shit does to people *points to my mom* and it breaks my heart to know that the person I look up to also does it RUbYSoHo8779 (9:52:20 PM): they used to be the reason i stayed off drugs and drinking, cuz i knew that they did it in their past but they stopped, and look how far they've gotten...they're doing exactly what i want to do as a career and i used to think that staying off drugs was the only way i'd be able to focus on my music and shit. and now they have so much money that they have nothing left to spend it on but drugs Shine Suicide (9:52:50 PM): and they seem to be neglecting the fans a lot more RUbYSoHo8779 (9:52:58 PM): yeah Shine Suicide (9:53:14 PM): even though they had the meet and greets and came out after the show, they're kind of withdrawling RUbYSoHo8779 (9:53:31 PM): just watch FFG and think about what Joel says about hollywood and famous people in the cab, then think about what they're doing now, how they live and shit. Shine Suicide (9:53:47 PM): they seem like "oh great.. ANOTHER fan wants a picture and an autograph, will it ever stop?" RUbYSoHo8779 (9:53:53 PM): yeah benj didn't come out cuz he was with sophie, or my nickname for her "aussie coke whore" RUbYSoHo8779 (9:54:12 PM): yeah they should be happy we STILL want their pictures and autographs after how many years? Shine Suicide (9:54:21 PM): exactly! Shine Suicide (9:54:50 PM): whatever happened to it being about the fans? I mean okay, they put off the album 'cause it wasn't right and they wanted something better for the fans.. but they don't act like it RUbYSoHo8779 (9:55:32 PM): yeah the 2 year break that they took was spent doing stupid DJing crap at shitty LA clubs and hanging out doing drugs with rappers and shit RUbYSoHo8779 (9:56:12 PM): i want this album right now. march is too fucking far Shine Suicide (9:56:16 PM): at least they were still recording, but it's also fucked up that they would just do whatever they wanted while billy and paul just sat over there *points over there* waiting RUbYSoHo8779 (9:56:36 PM): i want to hear this shit they've been saving for us to make it "better" for us Shine Suicide (9:56:54 PM): yeah, i want to see what's so great about it RUbYSoHo8779 (9:56:58 PM): yeah i haven't heard anything about what billy and paul were doing during their little break Shine Suicide (9:57:20 PM): i think billy and paul should go start their own project to work on when the twins are being retarted RUbYSoHo8779 (9:57:32 PM): the best one i've heard so far is misery, like the full version of it RUbYSoHo8779 (9:57:43 PM): the river kinda pisses me off, like they're doing "sinful" things, and in the river they're like asking for forgiveness for it Shine Suicide (9:57:50 PM): i like the sound of the river, but i'm sick of all the religious shit RUbYSoHo8779 (9:57:54 PM): which is 24/7 RUbYSoHo8779 (9:58:37 PM): yeah me too, and i'm a little on the religous side myself... Shine Suicide (9:59:14 PM): well to me, it just feels like they're trying to push it onto us when they're not even doing the "right" thing in the eyes of god Shine Suicide (9:59:40 PM): like, they want us to be something but they don't provide the right example of it RUbYSoHo8779 (9:59:58 PM): i mean it's like "hi we're gonna ignore our fans and claim that we're making a better album for them that's why we're pushing it back so far, but really we're just doing coke with whores and being hypocrites" Shine Suicide (10:00:20 PM): *while wasting all our recording time DJing in clubs RUbYSoHo8779 (10:01:20 PM): yeah they don't exactly do "the right thing" themselves so how can they expect us too? RUbYSoHo8779 (10:01:20 PM): yeah Shine Suicide (10:01:55 PM): like, they know that they're role modles and that all their fans look up to them, and they STILL put out the worst of their image RUbYSoHo8779 (10:02:03 PM): yep Shine Suicide (10:02:08 PM): i'm hoping this DVD will help change my mind at LEAST until the album comes out RUbYSoHo8779 (10:03:53 PM): i mean yes the fans are getting older and we don't need "role models" so much anymore cuz we're pretty grown up now, but it still bothers me that i've looked up to them for so long, they've been my whole reason for believing what i believe and wanting to do what they do as a career, but then to find out that they're fucking around with drugs like coke only since they've moved to LA really kills me RUbYSoHo8779 (10:04:31 PM): just pay really close attention to what joel says in the cab when he's talking to marvin jarrett about hollywood...way hypocritical of him now Shine Suicide (10:04:36 PM): what ever happened to East Coast Riders? RUbYSoHo8779 (10:04:39 PM): dunno Shine Suicide (10:04:47 PM): yeah, i read his quote on the boards Shine Suicide (10:05:10 PM): he's a hyppocrite (if i'm using that in the right context) RUbYSoHo8779 (10:05:17 PM): yes you are Shine Suicide (10:05:45 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (10:05:59 PM): are you watching it now or later? Shine Suicide (10:06:27 PM): i'm about to put it in, but i didn't want to stop our conversation RUbYSoHo8779 (10:06:45 PM): no go watch it, then COME BACK and talk to me if you're not dead asleep Shine Suicide (10:07:08 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (10:07:32 PM): i'm gonna go chill with my family for a bit, they're watching jackass i think Shine Suicide (10:07:49 PM): oh, i was gonna say you put it on too so if i have to comment, you'll know exactly where i'm at RUbYSoHo8779 (10:08:16 PM): oh i pretty much know it all by heart right now Shine Suicide (10:08:23 PM): =P loser RUbYSoHo8779 (10:08:27 PM): hehe RUbYSoHo8779 (10:08:46 PM): k go watch them be fuckheads! Shine Suicide (10:09:11 PM): allright, do you want me to IM you during it, or completely after? RUbYSoHo8779 (10:09:20 PM): you can during if you want to RUbYSoHo8779 (10:09:35 PM): like if you see them being TOTAL shitheads, you can go "WTF!" Shine Suicide (10:09:41 PM): lol ok *this is where I put it on* Shine Suicide (10:30:07 PM): lmfao, the part where benji was talking (sitting next to paul) then the lady starts going off in japanese and he has this "wtf" look on his face.. priceless RUbYSoHo8779 (10:32:27 PM): yeah he's really a dork in this RUbYSoHo8779 (10:32:36 PM): wait till he yells at the computer RUbYSoHo8779 (10:32:38 PM): like me Shine Suicide (10:32:54 PM): shhhhhhhhh RUbYSoHo8779 (10:33:02 PM): i don't like that it's edited though, like the language Shine Suicide (10:33:14 PM): really? ew thats gay RUbYSoHo8779 (10:33:27 PM): yeah, like their fans are 5 or something Shine Suicide (10:33:31 PM): lol Shine Suicide (10:39:07 PM): that editing was fucked up, i have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT THEY JUST SAID! arrrrgh fuckers. Shine Suicide (10:39:35 PM): they need to learn how to use that nifty parental advisory sticker Shine Suicide (10:47:54 PM): i'm just gonna keep throwing my side notes out here for when you get back. "fashion is about adapting something to who you are" so what.. MADE is going to start having pot leafs on it? RUbYSoHo8779 (10:49:58 PM): hhehehehee RUbYSoHo8779 (10:50:02 PM): omfg i love you Shine Suicide (10:50:14 PM): <3 RUbYSoHo8779 (10:51:11 PM): what part are you at now? Shine Suicide (10:51:30 PM): they just examined the dudes car and they're putting clothes on Auto response from RUbYSoHo8779 (10:51:30 PM): "Stefani" (10:48:24 PM):"fashion is about adapting something to who you are" so what.. MADE is going to start having pot leafs on it? Shine Suicide (10:51:33 PM): elevator Shine Suicide (10:51:45 PM): car RUbYSoHo8779 (10:51:45 PM): oh Shine Suicide (10:52:40 PM): dj name RUbYSoHo8779 (10:52:52 PM): hehe RUbYSoHo8779 (10:52:52 PM): DJ Tanner.... Shine Suicide (10:52:57 PM): yea Shine Suicide (10:53:31 PM): i want the fucking jap version of this song [predictable] Shine Suicide (10:53:32 PM): NOW RUbYSoHo8779 (10:53:37 PM): haha RUbYSoHo8779 (10:53:42 PM): jap? haha Shine Suicide (10:53:47 PM): yea Shine Suicide (10:53:50 PM): i love me some japs RUbYSoHo8779 (10:53:59 PM): BAHHAHAHHAHAA Shine Suicide (10:58:45 PM): joel "i can't identify with 'shaking that ass' " benji "I DO!" RUbYSoHo8779 (10:59:13 PM): yeah...i definitely like joel a little more for saying that though Shine Suicide (10:59:18 PM): yeah me too RUbYSoHo8779 (10:59:22 PM): haha benj is a punk ass Shine Suicide (10:59:29 PM): it made me chuckle Shine Suicide (10:59:39 PM): HAHA Shine Suicide (10:59:45 PM): "motivating people to lose weight" Shine Suicide (10:59:47 PM): >.< RUbYSoHo8779 (10:59:48 PM): yeah RUbYSoHo8779 (10:59:53 PM): paul is my hero Shine Suicide (10:59:58 PM): lmao me too Shine Suicide (11:01:08 PM): joel wants more.. what more could they fucking get? they had a meaningful song in the top 10.. HELLO Hold On you dumbshit. RUbYSoHo8779 (11:01:22 PM): yeah Shine Suicide (11:01:23 PM): i want to smack him now RUbYSoHo8779 (11:01:26 PM): yeah RUbYSoHo8779 (11:01:45 PM): nothing is ever enough, he's like a perfectionist and he wants to be the best... RUbYSoHo8779 (11:01:59 PM): he doesn't realize that to so many of us, they are Shine Suicide (11:02:08 PM): "i want to be remembered for something" blah blah blah. HOW ABOUT STOPPING 90% OF YOUR FANS FROM COMMITING SUICIDE?? RUbYSoHo8779 (11:02:29 PM): yeah that was a retarded statement Shine Suicide (11:02:33 PM): mhmm RUbYSoHo8779 (11:02:47 PM): has he forgotten the past like....5 years? Shine Suicide (11:02:55 PM): drugs = yes RUbYSoHo8779 (11:02:59 PM): haha RUbYSoHo8779 (11:03:04 PM): that's so dumb Shine Suicide (11:03:11 PM): he's dumb Shine Suicide (11:04:20 PM): handle it better.. YEAH FUCKING RIGHT.. how about you handle it better than you do and actually DO SHIT FOR THE FANS AND NOT YOURSELF. biggest band in the world, BULLSHIT that will NEVER happen 'cause 70% of the world already hates good charlotte RUbYSoHo8779 (11:04:37 PM): yeah RUbYSoHo8779 (11:04:54 PM): actually i think it's just the US 70% that hates them Shine Suicide (11:05:12 PM): knows what a famous person should act like or say.. oh my god don't even get me fucking started on that statement RUbYSoHo8779 (11:05:17 PM): a lot of other countries aren't like us, they like them a lot RUbYSoHo8779 (11:05:19 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (11:05:23 PM): yeah RUbYSoHo8779 (11:05:57 PM): his girlfriend just got arrested for driving BACKWARDS DOWN THE FREEWAY while STONED AND ON PAINKILLERS! Shine Suicide (11:06:06 PM): dear lord RUbYSoHo8779 (11:06:29 PM): and i don' tlike her cuz she doesn't have a career plus he doesn't need to be around people like that Shine Suicide (11:06:38 PM): exactly RUbYSoHo8779 (11:07:06 PM): i read somewhere that he was glad to be done with hilary cuz he didn't want anymore drama...THEN DON'T FUCKIN DATE NICOLE RICHIE YOU FUCKTARD! Shine Suicide (11:07:17 PM): hah true RUbYSoHo8779 (11:07:50 PM): every video of her is of her covering up her face while paparazzi snap away, and all that shit she does is DRAMA! Shine Suicide (11:08:01 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (11:08:20 PM): i don't get him/them at all Shine Suicide (11:08:28 PM): same here RUbYSoHo8779 (11:08:34 PM): benj too, cuz he's been dating sophie for like 3 months, and now they're engaged? Shine Suicide (11:08:43 PM): that's fucked up RUbYSoHo8779 (11:08:54 PM): can't wait to see how long they last....i'm betting on less than a year Shine Suicide (11:09:08 PM): sheah, really RUbYSoHo8779 (11:09:18 PM): she'll get pregnant with coke babies Shine Suicide (11:09:24 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (11:09:30 PM): i can see it coming Shine Suicide (11:09:40 PM): and if she gets pregnant, she probably wont stop doing it RUbYSoHo8779 (11:10:34 PM): everyone will be all "benji where's your blushing bride?" and he'll have to say "she's not blushing anymore, she's SNOW WHITE! and her and the baby are in the ICU at Cedar Sinai Hospital cuz the baby is underweight" Shine Suicide (11:10:50 PM): yeah really Shine Suicide (11:10:51 PM): lmao RUbYSoHo8779 (11:12:09 PM): i fucking hate how they act like they're all for us, and then they put out a DVD of them totally raving about Japanese fans, saying how they get so excited and they have so much energy, when they could totally say the same damn thing about us! we freak the fuck out when they tour Shine Suicide (11:12:26 PM): yeah really Shine Suicide (11:12:37 PM): but these candid shots of japan just make me want to move there even more RUbYSoHo8779 (11:13:12 PM): yeah it is a pretty cool place, but so is new york and parts of philly and LA itself aside from the wannabe celebrities.... RUbYSoHo8779 (11:13:29 PM): LA has so much history, like Hollywood is the coolest place i've ever been Shine Suicide (11:13:42 PM): but japan is different, everone there is unique and they're all about being themselves and i love it RUbYSoHo8779 (11:13:56 PM): yeah that is pretty cool RUbYSoHo8779 (11:14:15 PM): i just don't like how since they've moved to hollywood they've forgotten about us little freaks.. RUbYSoHo8779 (11:14:29 PM): and i mean freak in the nicest way possible Shine Suicide (11:14:49 PM): like, everyone here is just jealous of what everyone else has and they want it all but in japan they're cool just being wrapped up in funky patterns and being original and not trying to be someone else RUbYSoHo8779 (11:15:03 PM): yeah i really admire that Shine Suicide (11:15:24 PM): and yeah, that was THE first thing that pissed me off about them before i heard about all this drug shit. "east coast till the day we die" welp.. they aren't dead, so what the fuck happened? RUbYSoHo8779 (11:15:34 PM): yeah Shine Suicide (11:15:52 PM): and i'm only like, 40 minutes into this dvd and i've cried twice RUbYSoHo8779 (11:15:59 PM): they moved to LA now they're throwing up west gang signs and shit RUbYSoHo8779 (11:16:07 PM): i only cried once Shine Suicide (11:16:15 PM): i'm not even half way through Shine Suicide (11:16:20 PM): -_- Shine Suicide (11:16:21 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (11:17:04 PM): i just wish they'd move back to maryland, or at least stop dating LA girls or doing stupid club shit out there, wasting their time Shine Suicide (11:17:11 PM): yeah RUbYSoHo8779 (11:17:24 PM): i mean you take breaks to relax, and doing that shit is like a 2nd job RUbYSoHo8779 (11:17:57 PM): everytime i hear about joel doing a new DJ set at some club, i'm like "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ALBUM! I WANT IT NOW!" Shine Suicide (11:18:16 PM): yeah! right man.. gimme gimme gimme RUbYSoHo8779 (11:18:26 PM): they've had long enough Shine Suicide (11:18:39 PM): way too long Shine Suicide (11:23:06 PM): O.O FUCK PEARL JAM. RUbYSoHo8779 (11:23:13 PM): YEAH! RUbYSoHo8779 (11:23:45 PM): he's an old bitter guy who's band hasn't sold SHIT in like 10 years Shine Suicide (11:23:59 PM): lmao yeah really so he needs to shut his mouth Shine Suicide (11:27:31 PM): ROTFLMFAO Shine Suicide (11:27:40 PM): "if starbucks made a patch, i'd so buy it" RUbYSoHo8779 (11:27:43 PM): haha Shine Suicide (11:27:45 PM): <333 RUbYSoHo8779 (11:27:49 PM): yeah he's a silly ass Shine Suicide (11:28:01 PM): that just completed my love for starbucks Shine Suicide (11:28:02 PM): <3 Shine Suicide (11:28:57 PM): as in the "i'm now complete, or whole" type way, not "complete" as in finished RUbYSoHo8779 (11:29:07 PM): k Shine Suicide (11:29:25 PM): awh joel sneezed that was cute Shine Suicide (11:30:12 PM): yeah.. i know something you can shoot into your arm to stop you from drinking starbucks. why don't you liquify the shit you do and shoot that up there RUbYSoHo8779 (11:30:20 PM): yeah my friend cait thought it was gross, she was like "i would have at least sneezed into my shirt so my germs wouldn't go everywhere" Shine Suicide (11:30:30 PM): lol RUbYSoHo8779 (11:30:35 PM): haha NO! NO LIQUIFYING ANYTHING AND SHOOTIN UP ANYTHING! RUbYSoHo8779 (11:30:41 PM): how bout that? Shine Suicide (11:30:43 PM): he probably has Shine Suicide (11:30:58 PM): i don't doubt anything anymore RUbYSoHo8779 (11:31:35 PM): how bout we finish the album and then put it out and then tour and then make all the fans forget what stupid pricks we were on our break.... Shine Suicide (11:32:02 PM): well the album IS finished.. they're just getting it ready and shit Shine Suicide (11:32:09 PM): there better be another fucking meet and greet RUbYSoHo8779 (11:32:19 PM): ugh Shine Suicide (11:32:19 PM): i need to yell at them that their fansite is crap RUbYSoHo8779 (11:32:19 PM): yeah and we better get pictures WITH them! RUbYSoHo8779 (11:32:26 PM): lol Shine Suicide (11:32:27 PM): that too RUbYSoHo8779 (11:32:52 PM): AND BENJAMIN BETTER SPEAK TO ME OR I'LL HAVE HIS BALLS IN A SLING! Shine Suicide (11:33:00 PM): lmao Shine Suicide (11:33:22 PM): they have all this fucking money now and they're being given all this shit for free... Shine Suicide (11:33:31 PM): MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE A FREE TOUR OR SOMETHING. RUbYSoHo8779 (11:33:32 PM): yeah ain't that the life... RUbYSoHo8779 (11:33:42 PM): BEST IDEA I EVER HEARD! Shine Suicide (11:33:43 PM): give something back to the fans Shine Suicide (11:34:02 PM): BUT they have to prove that they're fans 'cause a free show, all the haters in the world might take that oppertunity RUbYSoHo8779 (11:34:25 PM): i mean the prices aren't that bad for their tickets, my dad paid 95 bucks for me to see christina aguilera in april, but her show is like a SHOW! it has a circus theme and costume changes and shit Shine Suicide (11:34:34 PM): lol Shine Suicide (11:35:12 PM): i don't care.. people have to pay for transportation and shit and merchandise. some fans dont even have the 25 bucks to go RUbYSoHo8779 (11:35:20 PM): that sucks Shine Suicide (11:35:28 PM): it's called being poor RUbYSoHo8779 (11:35:54 PM): i know...i used to be poor before i moved to where i live now Shine Suicide (11:49:14 PM): benjis so short <3 RUbYSoHo8779 (11:49:55 PM): yeah...i never really realized how much shorter he was than joel until that one shot in the beginning where they're walking next to each other with their backs turned to the camera Shine Suicide (11:50:05 PM): lol Shine Suicide (12:16:44 AM): my cry count is now up to 4 So yeah, it really didn't change my view much. Maybe the album will. But until then, I don't have that much respect for Benji and Joel at the moment. Oh and if you actually read all that, could you please comment and tell me? I know it's long, I want to know who actually read through it. And I'm going to throw some Good Charlotte lyrics back in their face..
..it's.obsecene.and.it's.green.and.it's.automatic.. So are you cunning now? So wow.. this week had WAY too many ups and downs. I hung out with Tiff and we make pretty thingys. I got pissed at my asst. manager before I even started my shift the one day, I went out to the car and thought about just going home.. but I need the money. The I hung out with Eric.. he set is car on fire.. lmfao. AND THEN he locked his fucking keys in the car.. WITH IT RUNNING! Then I saw Tiff at her work. Yesterday.. I went to get my check, and go cash it.. and the fucking bank won't cash my check because I'm 18. The account type I have supposedly won't allow me to cash a check until my mom comes in a takes her name off of my account. EVEN THOUGH I cashed a check last week.. while I was 18. Then I called Eric to see if he could get some money for me.. and he took forever to get it up to me.. I thought he was never coming. And at one point during my BORINGASS shift..(I seriously wanted to go home from bordom).. I saw this kid in my work.. leather jacket, short black hair, OVERLY tight spandex jeans.. I ran up to Ann and was like "OH MY GOD, That kid back there, see him?, he looks JUST like the lead singer of the Pink Spiders.. put him in a pink and black striped shirt and that's so him. But he looks too young to be him.. I dunno. I doubt it's him.. he said they never even heard of this mall since their from like, Tennessee." So I got over it after he left.. and then.. I see another person come in. This black glasses.. and not the most attractive kid on the block. I stared at him.. with that "I think I know you" look. He caught my eye and was like "Where's your country section?" I point to the last isle and say "Right over there" and I turn to Pete and I'm like "That looks like the drummer from the pink spiders.. what the fuck. He's got the glasses..." so I convince him to walk over to him and ask.. but as Pete's walking towards him, he leaves. So I run to the punk section and grab the Teenage Graffiti cd and show Pete the picture. I point to the drummer "That's who was just in our store.. and *points to Matt* that was the other one that was in here earlier.. it HAS to be them.." I ran to the back to get my digital camera from my bag. Then there were some girls in line buying Teenage Graffiti, and went up to them "Is that REALLY them?" and all of the girls are like "YEAH!! Do you have a sharpie?" and I was like "All we have here are regular pens.. sorry.." And I was talking to the one girl who wasn't in line.. and I told her that she should try and find them and tell them to come in here again. So she leaves, and then a little later I see them all walk by and look in, and I'm just staring at them.. I turn around to make it look like I'm doing work and I turn back around and they're walking in. Matt went over to look at a DVD rack and I walk towards him.. I say "Excuse me.. Pink Spiders?" and his eyes just light up. I go "Hi! I'm Stefani, we met in October but I doubt you remember.. it was a the Good Charlotte show.." and I explained how only my picture with Jon turned out and asked if I could get one with him.. we took three 'cause Pete didn't know how to take pictures and Matt was like "We'll keep taking it until it's right!" I tried to get Matt to remeber who I was.. I told him how in October, I bought their CD from him and he taught me how to open it, and I was like "Jeeze, I work in a music store too and you taught me how to open a cd. Yeah, do you guys know the Concord Mall in Delaware?" and he's all "We don't know anything around here..hah" and I was like "Oh.. 'cause I was going to say.. you guys should come visit me there *nudges his arm* I work at FYE" (NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN). He was like "That was a while ago wasn't it?" and I said "Yeah, October 20th.. I had red hair then.." he goes "Ohh.." and then I said "Yeah.. I was making fun of your merch guy for looking like the singer from Fall Out Boy.. and he had never heard of Fall Out Boy.." and he gave me one of those "That sounds familiar.. but I've seen so many fans since then.." kind of looks. I said "That's allright, don't hurt yourself. Thanks sooo much for the picture and it was great seeing you guys again" then my asst Manager was all "GET BACK TO WORK" and I said "I AM" (with emphasis, and little loud 'cause the girls staking the Pink Spiders were talking loudly). He comes up to me and was like "I don't want that snotty ass attitude, I tell you to do something, I want you to do it. Next time you do something like that, I'm writing you up." Yeah, next time. That's why he wrote me up for that time, because I supposedly yelled at him. Wtf. I was too shy to go over and talk to the other guys.. I don't know why.. probably because it wasn't in a normal "where you meet bands" setting (aka, their shows). Now at the show, I left the line to buy GC merch to go meet them. But here, I was just walking around and was even too shy to ask if they wanted help. >.<
3 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
..don't you fake it.. more taken into myself.. and my stomach aches are even coming back too. I hated this feeling then.. and I hate it even more now. I was hungry yesterday until I sat down at the table with my food. Then I felt sick. Just like when I was a freshman. If I didn't want mac and cheese so bad, I wouldn't have eaten. Tiffy came over yesterday and I had soooo much fun. I wish I could have that much fun everyday. We made pretty things and now I have lotsa bracelets. One says "FUCK" haha. <3 I work tonight 'till 10:30.. that's uaually when I try to go to bed.. so I'm going to be a zombie tomorrow, just like today.. JUST LIKE 9TH GRADE. But back then, I didn't go to bed everynight 'till like.. 3am. I hope I don't turn into that again. Music has been fucking boring me lately. I need something WAY heavier than The Pink Spiders right now.. I want the 18 Visions CDs that I don't have (I only have Obsession, if someone wants to buy one of the others for me for xmas). And if you know any heavy bands that don't scream every line in every song, burn me a cd or something? I want something to sing to, but the shit I have is too fucking slow. Some indy-goth music would be nice. I don't know.. something more than pop-punk. I'm so BORED with everything. I want to buy a screenprinting kit. Then I can make my own shirts. That would be nice. And I'm going to buy beads too, then I can make bracelets for Tiffy and pay her back for all the beads I took.. specially the "E"s. Hahaa CRAZY MONKEY FACE. Arrrnh. *yawn* I don't want to go to work today.. I want to go home.. get in my bed.. and not wake up until tomorrow. "Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end"
Yepp, it's going on myspace.. AND ON HERE!! First off, the sad thing is that someone would go out of their way to even make this screenname. And I had been away from my computer since 5:50pm and returned at 8:00pm to see this. It made me laugh. You're so cute when you're ugly. ROBhatesscheck (7:12:33 PM): hi Auto response from Shine Suicide (7:12:33 PM): It's in our nature to destroy ourselves It's in our nature to kill ourselves It's in our nature to to kill each other It's in our nature to kill kill KILL!! ROBhatesscheck (7:12:45 PM): Youre fat ROBhatesscheck (7:12:46 PM): youre ugly ROBhatesscheck (7:12:49 PM): you suck ROBhatesscheck (7:12:54 PM): go kill yourself ROBhatesscheck (7:13:16 PM): zack and chris dont like you.. so stop thinking that theyre just using you ROBhatesscheck (7:13:28 PM): youre annoying ROBhatesscheck (7:13:46 PM): youre gay and emo ROBhatesscheck (7:14:03 PM): rob NEVER liked you.. still dont... so stop lying about it ROBhatesscheck (7:14:13 PM): your hair looks like shit ROBhatesscheck (7:14:17 PM): you smell ROBhatesscheck (7:14:21 PM): ..like shit ROBhatesscheck (7:14:36 PM): you have a tattoo on your fatty bulgy neck ROBhatesscheck (7:14:49 PM): youre the only whale with legs ROBhatesscheck (7:15:21 PM): you look like a fat smurf ROBhatesscheck (7:15:38 PM): people are only nice to you so that you stop whining ROBhatesscheck (7:16:03 PM): ..thats why nobody really showed up to youre party ROBhatesscheck (7:16:16 PM): youre so strong you can drink peanut butter ROBhatesscheck (7:16:29 PM): ..or gargle peanut butter ROBhatesscheck (7:17:16 PM): thats why youre fish kept dying.. they were sick of your emo bullshit ROBhatesscheck (7:17:47 PM): THATS WHY YOURE GOING TO PUT THIS ON MYSPACE...cause you have no like... or friends that care about you ROBhatesscheck (7:18:02 PM): life* ROBhatesscheck (7:18:04 PM): oops ROBhatesscheck (7:18:24 PM): youre fat got in the way of my keyboard ROBhatesscheck (7:18:51 PM): that tv show lost... YOURE making the people dissappear!!! ROBhatesscheck (7:19:28 PM): you have more than one chin ROBhatesscheck (7:19:47 PM): you have more chins than a chinease phone book
17 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
Latley.. Lately I've been feeling like I've been more or less watching my life as it happens instead of living it. I'm going to try and explain this and I want to know if it's just me, or if other people feel this way.. I feel as though after things happen, they didn't really happen. Like, when I went home after seeing Good Charlotte on the 20th, the only proof that I had that it happened was my autographed shirt, my ticket stub, my merch and my memories. But I didn't feel like I was really there. But I said to myself that it was probably because I had seen Good Charlotte soooo many times that it wasn't as moving as the first time I saw them. But then I said to myself that that idea is just full of sh*it 'cause seeing GC is always moving no matter what. But it didn't feel like it this time. I then thought that maybe it's because I'm in the mindset that "They're just people too" (what I tell myself before I am or think I am going to meet famous people.. GC, Dresden Dolls..). Like, meeting them was just "whatever" for me. It's done, it's over with. It's not like they're going to remember me, or even talk to me on myspace now since we've met. They've met so many people that I'm just another number, another face in the crowd. I feel insignificant to them, like they wouldn't notice if I stopped being a fan. I know this sounds horrible, but this is how I've been feeling lately. I'll never stop being a Good Charlotte or Dresden Dolls fan, and I think meeting them has made my respect and passion for them grow that much more, but that doesn't change how I feel. I feel as though I'm just sitting in a chair, watching my body do everything, but I'm not really doing it. Like, I'm telling people how my tattoo felt when I got it done.. but I don't remember it anymore. I remember what I first told someone right after I got it, and that's what I go on to tell other people. I know that's how it felt, but I don't feel like what I'm saying is right. Even in like, math class.. I'll know the answer so I raise my hand and as soon as he calls on me I question myself and ask if 2+2 really does equals 4. (Okay, so the math isn't that simple, but that's how simple it is to me for these answers that I get) I wonder why 2+2 = 4 and not F. Or why "math" is spelled "m-a-t-h" and not "e-5-g-a". Like, what made certain letters certain letters? Why do some letters go together to make a word, and others don't? I guess you could say that I've been "beside myself" lately.. in technical terms. I feel as though the real me that's doing everything is next to me and I'm just watching. The only way to feel alive to me, is to feel pain.. physical pain. That's probably the explanation of why I have so many piercings, and the tattoo (which didn't even hurt as bad as my criss cross industrial). I don't know... there's a lot more examples but I'll stop here since I've typed too much and I need to go to bed. It's 2:30 am. Thanks for reading this, if you did. Comments//Replies//Advice would be appreciated but not nessecary.
Woody's 11/15 - 11/16 So I went to my first gay club last night. When we finally got there (after Eric kept going the wrong way down ONE WAY streets), all we did was sit for like, an hour and a half.. we got in around 11:30pm. But oh my god.. some people came in and all I saw was this poufy-ish blonde hair and big thick ass glasses walk in and I said to Eric "Napolean Dynamite, much?" and he looks and goes "OH MY GOD. THAT'S JOSH WILLIAMS!" I said "You're fucking kidding me!!!" He seriously looked like Napolean Dynamite walked through a rainbow. All I want to know is when the hell did asshole Josh turn into a fucking flamer? He used to be semi-cool and had a decent sense of style... I guess he changed after graduation.. like, MAJORLY. Okay so now that I'm done talking about him. lol, Will promised me that when he came back in from his second cigarette that he would make us dance (I wanted to, but Eric was being emo). So he comes in, grabs my hand and drags me onto the dance floor. Lemme tell you, this man can dance like there's no fucking tomorrow. Oh it was soooooo much fun. Then we went over to the steps that were in there, and me and Will start dancing there, eventually we end up on the top step dancing. His friend had taken his shirt off so I made Will take his off. Then some random person video taped us three dancing up there. There was a Canadian guy next to me and he looked down at me, and then covered his eyes and said "I'm not looking!!" [at my chest]. I said "oh, hunny, that's why they're out!!" and he pointed to them and said "Can I?" I shook my head yes and he shoved his face in them. Hah! I hooked Eric up with some kid we met outside. He was wearing a Good Charlotte hoodie so I started talking to him. Then I got him to dance with us and he was ALL over Eric. Me and Will kept shouting "MAKE OUT WITH HIM ALREADY" then afterwards we sent Eric to go with him to his apartment. Supposedly nothing happened, but Will, his friend, and I walked around Philly 'til 2:30am. Then we called him 'cause we had to go home. I didn't get in until like, 3:15am. But it was all good. Will wants to go clubbing now every week. As much as I want to.. I have a job.. and it depends if I'm off, and if my mom allows it. Time for school. Talk to you all later. <3
Tattoo!!!! Going to Woodie's tonight. *dances*
Happy Birthday To Me!!! Birthday!!! I came to school and got sent home before I even went to class =[ I had something in my eyeball, and it hurt to close my eye so I went to the nurse for eyedrops. But she said that at the rate my eye was watering up, whatever was in there should have washed out. She looked in my eye and there was nothing there. So she sent me home to go to the eye doctors. By the time I got there, whatever hurt really bad was out of my eye, but it was still irritated. The lady looked at my eye under the microscope and said I have an abrasion on my eye and to use the eyedrops she gave me every 2 hours or so. It's been almost three since I came back to school and I left the drops in the car. But I'll do it as soon as I get in the car at 2:15. Had a party at my lunch table.. chips, soda, FULL cake. Birthday candles, lit, and everyone singing. The whole works. It was one of my best days at lunch. But Mark Elliot kept staring over at me and I don't know why =/ Not in a bad way or whatever, but whenever I would look at Zack Sylvest, or past him, I would see Mark staring at me behind Zack's head. No evil looks, just staring. It was weird. Oh well. Going out to buy 18 year old stuff today. Ciggs, porn (some for a younger friend of mine), and lotto ticket (I have a coupon). I hope my cousin got over her little flu yesterday so she can take me for my tattoo. If not, my mom's taking me up to Northern Lights for it, but I really want it done at Studio One. And if I can't get my tattoo today, I'll go up to Granite Run Mall and get my tounge pierced. If I do get the tattoo, then I'll get the tounge later. Possibly going to Woodie's with Eric and Will tomorrow night. Then I have to work Thursday, so I'm going to be dead. Oh well.. Later!
Eighteen Years Old. Wow.. The Perks: a. I can legally purchase cigarettes. b. I can legally purchase porn/hentai. c. I can legally purchase lottery tickets. d. I can get into 18+ clubs. e. I can drive past 11:00 PM. f. I don't need a chaperone on my Bank Account. g. I can STILL get into R rated movies [17 year old perk, carried over]. The Downsides: a. I can't get into bars // legally drink // purchase alchohol. b. I can't lease a car. c. I can't get into 21+ clubs. d. I can go to "big kid jail" [as Will calls it]. I think that's it. To think, I've made it eighteen years. I know, I asked the same question.. "HOW!?" I guess I shall see you all once I'm 18!
I miss you but I don't.. Valo Is God x (10:48:48 PM): I know what that feels like. Auto response from Shine Suicide (10:48:48 PM): "She's out of luck and out of hope and out of cigarettes.. Misunderstood with naked pictures on the internet." And this time, the lyrics are saying something about someone I used to know. I miss you but I don't. Shine Suicide (10:49:27 PM): sucks, don't it? Valo Is God x (10:49:46 PM): Ha yeah Shine Suicide (10:50:05 PM): i wish this person didn't do what they did.. maybe i'd still have respect for her, but she blew it a long time ago and continued to prove that she wasn't worth my time Valo Is God x (10:50:51 PM): ________? Shine Suicide (10:51:01 PM): yepp Valo Is God x (10:51:04 PM): I thought so Shine Suicide (10:51:15 PM): she just posted three bulletins with some really fucked up pictures Valo Is God x (10:51:35 PM): Of? Shine Suicide (10:52:08 PM): two bulletins were the same picture.. it was a gif of like, bouncing tits or whatever, and the other one was a picture of her friend with a dick in his mouth Valo Is God x (10:52:42 PM): =/ Valo Is God x (10:52:49 PM): I'm sorry Shine Suicide (10:53:00 PM): i reported it Valo Is God x (10:53:13 PM): I hate that feeling Valo Is God x (10:53:20 PM): Where you don't really want that person in your life anymore but you do Shine Suicide (10:53:43 PM): Yeah, you miss what you had with them, but who they are now disgusts you Valo Is God x (10:53:52 PM): Yep Valo Is God x (10:53:59 PM): Or you just cant get along with them Valo Is God x (10:54:13 PM): But you feel empty because they were such a big part of you and now theyre gone Shine Suicide (10:54:56 PM): Well, we get along when she decides to text me once every three years. I sent her a letter on her birthday, and she texted me a week later saying thanks, and we talked for a little bit, but that was it. Shine Suicide (10:55:23 PM): And yeah, I haven't thought about her for a while, but she goes on these bulletin sprees where it's like "Oh yeah, she does still exist" then all those feelings come back Valo Is God x (10:56:30 PM): Yeah I know what thats like too Shine Suicide (10:57:15 PM): Just throw Hatred, Love, Loss, Longing, and Disgust in a blender, and that's how I feel about her. Valo Is God x (10:58:19 PM): i hated ______ for a while Valo Is God x (10:58:25 PM): but i cant hate her anymore Shine Suicide (10:58:40 PM): How can any one hate ______, she's so awesome Valo Is God x (10:59:15 PM): lol Valo Is God x (10:59:25 PM): she didnt break your heart Valo Is God x (10:59:33 PM): its easy to hate anyone who breaks your heart Valo Is God x (10:59:38 PM): but then the pain grows less intense Shine Suicide (11:00:02 PM): True, you did have a different relationship with her than I did Valo Is God x (11:00:19 PM): i learned a lot from that relationship Shine Suicide (11:00:38 PM): I'm hoping that's meant in a good way Valo Is God x (11:00:43 PM): it is Shine Suicide (11:00:48 PM): good. lol Shine Suicide (11:01:00 PM): I can say that I've learned a lot about my relationship with ________ Shine Suicide (11:01:10 PM): about/with whatever Shine Suicide (11:01:14 PM): or from Shine Suicide (11:01:20 PM): I didnt' know how to make it sound right Valo Is God x (11:01:33 PM): yeah Shine Suicide (11:01:41 PM): And you know what I learned? Valo Is God x (11:01:51 PM): hm? Shine Suicide (11:01:55 PM): To not be like her. Shine Suicide (11:02:23 PM): To not dick my friends over for a guy and a bunch of drugs and alchohol Valo Is God x (11:02:49 PM): everyone thinks i did the first part Valo Is God x (11:02:51 PM): i think Shine Suicide (11:03:57 PM): You still talk to your friends.. ________ completely stopped talking to me as soon as she started dating ______.. when she found out he cheated on her, she came running to me to cry to. Then they worked it out, she started ignoring me again, and then went and fucked him Valo Is God x (11:04:22 PM): ohhhh Shine Suicide (11:04:38 PM): Yeah And this whole thing just made me really depressed. I need some sleep. See you all later.
You're only social on the stimulants.. So I found out that if I mix too much caffeine with my medication, I could wind up having a seizure. So if I start convulsing or anything, just tell everyone "It's okay.. it's only caffeine." More Dresden Dolls pictures. So this one guy takes some awesome pictures.. here's one of me and my Hunter at the July 1st show at Penn's Landing: And then more and better ones of the October 28th show at the TLA. If you look closely, you can see my hair in the audience. This was one of the opening acts: Then, me and the Brigaders on stage during "Sing" YOU MOTHER FUCKERS YOU'LL SING SOMEDAY!!: Find my hair!! lmao
4 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
Halloween Costume - Amy Lee My face is all smushed and chubbyish
6 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
This Scene Is Getting Old I love how reliable my friends are. Here's a tip, STOP MAKING PROMISES WHEN YOU KNOW YOU WON'T KEEP THEM. My mom told me she wants me to move out when I'm 18. That's in less then two weeks. That's a fucking joke. So the Good Charlotte concert, I'll try and make this brief.. We go in for the meet and greets and can't get pictures with the guys, only of them signing the stuff. The line up was Joel, Paul, Billy, Benji from left to right. I asked Joel to sign a birthday card for D'ana and he told me that I was "such a nice friend." Then had him and Paul hold a sign that said "I <3 D'ANA" on it. Went to Billy and held up my sign saying "BILLY, WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?" and he said "It's a nice offer but....... ....we're probably going to be touring" and Paul says "That's a no!" I was like "You're so mean!" And he says "Well, I'm just being honest 'cause I know Billy here won't be honest with you" And I said good point. So I got Billy and Benji in a picture with the sign too.. Benji was a little emo kid and didn't really talk. Then we went outside and back in. I went RIGHT up front in front of where Billy would be. The first band (Young Love) came on.. FUCKING awesome. At one point when it was quiet I screamed out "YOU'RE SEXY!!" to the singer.. he turns around, points at me and says in the mic "You're sexy!" haha, yay me. At the end of their set he jumps down in front of me and I say "CAN I HAVE A HUG" and he's like "sure!!" and I got a nice big sweaty hug from him. Then The Pink Spiders come on.. OH. MY. GOD. The bassist was SO FUCKING HOTTTTTTTTTT. He winked at Jamie, it was cute. The singer wasn't back either but the drummer was BLECH gross. And the song Little Razorblade was 800 times better live than when it was played at my work. THEN, GOOD CHARLOTTE!!!!! Oh god, they all looked amazing that night. I would have done any of them. At one point me and a group of people started screaming "PLAY GRAVITY GIRL" and Joel looks at us and says "I don't know that one.." and I screamed back "BUT YOU WROTE IT!" So Benji goes off and tries to play it and makes it sound horrible. Then they ended up playing a bunch of songs off their first album when they were only supposed to play one. I had asked on the boards if there would be a way that I could convince them to play Little Things or Festival Song and they ended up playing BOTH!! Along with like, the first ten seconds of Walk By. It was such a dick tease, but it was cool. Then during Keep Your Hands Off My Girl, I was like, the only one on my side of the crowd that knew all the words, so when Joel came on that side, he sang to me for a nice big chunk of the song. It was amazing. I can't wait to see them again for the sixth time. After the show I went to get merch and I noticed that THE FUCKING HOT BASSIST of The Pink Spiders was by their merch table. AHH!!! ORGASIM!! I went over and asked for a picture with him and then went over to the singer. Bought their CD off of him, got him to sign it and got a picture with him too (but on someone elses camera, I'm calling them this weekend to see if they still have them..) Went back to the bassist and had him sign the thing. Saw the singer from Young Love and got a picture with him on that other persons camera and told him they were awesome. Then I proceeded to spend $140 on merch and I made fun of the Pink Spiders merch guy, but he was cool.. I gave him an emo hug. That was basically it.. it took Eric 12 minutes to drive from the Electric Factory to Tom Jones, pretty amazing. That is all.
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5 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
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