home | profile | guestbook
AND i CANT MAKE iT ON MY OWN.
recent entries | past entries
xvivaxlabamxfanx
Junior Prom Yeah, junior prom sucked. I wish one of the like, 358124350 girls I invited could have went with me. But the all ended up bailing on me and I went by myself. Well, I brought Alyssa there. But back up.. started the day waking up late 'cause I had time (I got the car so I could get home.. ^_^) and I brought in this thing to art class that I glued a ton of little mirror pieces on. After I dropped it off, I walked back to the car to get my school bag and realized that my finger was wet. I looked down at it and it was covered in red. I was like "shit.. I'm bleeding." and I couldn't find where the cut was. So I spent that morning going to the nurse, cleaning off my finger and getting a bandaid. Then we had first period and my teacher actually let us play a game instead of doing work. We played Battle of the Sexes. It was a bit sad that Sean could name all five spice girls. LMAO. At the end we went to the auditorium for a drunk driving assembly. Then got dismissed. Amanda came with me 'cause I was giving her a ride home and we couldn't find Felicia. I pulled up to the front doors and Taylor and Kyle asked for rides so I said "Hell, why not" so I gave them all rides, went to my mom's work and she drove me home to meet my cousin there. I grabbed my makeup and stuff and we went to her house. She started doing my hair around 10:15. It took forever! She did my makeup and at 2 she started my nails. I was finished at 2:10 (when a normal school day lets out) and then we had to pick up her oldest kid from school. So while we were there waiting for him to get out, i'm in the back of the van playing with her youngest kid, Kyle. He's soooo cute! And he learned how to say my name!! ^_^. So I get home, I'm dressed and shit, just waiting around for stuff to start. Eric runs late coming to see me so I go over Alyssa's. I had to wait there for like, 20 minutes untill her aunt shows up. Then we get back to my house and we run to eric's then my grandmoms. I was too late for my aunt to be there. We get back and my mom takes us to wawa, then she has to run in and get beer for her boyfriend (but she couldnt have done that AFTER she dropped us off??) and then she drive us across the street to the Holiday Inn Select. Nice place. We pull up and Noval's group is heading in. We get out, get in and grab our name plates. Mine doesn't have a number so I'm confused.. and then I realize that my mom didn't give me my picture money. I call her and wait outside for her. My principal asks me if I'm okay becuase I'm sitting on the bench tapping my foot a lot and looking like I'm going to cry (because i was going to.. I was frustrated). She dropped off the money and I go in trying to find the people at my table. I get to that table and there were only 9 chairs there. Not 10. GREAT, fucked over. I started crying because I didn't feel good. I went into the bathroom and stayed in a stall for about 10 minutes before coming out. We found Mr. Conti to tell him about the seating dillemah. After another 10 minutes, he shows up with a chair and salad and we squeeze it into the table. I see Steve Noval and motion him over. He's like "what's up?" and I ask him "I don't have anyone to take the pictures with, do you think you could get them with me?" "Oh yeah, sure, no problem" "allright, I'll find you after dinner". I was happy. Time for dinner. The waiter dude comes over and asks who ordered the chicken. All 9 people raise their hands. He goes "Well, I have 5 for chicken and four for beef at this table so SOMEONE is eating the beef" and I'm just sitting there like what the fuck. So four people gave up what they payed OVER FIFTY DOLLARS for to eat the worst meal on the menu (I heard after prom the beef sucked, and the chicken was allright). Then this fucking jerk tries putting beef in front of me. I wanted to vomit on it, AND HIM! I was like "EXCUSE ME, I'm a vegitarian." and he goes "oh.. sorry.." with no fucking sympathy. Asswipe. I eat, then I get up to do something and I start crying again, so I go into the bathroom. Two preppy chicks almost knocked down the door to talk to me. Even though they're the type of people I hate, they were really nice. They made me promise to have a good time and to dance with them once (which neither I did). So I came out and the dancefloor was already started. I missed dessert. Chocolate cake. blech. I started going around getting pictures. I looked for Steve and eventually found him and we got our pictures. He's so nice. I found my English teacher so I ended up talking to her for a half an hour and then I got some more, and she took pictures of people with me and for me. Then I was dancing to the electric and chacha slides and the perculator. I ask Taylor to ask Steve if he'd dance with me. Taylor comes back and says "He said yes, and he'll be over" about 20 minutes later he walks by and waves to me, I wave back. Then i didn't see him the rest of the night. I took a picture of Kevin taking off Felicia's garter and then a picture of her taking mine off. I go over to my table to grab something and I notice the little pile of stuff I made (with my name on it!) wasn't there. So I'm like "What the fuck? I had my name on this on purpose" (I was later informed Kelly had taken it apart). I made a new pile then I walked away. Kevin was like "we're gonna go, meet me over at that door." so I went to get my stuff and my pile was taken apart again (this time it was Taylor) and I got really pissed at that point, I grabbed one of the champange glasses, yelled "I'M FUCKING SICK OF THIS!!!" and smashed it on the table. Grabbed my purse and left. Felicia comes running after me saying "You might be suspended for that!!!" (which I havent even been asked about it by a teacher). I said "I don't really care." Kevin drops off Felicia and we pick up Eric and Jen and go to Tom Jones. The line was halfway around the building due to four proms being held. So we said fuckit and went to Denny's. Couple of CHI groups showed up and that was it. Then i went home.. and the babe that just moved in on my street a couple of weeks ago got taken away by the ambulance for overdosing on Angel Dust. Smartass. Had her kid in the house too. Then I went to bed (like 3 or 4am). Cousin's party (Kyle), developed pictures, rained all weekend, and today is the Day Of Silence. My principal said we can start a GSA in our school next year. Sweet. Later. No one reads these.
2 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
..it is silver and silent.. Well.. I felt like writing 'cause I beleive it will stop my head from exploding. First off, yesterday was a disaster. I enjoyed my day, passing out Holographic *N SYNC Valentine's cards, and getting a few cards in return. Came home and let Steph come over since she felt bad that I had no plans. We invited Mike Jordan over 'cause he wasn't doing anything. Soon after my mom turns on bitch mode and goes "Steph has to leave. NOW." So I turned and was like "Uhh.. sorry steph =/ You.. have to leave. And it's not my choice." Then right after she left, my phone rings. It's Mike. "Hey I'm at the Wawa.. almost there" "Uhh... I'm SOOOOO sorry.. no one is allowed over.. I tried to IM you, but I guess you weren't there. I'll tell you about it later though." I felt so bad!!! I was told to get off the computer and it was around 6 or 6:30. I had to take all 4623472457 (more like 5 or 6) pairs of shoes to my room and a bunch of other shit.. so now as I start getting a little bit of room in my room, I have to pile MORE shit in there. On top of that, Frankie AND Mariah died. All I have left is the suicidal freak named Paul. Speaking of which, I need to clean the big tank 'cause he's in the little thinger right now.. and his water is a bit cold. So, this weekend I plan on clearing out a spot in my "box" of a room so I can bring the computer up, so then my mom won't have to deal with it down here. I also brought up all 621597 DVDs that I own so now the living room looks completely EMPTY except all my shit on the computer desk. So then me and my mom are watching American Idol, and she gives me my present.. pretty socks with hearts and flowers. And then we're pretty okay.. watched Dr. Phil with Paula Abdul on it.. blah blah. This morning I'm running a bit late.. dumbass me.. I find a cup to put my cappuchino in, and then fucking leave it on the stove as I rush to the bus stop >.< Smart. Then we get there and we're given the prompt: "Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread in it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves... All things connect." And we had to write five paragraphs supporting and explaining it. I was like "WHAT!?!?!?" I walked out of there when we were dismissed and walked up to my one English teacher and said "My head is going to explode!!!" But then my day went allright after that.. fifth period we JAMMED to Backstreet Boys. Mr. Konigsberg is obsessed with the song "I Want It That Way" so we listened to that, and then I freaked people out by knowing all the words to all the songs put on.. then by the end of the period, everyone was singing along.. Steve Noval even came in and started singing. I was like "Break it down, Steve!!" and he's like "Do I know this one... wait.. yeah. Haha" and then left. Then came lunch. No one was at the table when I had my food so I was kinda spacing out.. Briana asked if anything was wrong, and at that moment... nothing was. I was just spaced. I spaced out again staring into my empty milk carton when Heather asked for a quarter. But then we were talking about some things.. and I just felt really weird. I didn't want to say anything though.. Brie asked what was wrong again.. and I said nothing. She got like thisclose to my face and asked again. And I just stared at her eyeball 'till she started singing fall out boy"s" songs. I wanted Kris to pierce my spetum today, but when she said that she'd be right back.. she never came back. Hopefully tomorrow if she's not being all distant. I'm just in a weird mood. Once Eric (yeah.. the Gay boyfriend) gets home and gets his hair cut, he's taking me out to Christiana Mall.. I think he's meeting up with someone, but I don't care. I'm getting out. Then he's going to take me to the mall tomorrow night to meet up with this girl that I planned on meeting up with since my mom won't let me take the car. Friday is Kaitlyn day. Movies movies movies and possibly sleep. Just where though? Yeah. Leave my friends alone. You don't like when I get close to yours, so leave mine the fuck alone. You wonder why I'm pissy. >.< I figured something out. My one friend explained to me how when they feel like someone is going to leave them, they leave first. And what I figured out about myself is that when someone starts doing that to me, I help to push them away. I pull out everything that I can to make it worse and to push them farther away. I guess it's because I don't want to feel a lot of regret or anything so I kinda help people leave so it's not like "well.. I didn't do anything.. why did this happen..?" I dunno. I'm gonna stop now so I can do some stuff.
If I'm just bad news..
..just spinning in circles.. Wow. I hate myself even more than I thought. Yesterday was all right (got called to the principals because Paste Face is a fucking pussy, but besides that...) I hate my mom so much. She got thisclose to punching me in the face yesterday. She went out for a ride and I had a fucking breakdown. Crying, screaming, throwing shit (all while doing chores). I went upstairs and I don't know why, but I ended up taking a handful of tylenol. And there were at LEAST six of them in my hand. Then I watched Corpse Bride for the second time that night (Earlier I watched it at Steph's), took a shower, and went back into my room to put it on again. That's when I heard my mom home. Greaaaaaaaaaaat. Nothing happened, plus I had my door locked. Today I wore ALL fucking Good Charlotte. I dunno, I wanted a flashback... to ninth grade. But.. boy, was I wrong. All day, sitting there in the same Good Charlotte pants, Good Charlotte shirt, Good Charlotte necklace, and same color hair as ninth grade, I felt exactly like I did in ninth grade. Miserable, depressed, to myself, angry with everyone, and just all around horrible. I want to change out of it, but I feel so comfortable with the whole "Good Charlotte"-ness of it. But then again, it's making me feel like shit. Last time I cried? After I got off the phone with my mom. Before then? Walking through the doors coming home from school. Before that? Read above. Yeah, so it wasn't a good past twentyfour hours. Ugh, I forget what I was going to put.. and I'm on the phone with Steph now which doesn't help the memory. LOL Oh. I hate Steve Barrar (the state representative asshole guy).
..i still have some tears to shed.. Why is my mom such a fucking over protective bitch? UGH. Last night she seemed more towards a maybe on the FL situation.. and then all of a sudden while I'm showing her my Art Midterm (which sucks, I know it) she randomly whips out "I don't want you to go to Florida" WTF!? So we went on for twenty minutes, me in tears the whole time. Supposedly she talked to people about it (my Dad and her boyfriend) who think EXACTLY like her, so of course they're gonna say 'no'! I explained to her that Michelle is closer to me than anyone around here in Chichester. How she knows me more than anyone I ever called my bestfriend around here. I tell her EVERYTHING, she sometimes knows me more than I know myself. And the same with D'ana.. I don't think I've ever had a Chichester bestfriend for three years. These girls could be my sister and if anything came down to it, I would go to them over almost anyone. They're closer to me than any significant other will be. I love them with all of my heart, which is divided completely down the middle for those two. I don't love either one more than the other, and I would be completely lost without them. I need them to survive. I may look pretty well on the outside.. but I'm never okay. Deep down inside I'm always hurting and even when they aren't talking to me, but I see their screenname on my buddy list that says they're on, it makes me feel like all is right in the world. That they're just a double-click away. Even in the middle of the day, I'll start playing with my necklaces and I start thinking about them. A smile forms on my face and I feel a lot better. I might run and skip in the hallways making funny noises (that's just who I am), but that's only what I let people see. It's hard for people to see the real me.. but these two girls did it. They broke through my thick sheild to the point where they would sit on the other end of the phone while I cried for two hours talking to them about people they never even heard of. Just me knowing that they're there gives me such comfort. If not for them, I wouldn't be alive right now. I would have gone through with the suicide thing three years ago. That's how much these girls mean to be and my mom doesn't get it. She understands that Michelle is my best friend that I've had for three years running, and she thinks it would be a "great adventure" for me to do this but she claims I'm "too young." So then I pulled out that I was planning on seeing the local college when I got there to make it resourseful too. And I asked her what I would do if I went to an out of state college? I'd have to get up and leave and be hundreds of miles away. I told her to look at this as a practice to see how she'd be if I left for college. And she's like "When do you plan on going to college?" and I told her "I'd start planning this time of next year when I'm 18, and start up that fall right before I turn 19.. it's one year." And like, five minutes before this, she tells me that I can go when I'm 18. When I'm fucking 18 I won't be worrying about joy trips, I'll be worrying about how to pay for college. Let me do everything this year before I get to 18. And I also explained how I'm going to be at a friends house, not in a smelly hotel room with 20-something year old guys going to Cancun to party, get drunk, be on Mtv and strip for girls gone wild. I told her I'm going to be at this house, she lives right near the beach so we can walk there and I can put my toes in the ocean, and it's not like I'm going to be getting drunk and doing drugs. Yeah she might have some friends over and we'll stay up all night watching movies, but that's it. Stuff that goes on here, just with my best friend. I have to talk it through with my father and my mom's boyfriend with everything I just previously mentioned. JOY, I can't stand my dad. He scares me. I'll get two words out and he'll be like "I don't want to hear it, you're not going." PSH. I'm going. And I told my mom in this conversation that seemed like an hour long, that no matter what, I'm going to Arizona in June or July, and the Florida trip was to get me prepared for that. Whatever. First period final didn't help. GAH, 10 questions, 10 points each, 45 minutes. I didn't even do number 8 'cause I completely forgot how to use my Pythagorean Identities. I got half of number 9 done, so that's a minimum of 85 points right there if everything else was right. OH, I FUCKING HATE STUDENT TEACHERS!!! OMFG!! The dude teaching our Physics class is worse than fucking Mr. Roger's. His voice is so " - - - - - - - - - - - " it puts me to fucking sleep! UGH, I get screwed over. First the whacko in English class (who's now gone), and this guy, and then we're getting some chick to take over our art class. >_< UGH. Now I go do my Trigonometry homework for the last class of it that I have tomorrow. Thursday starts precalculus... ONLY IF I PASS THE FINAL. grrrr.
..no future for you.. Celebrities piss me off. Something just came on about Reese Witherspoons Golden Globes dress and how it was a rerun of Kirsten Dunst (or someone) from THREE FUCKING YEARS AGO! And I as "Who fucking gives a shit? It looks better on Reese anyway!" And they call this news. Who the hell sits there and goes "Hey, I saw that dress three years ago.." It doesn't happen!! And then they sit there and make fun of celebrities when they gain weight, but then turn around "The SHOCKING Story of this stars' anorexia, next" WHO THE FUCK DROVE THEM TO ANOREXIA!! YOU FUCKING SHIT HEADS!! THAT'S WHO!! As much as I don't like her, I think the only real person in Hollywood is Kelly Osbourne. She isn't giving in to the pressure to lose weight and look like a fucking Corpse. She's happy with who she is and she doesn't want to become another stereotype. This is the major reason I want to be famous, I want to prove to EVERYONE that you don't have to be fake to be loved. Of course, there are going to be people that hate you 'cause you're 5, 10, 70 pounds over YOUR average weight, which in turn turns out to be 50, 100, 700 pounds over HOLLYWOODS average weight. I want to be the one they catch on camera stuffing my face with twinkies and chips, downing a double mega milk shake. That will be the highlight of my life if I become famous. Besides that, I WAS going to watch my friends' Sex Pistols Documentary DVD, but right when I went to put it on, my mom flipped on me saying that it's her TV and she wants to watch it, but before then she wasn't doing shit for two hours I was doing my homework and blasting the Sex Pistols. She was laying down, supposed to take a bath, and then she went and got high. So why am I at fault? Now my friend won't get her DVD back untill Friday, if I even get to watch it tomorrow.. and then while I'm playing the Sex Pistols, she goes "THIS MUSIC FUCKING SUCKS!!!" How dare she. UGH, it's either 70's punk, or 50's drape music. Right now, I'm not in our century. Dresden Dolls: "I might join your century but only on a rare occasion". Exactly, I don't live in the two-thousands.. I'm stuck in different decades. "I might join your century but only as a doubtful guest" I don't belong in this century. I feel like the mental-issues are coming back on this one, but I don't feel like I fit in here. Not where I live, but what-time I live. This decade sucks, and I'm embarassed to be part of the "emo-scene" facists. It's so fake and fucked up.
www.dresdendolls.com Frequently Asked Questions: "What is the song “coin-operated boy” about? Is it about a dildo? I have fifty bucks riding on this.” It is not about a dildo. It is about lonliness.
Coin-Operated Boy Well, last night I performed in the lip sync with Taylor. Lena and Micky came to bring us there, and Lena did our faces. Supposedly AFTER approving of the song, they then said that it was inappropriate. So in conclusion, we were disqualified. After we went on, I went out to get a drink and Mr Donelly was like "Stef, can you come here a minute?" "Yes?" "I need to see you and Taylor in my office tomorrow morning and I'll tell you what it's about then." JOY. So then during intermission I'm talking to the judges and they told me how awesome I was and how it seemed as though that was actually my voice and that it looked like I was singing it. >_< YAY. LOL, I was all thinking "awesome.. kudos from judges." And then I mentioned Donelly and they were like "He didn't tell you?" "No..." "We should tell her. I don't care what he said I'm telling her" and that's where she told me about the content. I explained how it was approved and it wasn't to be taken sexual. I explained how he's my friend and I chose him to be my friend that day. I also told them how the video has nothing like that either, the only suggestive thing in the video is at the end where the music slows down she turns out the light and he's lying next to her on the bed and she closes her eyes and goes to sleep. Later on today from Ashley, I found out that after talking to one of the judges, that we actually would have gotten third place (which in turn would have won money) but because of the disqualifications, three groups that didn't even LIP SING won. We were the only group that actually lip sang and new EVERY single word to the song. Other people focused on their dancing. It was rediculous. Well this morning while talking to Mr. Donelly, he doesn't understand how they let us go on with that song. We explained how it was already preapproved and they told us it was fine. So he was confused how it got past them. I have about 78 teachers standing up in our defense but Donelly explained that nothing too serious should happen since the whole show was a sexual disaster. The people in front of us did splits and then while in the split, the starting bouncing and making it look like they were fucking the floor. But right now it's past Donelly and it's being delt with by the people above him. Aka, the superintendant: Mr. Golde. That's where it gets scary. Then he tells us not to worry, nothing it going to happen untill next week so for us to enjoy our Friday and then out three day weekend. Helen Ann's dad videotaped a couple of the acts, including mine, so hopefully on Tuesday, I'll be getting a copy and then I'll put a video clip up on Woohu, Livejournal, and Myspace. I'll let you know when it's coming. Thanks to all who came out and supported us, and for all those who liked our NONsexual song.
..You can't always get what you want.. Wow.. I can't feel my nose. Assholes in my 2nd period continue to throw things at me.. and today they succeeded. I got one of them written up. Go me. But my keychain is still broken... my VINTAGE KEYCHAIN!!!! assholes. I love how people can sit there and talk shit about you behind your back (because they think you're doing the same) and then still come up and talk to you like nothing's going on. Whatever. Well whatever. People suck and they all need to die. All but me and my sexeh face. I love him.
WERD BITCHES!!
6 Are a liar.. + | If I'm just bad news..
Everybody Scream People piss me off. Every little thing I say and do, I get a comment. "I might be going to see H.I.M. next month." "H.I.M. sucks, I wouldn't go" .... uh.. I didn't ask if YOU wanted to go... I just felt like mentioning that I might be going. I really didn't feel like sleeping over Steph's yesterday.. I felt like walking out of her house, and going somewhere to cry. I didn't want to go home.. my mom was worse. But instead, I held it in, like always..... and ended up hanging out with the adults and eating doritos. Tonight is Halloween... boo? I dunno, life sucks, and Livejournal just got blocked on CHI's computers so I have to go back to this lousy journal to do all my posts. If only I would find that way to get around the blockage and be able to check my myspace. Need.. to.. find.. answers.. HELP ME. p.s. I love my sex face *muahz*
Hand guns for hearts.. I hate people. And as anti-racist as I am, I'm starting to hate black people. Not all of them, but about a good 86% of them. Along with "Poseur-Bitch" I am now referred to as "Halloween Girl." It was in lunch yesterday.. I was wearing black and green "arm-warmers" (stockings cut to be arm warmers) and these black kids were like "ohhh, it's not halloween yet.. ohhh Trick - or - treat!!" so.. in response I was like "Hah, yeah.. Trick - or treat.. gonna give a fat girl candy? No? Then shut the fuck up." Them: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh" I fucking hate black people. They try to pull this whole shit about how "dere peeps was slaves" and how they have it soooooo damn hard. Yeah fucking right. Those people that were slaves were your great-great-great-great-great grandparents. So shut the fuck up, you have no idea what they went through. And don't blame the white people for the slavery.. it was the black people who sold your fucking family into slavery to get a little bit of pocket money. Us "white folk" only took what your people did first. And don't call us fucking "crackers" if you can't handle being called a fucking "nigger." It's the same amount of respect.. you call me a cracker, then I'll call you a nigger. End of story. And don't discriminate about the things that we have versus what you have. Yeah, you got all this "bling" and "ice." Well, to me that looks like you are either a Male Prostitute, or you get your money from your mom. Either way, that's lower than dirt. What about the people like me who have to go through a pile of pennies everyday just to make sure I can buy something to make my stomach stop begging for food? I buy and wear what I can, which isn't much. But I'm proud of the shit that I buy from Good Will. Half that shit is better than that crap you guys get from what.. areopostale and I don't even know what the black people stores are called. Sure, I've started te Ramen life .. once again.. but it's not that bad. I'd rather live off of Ramen the rest of my life instead of being forced to eat meat (seeing as I'm a vegitarian.) And then the stupid validation of being in a relationship. I don't care if you're in a relationship, but don't rub it in other peoples faces. And while you're at it, do background checks and make sure the "sweet innocent" girl you're hooking up with doesn't have AIDS or any other STD from the 800 guys shes fucked in the last month. And don't sit there asking me "well.. why do you not like her?" I don't like her because shes a slut.. and maybe because I like you. All the guys I end up getting "things" for.. end up fucking themselves over by getting some slutface to be with them. I'm not saying that I'm nicer or better than them, it's just that I don't want to see the guy I like get fucked over by a whore. This one kid (I'll call him Joe .. which is far from his real name) .. I hooked up with him once after he told me that he thought I was good looking. So we met up, and as I walked him half-way home, we hooked up.. and I thought you know, I might actually have a chance. A week later he IMs me "Hey, guess what" "hmm?" I ask. And what does 'Joe' tell me but: "I got a girlfriend!!" ok.. wow. good for you fucker. what the hell happened to me? And I look at his myspace.. and they've only been together for 2 months and he's all "I love her so much. We're going to be together forever.. and even in the after life.." blah blah blah. I can't wait till she breaks his heart into a thousand microscopic pieces. And the kid I'm talking about at the top.. I'll call him "Drew" (again, far from the real name).. Now Drew here.. I met him over the summer.. and although he's two years younger than me, I don't care. He's a nice kid and very good looking at that. He's also very talented and I like him. I realize I have no chance with him, but I'm so much better than that cunt face. There's this new kid Sean who rides my bus.. (yes, real name this time). Hes also a freshman like 'Drew'.. and I sat with him on the bus today.. he's pretty cool.. we sang Weezer's "Sweater Song" today... lol. I don't know why I like him.. I think he's kinda cute, but if he's with this one chick that someone said he's with.. shes fugly. But I'm not going to interfere with anything. I just want someone to care for me even half as much as my friends do. Someone that will be there when I need to cry (which has been a LOT lately) and someone who will hug me and say everything is going to be allright, and that they'll take care of it. And everyone I end up liking, either a. hates my guts. b. doesnt like me that way. c. already has someone. or d. is trying to get with someone else. or any combination of those four. I just need someone to talk to besides myself. I know, I'm always there when I need me, but I'm also my biggest enemy (right behind all the assholes at school). I'm the most hardest on myself, but being that way makes me honest with myself at the same time. I know I'm overweight .. I call myself fat. These little prissy people that are a size 2 need to shut their fucking mouths because they don't know what fat is. They are not fat, and if they want to know what fat is, I'll sit on them. I'm allowed to call myself fat, because I am. Don't call yourself something you're not. I'm happy with who I am and I'm happy with being brutally honest with myself. Now I'm going to go and have a shitty time at the homecoming dance.. but hell.. it gets me away from the bitch monster. Anyone want to go see Misdeed, Centerview, Forever Came Crashing and a few other bands with me tomorrow night? If not.. then you'll find me at home doing nothing.
Shut up, and play. Fuck yeah. The whole entire concert can be sumed up in two words.. "Fuck Yeah." I took off all day on Friday because I'm just so fucking cool like that. And Michelle ended up being off too so I got to talk to her. I bleached my hair (well the one part) yet again.. and it was all like straw and shit. So I took a shower, then put my red on it and got back in the shower. Damn fucking dye took too long to rinse out.. it wasn't even running clear but I said "fuck it" and got out. So I got dressed and my mom took me up around WalMart at about 12:45. I went to the bank to get money out, went into walmart to get cameras and stopped at Taco Bell to pick up some lunch. Came home, ate.. and did some stuff. I went over Steph's around 2:30 and Zack was there. We chilled, got ready.. I painted my nails, Zack's nails, AND Steph's nails. I did my make up.. I did Zack's make up.. and I didn't have time to do Steph's. We left... got lost getting to the Ben Franklin bridge.. but got there with enough time. Once we were in the doors, I saw Lena in the line for the pit, so I went over to say "Hi." Her hair was greeeeeeeen =] lol. We go in and find me and Steph's seats. Then we explore and look for how far away Zack's seat is. Damn was is far. But luckily we got away with him sitting with us and we didn't have to go back there again. After sitting for a while, we decide to buy merch 'cause there was nothing better to do. Steph bought a hoodie (REVENGE) and then I bought the pretty bloody rose shirt, and the other hoodie.. and the poster that both Steph and Zack bought at Warped Tour. Went back to our TWO seats, but spread out and filled like, five. People started filling in.. and then Reggie and the who-ever-the-fuck-they-were went on. They were really really really REALLY good. But I got hungry, so right before their last song, I went and bought a pretzel and put some mustard on it. Found my way back (don't know how...) and shared with Steph. She's like "BLAH! IT'S SPICY!" but yeah.. they (the band) were good. They talked about how he got kicked out of his school.. which was a catholic school.. that his dad was the pastor at.. and that's why the fish had devil horns. Then a break, Zack found his "friend" who wouldn't stop fucking kissing him. Then... wooo! Alkaline Trio!! Hehe.. they were really good live. I'm not too impressed by "Crimson" but .. live was awesome. I rocked out to what I knew.. and then, wow. Another break. During this break.. they played Jay-Z and shit. I'm sitting there like "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!??!?! I DIDN'T COME HERE TO LISTEN TO THIS SHIT!!!!" but then I started getting pumped and I was dancing to it... Zack's "friend" told me that I'm now her hero. =] And there was some kid dancing in the isle so I shouted over "WOO!!! YEAH!! TAKE IT OFF!!!! OW!" It was fun. I looked at the pit during each break and I was like "Oh look.. there's Lena.." and Zack's like "yeah.. you can tell by the hair" and I go "that's how I found her during Hard Rock Live." Music stops.. a few lights go off.. and everyon and their mom start cheering and standing up. Those few lights go back on and everyone is like "aww... wtf" and I just laugh at all the idiots. THEN the lights go completely out and the curtain goes up and all you see are the two screens. It was amazing. They started it off with the "Interlude" thinger.. and o.m.g. a.m.a.z.i.n.g. words cannot describe how GREAT this fucking concert was. We ended up being "Philla-New Jersey" and it was AWESOME to see My Chemical Romance in their HOMETOWN!! WOO!!!! Lots of clapping went on.. and dancing.. These people in like, this front-ish row of our section decided to leave like, 3 songs into the set, so we walk up and take their spot. I turn around and notice full cups of soda, so I drink some.. and I look at the floor, and theres a fucking DIGITAL CAMERA there. I thought it was Zack's so I tap him on the shoulder and ask if it's his and he says "no..." so I'm all like "SHIT! New camera!!! Hells yeah." And these girls next to Steph were all grabbing people's hair as they walked by. And according to Steph, they only knew the stuff on the new album and nothing from the old one.. damn preppy poseurs. Don't go to a concert when you don't know all the stuff from the headlining band that you are going to see. Dumbasses. I was disappointed because he didn't tell us a story =[ but he did do the "woah - oh - oh - oh - oah - oah - ohhh" thinger, from Hard Rock Live. "SO WHO'S FUCKED UP TONIGHT!!????" -wooooo!!! "AND I DON'T MEAN DRINKING AND PILLS FUCKED UP, I MEAN FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD!!!!" -woooooo!!!! "AND YOU GOT FIVE PEOPLE UP HERE, JUST AS FUCKED UP AS YOU!!!!" heh. ^_^ . I feel bad for who ever was in the pit and got hit with that shoe that kept flying all over. There was a hoodie too.. and then someone had an umbrella during Helena. It was cute. Uhhh... it's hurting my brain trying to think of everything. At the end, they did I'm Not Okay.. and I was all headbanging Ray-style. I took my glasses off, held onto the bar, and just let loose. I lost my voice so I stopped sining and just gave myself whip-lash yet again at another concert/show. We gave "FUCK YEAH"s to the other bands becuase Gerard told us to. And they covered a Misfits song.. yay. They also played a brand new song.. "Shut up and play". I LOVED IT. We left and I found some confetti by the water fountains, so I took some xD and we got drinks.. I found a sparkly bag on the floor, so I looked in it.. there were some quarters, a lighter and a camera. I left the key there in case they got back. They had no fucking pictures of the show on the damn camera. Fuckers. Found my friend in the parking lot and talked to her. After asking this one lady where they got their street vender shirts, she asked me about my hair and how to get colors to show up in her daughters hair 'cause they just died it black. They were really nice.. so I was talking to them about my hair.. and then after trying to find the street venders, my mom decides to be there. So we find her.. and as we're driving away, theres a street vender. FUCKING TRADITION TO BUY A DAMN STREET ENDER SHIRT. her asshole boyfriend says "no. im not stopping." and keeps going. FUCKING ASSHOLE. ruin my whole night breaking my fucking tradition. but whatever. we go to Steph's to get our stuff, then drop Zack off.. then I go home and go to bed. Septa-FUCK. After hanging out all day.. me and Steph decide to go to Wal Mart. So we wait for the bus (Septa-FUCK.) and I end up calling a neighbor asking for a ride. There goes the bus (Septa-FUCK). Fucker. Here's our ride. Go to walmart, get pictures developed. Sit at the bus (Septa-FUCK) stop outside of there.. singing MCR at the top of our lungs and woo-ing randomly. I skipped across the street. xD . Her mom calls and decideds to pick us up. Here comes the bus. (Septa-FUCK). And here I am writing about this being asked to get off the computer by my mom, so I'm going to get off and work on my room.. woo.
Why.don't.you.just.drop.dead? Ok.. movie = fucking amazing. Tim Burton has out-done himself once again. Sound familiar? "SUCK MY BALLS, BITCH!" yeah, call me a fucking guy again, and I'll fuck your ass up. Don't even get your damn sister on me 'cause if she touches me, her ass is in jail. You wanna go up against me, let's go. As soon as you're ready. And whom ever said shit to me in the parking lot on the way out can go fuck themselves up their ass. This was not my fucking week. I hate emotional breakdowns.. ESPECIALLY when they're in public. First, the whole guy shit thing, which didn't really bother me.. but then we couldn't find Jim, my friends were pissing me off.. I had a horrible week, and I just needed to let it out.. I felt like such a fucking idiot walking out of that movie.. but OH FUCKING WELL. As soon as I would stop crying, something is the movie would make a tear come, and then I started up again. I really really wanted to leave like, 20 minutes in, but I wanted to see it even more. Making plans sucks. I made my plans for this week about 4 weeks ago, and then three days ago, it all get FUCKED up. I don't feel good.. I actually wouldn't mind if I died right now. Fuck off and die you fat bitch. Yes, I mean you.
xunspokenxfearszx
BORED AS HELL HAH __ THERES NOTHiNG TO DO THiS LATE AT NiGHT [EARLY] iN THE MORNiNG _ NOT SURE iF iTS LATE AT NiGHT OR EARLY iN THE MORNiNG __ HMM HARD ONE __ HAH L0L ... WELL iTS BEEN A WHiLE _ JUST WANTED TO UPDATE [SO YOU KNOW] iM STiLL ALiVE | LATER |
Fill this out? Stole this from Jay who stole it from someone else.. FILL IT OUT!!! I ____ Stefani. Stefani is ____. If I were alone in a room with Stefani, I would ____. I think Stefani should _____ Stefani needs ____. Stefani will never ____. I want to _____ Stefani. Stefani can ____ my _____. When I think about Stefani, I ____. Someday Stefani will _____. Stefani reminds me of _____. Without Stefani ____. Memories of Stefani are ____. Stefani can be ____. ____ is how I describe meeting Stefani. Worst thing about Stefani is ____. Best thing about Stefani is _____. Stefani _____. If Stefani was a flavor of ice cream he would be _____. Stefani is my _____. I wish Stefani would _____.
Woohu.com | Random Journal