Junior Prom
Yeah, junior prom sucked. I wish one of the like, 358124350 girls I invited could have went with me. But the all ended up bailing on me and I went by myself. Well, I brought Alyssa there. But back up.. started the day waking up late 'cause I had time (I got the car so I could get home.. ^_^) and I brought in this thing to art class that I glued a ton of little mirror pieces on. After I dropped it off, I walked back to the car to get my school bag and realized that my finger was wet. I looked down at it and it was covered in red. I was like "shit.. I'm bleeding." and I couldn't find where the cut was. So I spent that morning going to the nurse, cleaning off my finger and getting a bandaid. Then we had first period and my teacher actually let us play a game instead of doing work. We played Battle of the Sexes. It was a bit sad that Sean could name all five spice girls. LMAO. At the end we went to the auditorium for a drunk driving assembly. Then got dismissed. Amanda came with me 'cause I was giving her a ride home and we couldn't find Felicia. I pulled up to the front doors and Taylor and Kyle asked for rides so I said "Hell, why not" so I gave them all rides, went to my mom's work and she drove me home to meet my cousin there. I grabbed my makeup and stuff and we went to her house. She started doing my hair around 10:15. It took forever! She did my makeup and at 2 she started my nails. I was finished at 2:10 (when a normal school day lets out) and then we had to pick up her oldest kid from school. So while we were there waiting for him to get out, i'm in the back of the van playing with her youngest kid, Kyle. He's soooo cute! And he learned how to say my name!! ^_^. So I get home, I'm dressed and shit, just waiting around for stuff to start.

Eric runs late coming to see me so I go over Alyssa's. I had to wait there for like, 20 minutes untill her aunt shows up. Then we get back to my house and we run to eric's then my grandmoms. I was too late for my aunt to be there. We get back and my mom takes us to wawa, then she has to run in and get beer for her boyfriend (but she couldnt have done that AFTER she dropped us off??) and then she drive us across the street to the Holiday Inn Select. Nice place. We pull up and Noval's group is heading in. We get out, get in and grab our name plates. Mine doesn't have a number so I'm confused.. and then I realize that my mom didn't give me my picture money. I call her and wait outside for her. My principal asks me if I'm okay becuase I'm sitting on the bench tapping my foot a lot and looking like I'm going to cry (because i was going to.. I was frustrated). She dropped off the money and I go in trying to find the people at my table. I get to that table and there were only 9 chairs there. Not 10. GREAT, fucked over. I started crying because I didn't feel good. I went into the bathroom and stayed in a stall for about 10 minutes before coming out. We found Mr. Conti to tell him about the seating dillemah. After another 10 minutes, he shows up with a chair and salad and we squeeze it into the table. I see Steve Noval and motion him over. He's like "what's up?" and I ask him "I don't have anyone to take the pictures with, do you think you could get them with me?" "Oh yeah, sure, no problem" "allright, I'll find you after dinner". I was happy. Time for dinner. The waiter dude comes over and asks who ordered the chicken. All 9 people raise their hands. He goes "Well, I have 5 for chicken and four for beef at this table so SOMEONE is eating the beef" and I'm just sitting there like what the fuck. So four people gave up what they payed OVER FIFTY DOLLARS for to eat the worst meal on the menu (I heard after prom the beef sucked, and the chicken was allright). Then this fucking jerk tries putting beef in front of me. I wanted to vomit on it, AND HIM! I was like "EXCUSE ME, I'm a vegitarian." and he goes "oh.. sorry.." with no fucking sympathy. Asswipe. I eat, then I get up to do something and I start crying again, so I go into the bathroom. Two preppy chicks almost knocked down the door to talk to me. Even though they're the type of people I hate, they were really nice. They made me promise to have a good time and to dance with them once (which neither I did). So I came out and the dancefloor was already started. I missed dessert. Chocolate cake. blech. I started going around getting pictures. I looked for Steve and eventually found him and we got our pictures. He's so nice. I found my English teacher so I ended up talking to her for a half an hour and then I got some more, and she took pictures of people with me and for me. Then I was dancing to the electric and chacha slides and the perculator. I ask Taylor to ask Steve if he'd dance with me. Taylor comes back and says "He said yes, and he'll be over" about 20 minutes later he walks by and waves to me, I wave back. Then i didn't see him the rest of the night. I took a picture of Kevin taking off Felicia's garter and then a picture of her taking mine off. I go over to my table to grab something and I notice the little pile of stuff I made (with my name on it!) wasn't there. So I'm like "What the fuck? I had my name on this on purpose" (I was later informed Kelly had taken it apart). I made a new pile then I walked away. Kevin was like "we're gonna go, meet me over at that door." so I went to get my stuff and my pile was taken apart again (this time it was Taylor) and I got really pissed at that point, I grabbed one of the champange glasses, yelled "I'M FUCKING SICK OF THIS!!!" and smashed it on the table. Grabbed my purse and left. Felicia comes running after me saying "You might be suspended for that!!!" (which I havent even been asked about it by a teacher). I said "I don't really care."

Kevin drops off Felicia and we pick up Eric and Jen and go to Tom Jones. The line was halfway around the building due to four proms being held. So we said fuckit and went to Denny's. Couple of CHI groups showed up and that was it. Then i went home.. and the babe that just moved in on my street a couple of weeks ago got taken away by the ambulance for overdosing on Angel Dust. Smartass. Had her kid in the house too. Then I went to bed (like 3 or 4am).

Cousin's party (Kyle), developed pictures, rained all weekend, and today is the Day Of Silence. My principal said we can start a GSA in our school next year. Sweet.

Later. No one reads these.

..it is silver and silent..
Well.. I felt like writing 'cause I beleive it will stop my head from exploding.

First off, yesterday was a disaster. I enjoyed my day, passing out Holographic *N SYNC Valentine's cards, and getting a few cards in return. Came home and let Steph come over since she felt bad that I had no plans. We invited Mike Jordan over 'cause he wasn't doing anything. Soon after my mom turns on bitch mode and goes "Steph has to leave. NOW." So I turned and was like "Uhh.. sorry steph =/ You.. have to leave. And it's not my choice." Then right after she left, my phone rings. It's Mike. "Hey I'm at the Wawa.. almost there" "Uhh... I'm SOOOOO sorry.. no one is allowed over.. I tried to IM you, but I guess you weren't there. I'll tell you about it later though." I felt so bad!!! I was told to get off the computer and it was around 6 or 6:30. I had to take all 4623472457 (more like 5 or 6) pairs of shoes to my room and a bunch of other shit.. so now as I start getting a little bit of room in my room, I have to pile MORE shit in there. On top of that, Frankie AND Mariah died. All I have left is the suicidal freak named Paul. Speaking of which, I need to clean the big tank 'cause he's in the little thinger right now.. and his water is a bit cold. So, this weekend I plan on clearing out a spot in my "box" of a room so I can bring the computer up, so then my mom won't have to deal with it down here. I also brought up all 621597 DVDs that I own so now the living room looks completely EMPTY except all my shit on the computer desk.

So then me and my mom are watching American Idol, and she gives me my present.. pretty socks with hearts and flowers. And then we're pretty okay.. watched Dr. Phil with Paula Abdul on it.. blah blah.

This morning I'm running a bit late.. dumbass me.. I find a cup to put my cappuchino in, and then fucking leave it on the stove as I rush to the bus stop >.< Smart. Then we get there and we're given the prompt: "Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread in it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves... All things connect." And we had to write five paragraphs supporting and explaining it. I was like "WHAT!?!?!?" I walked out of there when we were dismissed and walked up to my one English teacher and said "My head is going to explode!!!" But then my day went allright after that.. fifth period we JAMMED to Backstreet Boys. Mr. Konigsberg is obsessed with the song "I Want It That Way" so we listened to that, and then I freaked people out by knowing all the words to all the songs put on.. then by the end of the period, everyone was singing along.. Steve Noval even came in and started singing. I was like "Break it down, Steve!!" and he's like "Do I know this one... wait.. yeah. Haha" and then left. Then came lunch. No one was at the table when I had my food so I was kinda spacing out.. Briana asked if anything was wrong, and at that moment... nothing was. I was just spaced. I spaced out again staring into my empty milk carton when Heather asked for a quarter. But then we were talking about some things.. and I just felt really weird. I didn't want to say anything though.. Brie asked what was wrong again.. and I said nothing. She got like thisclose to my face and asked again. And I just stared at her eyeball 'till she started singing fall out boy"s" songs. I wanted Kris to pierce my spetum today, but when she said that she'd be right back.. she never came back. Hopefully tomorrow if she's not being all distant.

I'm just in a weird mood. Once Eric (yeah.. the Gay boyfriend) gets home and gets his hair cut, he's taking me out to Christiana Mall.. I think he's meeting up with someone, but I don't care. I'm getting out. Then he's going to take me to the mall tomorrow night to meet up with this girl that I planned on meeting up with since my mom won't let me take the car. Friday is Kaitlyn day. Movies movies movies and possibly sleep. Just where though?

Yeah. Leave my friends alone. You don't like when I get close to yours, so leave mine the fuck alone. You wonder why I'm pissy. >.<

I figured something out. My one friend explained to me how when they feel like someone is going to leave them, they leave first. And what I figured out about myself is that when someone starts doing that to me, I help to push them away. I pull out everything that I can to make it worse and to push them farther away. I guess it's because I don't want to feel a lot of regret or anything so I kinda help people leave so it's not like "well.. I didn't do anything.. why did this happen..?" I dunno. I'm gonna stop now so I can do some stuff.

..just spinning in circles..
Wow. I hate myself even more than I thought. Yesterday was all right (got called to the principals because Paste Face is a fucking pussy, but besides that...) I hate my mom so much. She got thisclose to punching me in the face yesterday. She went out for a ride and I had a fucking breakdown. Crying, screaming, throwing shit (all while doing chores). I went upstairs and I don't know why, but I ended up taking a handful of tylenol. And there were at LEAST six of them in my hand. Then I watched Corpse Bride for the second time that night (Earlier I watched it at Steph's), took a shower, and went back into my room to put it on again. That's when I heard my mom home. Greaaaaaaaaaaat. Nothing happened, plus I had my door locked.

Today I wore ALL fucking Good Charlotte. I dunno, I wanted a flashback... to ninth grade. But.. boy, was I wrong. All day, sitting there in the same Good Charlotte pants, Good Charlotte shirt, Good Charlotte necklace, and same color hair as ninth grade, I felt exactly like I did in ninth grade. Miserable, depressed, to myself, angry with everyone, and just all around horrible. I want to change out of it, but I feel so comfortable with the whole "Good Charlotte"-ness of it. But then again, it's making me feel like shit. Last time I cried? After I got off the phone with my mom. Before then? Walking through the doors coming home from school. Before that? Read above. Yeah, so it wasn't a good past twentyfour hours. Ugh, I forget what I was going to put.. and I'm on the phone with Steph now which doesn't help the memory. LOL

Oh. I hate Steve Barrar (the state representative asshole guy).