|
lilkristen
|
::
2003 7 August :: 10.13pm
:: Mood: bored still
:: Music: My Own Worst Enemy, Lit
ok heres where me and my cousin were scared shitless...it was late late at night...we're at our aunts beach house and she adopted a kid...hes one now...he got this freaky looking doll for his birthday that we say seriously looks like chuckie...okay so we're sitting upstairs and my cell rings...i look at the number, i dun recognize it...i answer the phone and say hello? a deep voice on the other end says "open the door." i screamed and hung up the phone and hopped onto the other bed in the room with my cuz, lauren...suddenly, laurens phone rings, with a number she doesnt recognize either but its different from the one that just called me...she says hello? and someone on the other end says "tell the red head to open the door" so we were laughing and screaming at the same time...so she goes to open the door so these ppl will stop calling the cell...we figured it was someone downstairs playing a prank on us...lauren opens the door and starts screaming so i start screaming and im yelling "what!? what!?" and she moves...the chuckie doll that scared us before was sitting in the doorway and fell forward from its sitting position into the room...i screamed louder and we're like hugging each other on the bed and then my our parents walk in and my aunt hysterical laughing at us! and we're like crying cuz we think this thing is possessed or something cuz it scared us so much...they called us from the house phone and from my aunts sister's cell so we wouldnt recognize the numbers...we didnt fall asleep till like 430 that night lmao...
Fly high...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2003 7 August :: 9.43pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Punk Rock 101, Bowling For Soup
didn't i JUST put in an entry??? oh well who cares i wanted to prove to you that i was bored heres the proof...anthony keeps bugging me bout when we wanna chill...and i keep sayin I dont know!!! and he dont get that i really dont know...ewww i just squashed a bug...gross...i hate bugs...oh well...i hope you people are getting a kick out of my oh-so-interesting life...i've decided eric's officially pissed at me since he wont talk to me...at least i have a computer to tell everything to...this is my life lmao...wow i wanna talk to ashley and josh, i've decided im giving josh my cell number the next time i talk to him through ashley...can you see how obsessive i am?? i said the exact same thing to ashley and she said she can so im not going out of my mind thinking im overly obsessive...i get really obsessive over josh with her...i get overly obsessive about that guy with ali...i have to face it...im just an obsessive person...i still cant get over the last time a joke was played on me...that was like 3 weeks ago...i'll tell you about that later...wow anthony just believed me when i told him i smoked as a joke...hes such an ass hole
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060: i smoke
FeArDaRkSLaYeR: thats ok i guess
ha ha ant...you suckk. alright i will post this entry for you all to read and then i will give my story about how the shit was scared outta me...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2003 7 August :: 9.30pm
:: Mood: seriously happy and hyper yet still a lil annoyed
:: Music: Aerials, System of a Down
Well I guess I should begin to explain my mood...aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! most of you in school know of the hot hot hot hot hot i could go on forever hot guy that lives in LI...well his dad called tonight! we're goinn to see him!! i did an EXTREMELY happy dance as ashley witnessed lmao...ashley i think you witness a lil too much of what i do haha...i cant wait!!!!! im gunna get so high on sour apple for that its gunna be scary! ((watch out all!)) but no, i dont know the date yet oh well as long as i know im going during the summer i dont really care when!
the still a lil annoyed part of my mood is what we are up to noww...yes, the guy i was talking about above read the journal, heh...yeah he's like "kris im sorry" and didnt talk to me for the rest of the night...hahaha...i dont know why i find that funny...oh well...if he dun wanna talk to me i wont make him and get arrested for stalking or something which with my luck will probably eventually happen to me lmao.
alright now im just going to talk about the rest of my life...em called my cell today just cuz she forgot a name...::sigh:: sad child she is...the other emily feels very special tonight cuz shes in tony lovato's info!!! yay em!!! ummm...ali never called me back tonight...grrr...now i have to kill her...nahh jp i luv her...uhh...im running out of shit since i told you everything that happened in my life in the past hour lol...can you see im bored????
Fly high...
|
|
lilkristen
|
::
2003 7 August :: 6.47pm
:: Mood: rejected
:: Music: Like Glue, Sean Paul
yay! my first entry in my journal! yes, i made it a good month ago yet still havent written in it...sad sad, i knoww... i really like this guy...heh, and i thought he was single when he told me he might actually have feelings for me...totally led me on and then told me he was still with ash...heh...figures...no one can consider how kris might feel once she finds out these things...ohh that pissed me off...can you see why my mood was rejected at the top? heh...grrr im waiting for ashley ((diff ash)) to sign on cuz i wanna talk bout her damn gorgeous friend josh...oh he looks so sexy in the pic! and his favorite band's CD is in my stereo right now!!! hahahahaha...yes, i have talked to him before...he cool...likes my cookie and cupcake icons lol...says their yummy...me and ashley say he's yummy lol...alright well i think i shall escort myself to the rrc...my home, which megan always makes fun of me for cuz i live in there. well poo you megan haha...i'll write more another time...lataa
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 31 July :: 7.00pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: chevelle - don't fake this
leaving tomorrow morning
i'm just sittin here.. i got off the fone with my baby jim. i'm sittin here starin at a picture of us that's sitting by my computer and talking to casey.. i'm hoping jim gets her really soon so i can just break down and cry on his shoulder. :)
i guess were leaving tomorrow early in the morning for bethany beach. (in delaware) we'll be back either the 9th or 10th.. (which is next saturday or sunday) thats a whole week. i'm so glad that jim's coming with me.. other wise i don't think that i'd even go. i hate the beach. i'm not a very 'beachy' kinda person. i'm more of a 'sit in the shade and read a book/listen to music' kinda person. but hey, what can ya do? hopefully jim won't make me go into the ocean to much.. i don't wanna get tan or anything. >.< we get the "den" which is cool, cause it's the only room downstairs. :-D besides the kitchen and the living room/dining room. so yay.
earlier today my mom my sisters and i went and got our hair cut.. i just got layers, it's a little bit shorter.. it's not really what i wanted, but fuck it. who cares? i can't believe myself because i almost started crying after sam got her hair done. it looked/s really cute.. and i just kept thinking to myself "why can't my hair look like thaT???" and i actually started tearing up.. i am seriously pathetic. getting jealous of my own little sisters hair? wtf, i'm dumb. but then again, everyone knows that.
i'll write when i get back.. i bet that'll be a long entry. ha.
-x|x- me
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 30 July :: 11.18pm
:: Mood: sad
can't handle shit anymore
it just really hit me today, that i can't handle as much shit as i used to.. i mean, i almost started crying when my mom yelled at me.. (for "looking" at underware.) she was like 'whats your obession with underware? i saw you looking at them like 3 times." meanwhile, i wasn't even looking at them.. i just walked through them because it was the only way to get outta the one isle i was in. all the other ways were blocked by people.. i mean, jesus. she had no right to yell at me.. i didn't do anything. i had to stop myself from crying til i got home.. then i just went in my room.. blah, i don't wanna talk about it.
jim and i got into a fight again this morning.. well, it wasn't even really a fight.. i just sorta hung up on him because i got mad. i don't know what's wrong with me anymore, i just get mad all the time, for the stupidest little things. i'm so pathetic. i don't know why he's still with me.. he can do so much better than me..
i guess were goin to the beach on thursday night/friday morning (we don't know which one yet) i don't even want to go. i'm miserable anymore. i should be happy, i love jim with all my heart, i really do.. but i just can't be happy. but i guess i'll just make the best of it, and try to have fun or whatever..
i have to get myself back together, i'm practicly falling apart.. :(
"She was a fake. It wasn't easy to admit, but that's what she was. She pretended to be strong, even when her guts shook and her palms grew clammy. She led people to think she really didn't need anybody in her life, even though her soul cried out for it at times. She pretended nothing bothered her, and if it did, she played games with her head."
-x|x- not all here
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 29 July :: 8.19pm
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: korn - i did my time
i hate younger people
if i had the chance to kill everyone in the grade down from mine, i'd do it in a second. i don't think that even 5 of them have any sence what so ever! they're stupid! jesus christ.. they all should just drop off of the face of the earth and eat shit.
I ESPECIALLY HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO SOME STUPID SHIT FOR ATTENTION!!! i swear to god, people that just "cut" for attention, give people that cut a bad fuckin reputation. it pisses me the fuck off. i mean, i don't ever talk about cutting.. ever, to anyone.. and it just pisses me off when people sit there and practicly SHOW THEY'RE "CUTS" OFF. get a fuckin life you stupid fucks!
jesus christ, you need to learn to be yourself, because there are a lot more people in this world with a lot more problems.
everyone just needs to stop doing things because you think it's "cool".. most likely what you're doing is pretty fuckin stupid.
-x|x- fuck off.
2 freebirds |
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 29 July :: 1.19am
:: Mood: drained
jim
8 months today baby.. i love you so much. i hope know we'll be together for the rest of our lives, and i mean that with all my heart.
you're my whole life baby.. you're the light in my darkness.. and if you weren't here, all i'd have is mr. bang.. and he just doesn't fill that spot in my heart like you do.
jim+jena
3 freebirds |
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 26 July :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: some rap SHIT
i woke up at like 10, and amy, her mom, sister and i went down the to the firehall to start doin shit for amys grams *suprise* birthday party.. but first we went to a couple different stores to get some other things that we needed (like balloons, and table covering and some other things) so we got those things and we went back to the firehall.. amy and i worked on covering the tables with the table covering stuff.. and we had to get all the same kinda chairs.. which doesn't seem like a big job, but it fuckin is god damnnit!! after a while we got tired of doin that, soo we started cuttin up the fruit for the fruit salad.. there is so much food for tomorrow. lol amy allison and i had a grape fight. it was fun.. lmao, i got hit right between the eyes!! (god damn you amy!! hahaha!!) later when we finally finished covering the tables, there was a little bit left over, and i was messin around, and made a cape for myself outta it.. oh man, it was great shit. haha.. we finally got finished with everything around 4:00.
we came home and helped amys gram wrap some baby shower presents.. lmao, SHE HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH THE SCISSORS ACCIDENTLY.. haha anyways, later we went to wal*mart and giant eagle.. (giant bird.. haha amy) and we got the rest of the things that we needed for tomorrow.. so we came home, and made pretzel salad, and jim came down for a while.. then amy and i ordered a stromboli from kuzins, and then here we are..
jim's outside waiting for me to get done writing in here..
i'm exhausted.. ahh jesus.
1 freebird |
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 25 July :: 11.40pm
:: Mood: mad
fuck this.
i'm at amys.. i'm stayin til monday sometime, then jim and i are probably going to go back to my house if he wants to.. whatever, i don't really know yet.. today we woke up around 10, and then we went to washington to get amys moms check cashed.. and then we came back to bentlyville, and stopped at burger king.. -sighs- so i got a double cheese burger with fries and a coke. i only ate half of the burger, and only about 10 fries, and some coke.. when we got home, i got a shower and then we called randi, and walked around until about 5.. then randi went home, and amy and i waited for her mom to get home so we could go to wal*mart, and go out to eat.. we went to dennys, and i got a piece of french toast a dippy egg, and some of those home-fry things? i forget what they're called.. i tried to eat it all.. but i didn't.
i've been really annoyed lately with just everyone.. i don't know why anymore. i just can't take peoples shit as much as i could anymore. it just fuckin pisses me off.. i swear i'm gonna fuckin blow soon.
7 days to the beach.
xx.jena
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 24 July :: 1.01am
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: staind - so far away
life.. who cares anymore?
Personality Disorder Test
xx.jena
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 23 July :: 2.28am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: die trying - oxgyens gone
just a survey
Part One: Personal Information
1. NAME: jena
2. SEX: female
3. BIRTHDAY: 2-22-87
4. WHERE DO YOU LIVE: pennsylvania
5. HEIGHT: 5'9 i think.
6. SHOE SIZE : 10 1/2
7. FIRST CRUSH: i don't even remember
8. PARENTS: darlene and jim
9. RIGHTY OR LEFTY: righty
10. WHATS YOUR SIGN: aquarius
11. WHATS THE FIRST IMPRESSION OF YOU: quite, nice, easy to make smile.. lol
12. EVER BEEN IN LOVE: yeah.. i am right now.. jim<3
13. PUPPY LOVE: yeah, i guess.
14. HAVE A TATTOO: no, but i want one.
Part Two: How do you like your men?
1. BOXERS OR BREIFS: both are sexy. o_0
2. LONG OR SHORT: what the hells that supposed to mean!? lol
3. DARK OR BLONDE: both are cute
4. TALL OR SHORT: tallllll
5. 6 PAC OR MUSCLAR ARMS: -shrugs-
6. MR. SENSITVE OR MR. FUNNY: a bit of both (just like jim. he's perfect)
7. GOOD GUY OR BAD GUY: bad guy
8. DARK OR LIGHT EYES: light eyes
9. HAT OR NO HAT: hat
10. EARS PEIRCED OR NOT: doesnt matter
11. FRECKLES OR NONE: none, but a couple are definitly cute
12. STUBBLE OR NEATLY SHAVED: neatly shaved!!!! ahh!! lol
13. RUGGED OR SPORTY: rugged
14. ACCENT OR AMERICAN: american
Part Three: Foods
1. CHOCOLATE MILK OR HOT CHOCOLTE: hot chocolate
2. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING: burger king
3. COKE OR PEPSI: pepsi
4. ROOT BEER OR DR. PEPPER: dr. pepper
5. TEA OR COFFEE: tea
6. MILK/DARK/WHITE CHOCALATE: milk chocolate
7. VANILLA OR CHOCALATE: vanilla
8. CAKE OR PIE: depends on what kind.
Part Four: Pick one
1. MARRY PERFECT FRIEND OR PERFECT LOVER: perfect lover.. friendship is part of love
2. CATS OR DOGS: dogs
3. 1 PILLOW OR 2 : two
4. W/ OR W/O ICE CUBES: water with ice, but nothing else.
5. TOP OR BOTTOM : top!!
6. WINTER/SPRING/SUMMER/FALL: fall/winter
7. SKIING OR BOARDING: i've never done either
8. BIKING OR BLADING: um, i don't like outdoor things.. lol
9. ROCK/RAP/R&B/PUNK/ALT/SKA/TECHNO/SWING/COUNTRY: rock, punk
10. NIGHT OR DAY: night
11. GLOVES OR MITTENS: gloves
12. DRESSED OR UNDRESSED: dressed
13. BUNK OR WATER BED: water bed. ^-^
14. MAKE PLANS OR GO ALONG: go along
15. TRUTH OR DARE: truth
16. MTV OR VH1: mtv
17. OCEAN OR POOL: neither, i don't like to swim.
18. SHOWERS OR BATHS: mmm shower
19. LOVE OR LUST: love
20. SILVER OR GOLD: silver
21. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS: diamonds
22. PENCIL OR PEN: pen
23. SUNRISE OR SUNSETS: sunrise
24. BLIND OR DEAF: blind, i gotta have music!
Part Five: Favorites
1. COLOR: green, black
2. NUMBER: 18
3. SUBJECT: ..nothing
4. CLOTHING BRAND: black stuff. lol
5. SHOE BRAND: doesn't really matter.
6. SPORT TO PLAY: nothing are you kidding me?! hahaha.. me.. play a sport?! lmao
7. DRINK: alcoholic-- mikes hard lemonade and smirnoff.. and non-alcoholic-- orange juice, water
8. ANIMAL: dogs
9. HOLIDAY: valentines day, and halloween
10. FAVORITE LINE FROM A MOVIE: "i'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her." - notting hill
11. BAND: have more than just one--- incubus, staind, fingereleven, our lady peace, eve 6, the used, nothingface, smile empty soul, linkin park, mxpx, kittie
12. MOVIE: moulin rouge - shakespear in love - girl, interrupted
13. PLACE 2 CHILL: don't really matter.
14. FLOWER: hmm.. white roses
15. PERFUME: i don't really know..?
Part Six: Future
1. HOW MANY KIDS: 2 or 3
2. COLLEGE: no
3. JOB: dunno yet.
4a. WHAT DOES YOUR IDEAL B/F OR G/F LOOK LIKE: jim.
4b. HOW DO THEY ACT: just like jim does. he's my baby forever and ever.
Part Seven: Would you could you? if so; who, what, where, why, how?
1. Move anywhere: maine with my baby jim
2. Dye your hair: i do it all the time.. different colors.. whatever i feel like.
3. Meet one famous person: don't care.
4. Live with one person the rest of your life: jim
5. Name one thing you love: jim.. he's my everything.
6. Name one thing that embarrasaes you: myself.
7. Do you like school? fuck no.
8. Do you like to talk on the telephone? only with certain people.
9a. Do you have your own line? no
9b. Can we have your number? no
10. Do you like to dance? lol sorta.
11. Are you scared to ask some one out? i have jim, i don't need to ask anyone out.
12. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? lol, yes! plenty of times!
13. Have you ever thought you were gonna die? yeah, but mostly i just wish i would.
14. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? just one.. his name is mr. bang, oh, lol and jim.
15. Have you ever broken/fractured a bone? yeah, a couple actually.
16. Do you have any piercings? yeah, bellybutton, and ears
17. Do you wear braces? no, used to though
18. Do you consider yourself a good listener? yeah.. 98% of the time.
19. Can you swim? uh-huh. don't really like to though.
20. Do you sing in the shower? not anymore.
21. Do you think cheerleading is a sport? fuck no. fuck cheerleaders.
22. Have you ever stolen anything? yeah all the time.
23. What's on your ceiling? my lights..
24. What's you worst injury ever? i have a couple.. once when i was skating on ice with kelly and i fell and had to get stiches on my chin, and secondly when i spraned my neck!! lol
25. What's the hardest thing about growing up? being jealous, getting hurt by the people that you love -or used to love.
26. Do you believe in love at first sight? yeah, i do.
27. Have you ever been in love? yeah.. i am right now.
28. What are you wearing right now? my tank top that says "i have issues" and my joe boxers.
29. Favorite place to be? anywhere with my baby jim.
xx.jena
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 22 July :: 10.16pm
:: Mood: spunky
:: Music: less than jake - shes gonna break soon
o0o0o
-sings- "with so many problems in her life, it really comes as no suprise.. she's gonna break soon, she's gonna break soon, she's gonna break.. "
xx.jena
Fly high...
|
|
xxinterrupted
|
::
2003 20 July :: 6.16pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: godsmack - serenity
i took a couple 'tests'.. here are the results.
Mood Analysis Test
Results for Test Taken Sunday, July 20, 2003
"You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.
Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.
Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offense, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.
You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.
The need for admiration and to be regarded as 'someone special' is perhaps one of the foremost aims in your life at this time. You would like to perhaps do something outrageous or anything that will give you the chance to be recognized as someone special. This desire has now almost become an obsession and in your own way you are trying to fulfill this 'complex' by ensuring you are the center of attention, both at work or play, or in the home. Stop trying so hard and you will find that people will like you for who you are - not for who you are pretending to be."
Are You Happy?
"Seems as though you're feeling down and out lately - but don't despair! Maybe it's time for a change... you, and only you, hold the key to your happiness. Try adopting a positive outlook on life and you'll be smiling in no time!"
xx.jena
Fly high...
|
|
