AnnaLeBelle
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2003 29 November :: 9.20pm
Still grounded GRRR
Dear Jocelyn and Sayna!
I been grounded! It sucks! I destroyed my room (Because I was moving furniture around) And now my lazy behind doesn't feel like cleaning it! HELP! Or I don't get money this week to ^^;
Little Dark Child
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 26 November :: 4.45pm
Peeeeeeeeeeeeenis!
Nothing really important happened.. sorry for not being on.. I got grounded! Anyways.. Me and Jocelyn and Shannon are friends again! In fact I'm a Jocelyn's house right now and we're having so much fun! We were watching Signs and now shes cussing Hero out.. Er.. so I better go before he hates me forever!
Love you alls, Little Dark Child
Word of the day: Jocelopelyn!
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 24 November :: 6.54pm
:: Mood: Killer
:: Music: Kill me: Sintra Kelm
...oh so you saw the counslor to eh?
<><><><><><><><>
Yes i've beena little off lately..three huge fights each concerning my closets friends...fuckin shit!
one with kat, one with Nami another with Taku and Josh and Zach...i got some bruises to..great fun...
haven't been on lately...
im sery bunny, im not really in the best lately..im like total bitch mood along with depression so i may not be the best person to talk to...
Damn it all...well to some a few conversations up i'll give you the brief
Kat: "so why do you think im a bitch?
Sayna:"becvause your always being mean to me and alissa, and your mom..no wonder she wants you to go with your dad!
Kat: ....fuck you! *click off da phone*
~~~~~
Nami:yeah well i'm not in the best of moods to deal with your problems.. i reallycan't care about you when your the one who told scott that i was preg. it was our secret
Sayna: well jesus christ..your huge he knows on his own he just asked what the fuck was going on
Nami: he kicked me out
Sayna: yeah and now your living with Rani..thats good you hated him anyways!
Nami: i really can't talk now..im going *gets off phone*
***
Zach: yeah she was up on top of me giving me a lap dance
Sayna: i was not you nasty Jerk!
Aaron:....Zach;s my best friend and your my girlfrienmd..who am i suppose to believe?
Sayna/Zach: "ME!"
Josh: she wasn't on Zach
Aaron: "Stay out of this..."
Sayna: Josh was there just ask him! he didn't see me do jack squat to that nasty fuck!
Jos: she didn't do anything..she wouldn't do anything you knwo she hates him!
Aaron:..god damnit...i don't know who to believe
Sayna:....Aaron you believe me right?
Zach: dude she's a slut!
Sayna: fuck you Zach! *slaps zach*
Josh: you liked her your just trying to break them up ass hole!
Zach: Stupid bitch! *jumps on Sayna and starts punching he rand trying to choke her
Aaron: What the fuck?!
Josh:*pulls Zach off of Sayna*
Sayna: you stupid Nigger i hate you! (im not racist but thats what pisses him off the most)
Zach: fuck you!
Aaron: What the hell's your problem man?!
Josh: *lets go of Zach cause aarons standing infront of him*
Aaron:*pushes Zach back with his chest*
Josh: *helps Sayna up an holds her cause its cold as fuck outside*
Then we fought verbaly till Aaron had to leave...
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 21 November :: 10.31pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: The wind
Sorry to everyone.
Dear Sayna,
for reasons unsaid this journal will no loner be dedicated to my Nee-chan, Jocelyn. It will be instead, dedicated to Ke'Chara Sayna.
I had a mental breakdown a few hours ago.. because of Shannon and Jocelyn. I don't DESERVE this much. I got what I got.. but just calling someone a whore, is that any excuse to be mentally and emotionally abused? no.. I don't think so.. I think that people think because I'm so shy and fragile, they can use me as their punching bag. Just to see it break. They do it for the pleasure of seeing me hurt.
Ke'chara.. I was shaking so bad, I couldn't breath and I was sobbing so loudly. I am so glad no one was home. I was about to call a hospital at one point.. the police another. Well, Ke'chara.. I must go and resume my depressed thoughts.. nighty nightd. I love yahs bunches!
Yours truely: Bunny-chan
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 19 November :: 7.42pm
:: Mood: crushed
What the fuck is with people these days?!
Dear Jocelyn,
Today was fine wasn't it? Just a chipper day for you. Right? Today I went to the guidance counselor. She suggested maybe I talk to Kristin or Morgan about the whole thing. Me and Eldis.. Feh. Right. I hate everything about everyone at the current moment.
Couselor: Well, have you ever considered maybe she is feeling the same way?
Me: I honestly have.. but by the way she looks at me and acts like I don't even exsist, I really don't think she cares.
Conselor: And how do you feel about this? I'm getting the sense that you feel betrayed because you thought this was someone who you could trust.
Me: I honestly did think I could trust her.
Conselor: Maybe you should make some new friends.
Me: It's quite honestly scary. I mean, I never made friends well to begin with and now this... it makes me even wonder if there really are such things as friends... at least with her.
Conselor: And you never noticed any kind of behavior like this before?
Me: No.. even when she WAS with Morgan. Anyways.. It's not like it matters. Morgan comes before friends with her all of the time. But the real reason I think she isn't talking to me was because he threatened their relationship.
Conselor: Oh?
Me: Yes... A year and 2 months.
Conselor: Well.. I think you should confront her and talk to her about it. Maybe we could call her down and--
Me: No no no no no... I would never want to confront her.
Conselor: Why not?
Me: It'll break what precious little we have left..
Conselor: Maybe Morgan?
Me: No.. I really don't even care anymore.
Conselor: Well. You should try to talk it out with her. You have to go to class now.
Me: Okay.. bye.
And that was it in a nut shell. so I grabbed my books and walked into Mrs. Vitale's class. Of course, I couldn't do my reading log because of the counselor but its my own fault,I guess. So I went to meet you guys ver by the gym and as I walked past Mrs. Vitale, she grabbed me and asked me if anything was wroing....
Her: Alexa, are you okay?
Me: Yes.. I'm fine.
Her: Because when you came in it looked like you were really upset.
Me: Yea.. I know.
Her: Are you sure your okay? You don't wanna talk about it?
Me: Yea.. I don't have time to explain now.. maybe later.
Her: Okay.. well. I didn't want to say it in class. I was really worried about you.
Me: Okay.. bye Mrs Vitale!
So.. it seems even the teachers can tell when I'm depressed. Mr. LaGrange can tell.. Mrs. Vitale can tell. I wonder who else can... maybe everybody else? I really question the fact that only adults can befriend me.. I really do. I just want to be a normal kid.. is that to much to ask?
On a lighter note, I got a date on Saturday with my crush so I'm hoping I get happy before then.
Word for the day: Neko -In Japanese, neko refers to a cat. A popular example is Kuro Neko from Trigun. his name literally translates to Black Cat.
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 19 November :: 6.46pm
:: Mood: Pissed off shitty blah whf mood
:: Music: F-minus
Hate you
...okay all, this is Sayna again, i just wanted you all to know that im not in a good mood, life is sucking and im depressed and all i want is some fucking ass...n/r, j/k. i really want to go out with this kid named greg, he's awesome but i am stuck with Aaron-taku, until i can break up with him...but greg is going out with another girl and i don't want to break them up..so i guess i'll wait til they break up before making my move..we already flirt alot.. (any comments or advice would be real real nice!)
Dearest Bunny, i am very sery about your troubles..who ever these damn people are who are spreading lies about you.. i wish them to burn burn burn until they can't burn no more...nasty lieing bitches deserve to die..so when they relize what they said isn't true..or when it comes to judgement day..they will either get what they deserve, or repent to you my Ke'Chara...tootles to all
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 18 November :: 6.04pm
:: Mood: Fuck the World
:: Music: I Hate Everything About You : Three Days Grace
Everybody can just go and shove s tick up there asses. I really don't care anymore.
Dearest Jocelyn,
Is it such a sin to be weak? Is that why they think it doesn't matter? To stop being my friend.. they think its not a crime. That it won't hurt. They're wrong. All wrong. Thats okay, I've never really had a true friend before you really. What do they think I did with the stranger? They were watching me the whole time.. why now would they spread a story untrue? Kristin, if you do not wish to be my friend, than just say so. Do not beat around the bush and drop subtle hints. I wished you would be there for me but your just like them! Just a sunny day friend! Well you can take your words and eat them up because I will not believe anymore lies. I will not tolerate anymore of this 'friendship' that is based upon nothing but hatred. So goodbye to you. Goodbye to you. I hope your friends leave and you'll see what its like. Living your life only trusting one person.
In commemeration to my life at this curent state, here is a poem.
I watch you laugh.
I watch you smile.
Oh, how it sickens me.
Our friendship, you defiled.
I will cut. I will cry.
I will bleed. I will lie.
A devil's scar has been awakened.
An angels song will fail.
For once I am the outsider,
Looking into your twisted little game.
I see what your doing, I see all to well.
I know all the shame.
So, take everything you've said.
Take it back; eat your words.
I don't need you! No I don't!
Shut up! Shut up! No more cords!
Cords saving lies, to that disk in your head.
Bloody handprints on the glass.
No more hiding behind your mask,
I ripped it off for you to last.
Bye bye bye bye
Falling forever in an eternal pit
Bye bye bye bye
The question is posted, the fire is lit.
By Alexa Rae
I know it is not that great, Jocelyn. Yours are better. That is my bleeding heart. It is down on the floor. Shes stepped on it to many times for it to be ignored.
Thought for the day: I question God and the little things He makes us suffer through..
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 17 November :: 6.16pm
:: Mood: About to cry..
:: Music: Linkin Park; Faint
People are pitiful
Dear Jocelyn,
Pitiful beings these creatures called humans are. What makes me think I am better, you ask? Nothing. I AM human..I know I am pitiful. But is being weak and innocent an excuse for walking all over someone?
You know, dear sister, I would never kiss anyone I didn't know. I'd much rather save it for someone I loved or knew. So who has been saying I kissed a complete stranger? Someones thrill for excitement has gotten me into trouble with the strangers significant other. Is that why onee-sama was being so mean today? I think I might take refuge with you..
Thought for the day: Lifes a bitch, then yah marry one.
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 16 November :: 12.25pm
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: My Will;First season Inuyasha ending theme
I wonder..
Dear Jocelyn,
Nothing happened much at the party. I got to see Kristin's house. It is actually very nice and lavishly furnished. My father is really upset with me because Kristin's mom forgot to call and leave her number. He was yelling at me over the phone. It's amazing how easily you actually can cry. Please do not tell, Jocelyn. But.. yes. I burst out in a fit of tears. Kristin offered to take the blame..but I would not let her. Chantelle is alot nicer than we take her for, you know? Maybe, if I'm really good, I can come and sleep over with you. Would you like that? Anything to get out of this damned house..
Thought for the day: Oh my gosh! Lestat from Queen of the Damned is sooooooo HOT!
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 15 November :: 10.01am
:: Mood: artistic
:: Music: Faint by Linkin Park
Sorry I haven't posted! Been really busy!
Dear Jocelyn,
I am sorry, sister, for not writing to you in so long! I will tell you what happened from the 13th- today..
November 13, 2003
Today was no acception from any other day. It was the same. Boring. So, not much to write here.
November 14 and 15, 2003.
Today was actually pretty fun. I think somebody told Kristin how left out I've been feeling because shes been paying alot of attention to me and being very nice, Onee-sama. Morgan was in a very good mood today and was actually nice. He gave me a hug to(which is odd considering him). Onee-sama Kristin got her eyebrow pierced. It looks cool! Shes coming to pick me up laterfor her party. The theme is gothic, so I gotta dress as old fashioned goth as possible! I'm thinking about wearing a violet sports bra underneath of my black fishnet shirt and then wearing some type of pants and my cloak. I love my cloak..it smells like pasta and cigarettes for some reason though.. So, I'm gonna go curl my hair. Wish me luck! Hopefully, I won't scald myself with the curlers!
Thought for the day: How can someone get turned on by READING or WATCHING porn? I just don't get it.. *virgin mind*
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 12 November :: 7.07pm
:: Mood: predatory
:: Music: The Distillers: Hall of mirrors
Sayna's bit
well ladys and gentlemen, this is Sayna, umm, bunny said i could and should post a few things now and then..so here my first post:
...i really have nothing to say.. i probably won't have much to say really...heh heh, love my bunny...and uh...well ...i should probably shut up now..its not like im even saying anything...well tootles everyone..be safe and have fun?
(except for that stupid robert kid, you can get killed..i hate you)
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 12 November :: 5.59pm
:: Mood: cold
:: Music: Linkin Park:Lying From You
Yesterday and today.
Oh Jocelyn, why must we be fated to such cruelty? Why must everyone hate me so? My own father..why can he never let me do it the way I want? Is the way I want..really that bad?
I just wanted a pair of boots,father? Why may I not have them? I almost broke my ankle once,you say? Why does that matter? It was just clumsiness you know. The clutziness of a 9-year-old child,living a lie. You don't like what I've become. Its to spite you. Its to make you pay from causing me misery!
Flowers..pretty purple flowers. I carried them in my arms today. The sweet scent wafting upon the air. It truely was a sight, ne, sister? Do not feel obliged to buy me anything..please don't. All I want is your friendship. Your shoulder to cry on, your ears to listen, your words of understanding and your arms of reassurance. Thats all I wish, sister. Now please, let me dream just a little longer so that I may live the life of lies.
You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.
"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."
Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.
As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.
Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Daria from Daria. You are full of sadness
and everything bad. You love to read, and you
are very smart. However, you are cool to
others. Even though you are so smart and quiet,
you seem cool to others. You get mad at others
quickly, but you only show it in your face. You
are very anti-social, but you do have a couple
of friends one or two. You are pretty
depressed. You have very little happiness in
you. You are very different from others. You
make the school seem much better because you
are not the exact same as the other girls. You
are not very religious, however. Actually, you
are not religious at all. Most likely, you are
going to die of cancer - sorry for that. Good
luck desperate person!
What Cartoon Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.
EXTRA: Your personality type is the only one on
this quiz that would enjoy www.life-
blood.cjb.net. Check it out!
What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Comment of the day: (For those of you who know Brittany H..we crack on her all the time. It makes me feel really bad but..) You know how women get breast implants..well do you get penis implants?
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 10 November :: 8.44pm
:: Mood: chipper
It was my birthday today
Dearest Jocelyn,today was my birthday. I had fun, didn't you? I wonder what Bunny-chan got for me. What do you think?
Today I dressed up nice and pretty. I had brown make-up, a khaki skort, a brown pheasent shirt ad khaki sandals. My hair was in pigtails. Everybody was happy to see me happy I suppose because everyone was happy! Morgan dumped an ice pop all over me!!! He got it on you too,Jocelyn!! I'm so sorry to cause you trouble! I thank you for making my happy today, Jocelyn..and dear sister,Bunni-kun.
What did I get,you ask? A complete make up box. Yes, Jocelyn, I did get Manga to. I got Chobits 5 and 8. I got Inuyasha 6. I got 3 How To Draw Manga books. I called you today,Jocelyn. I love you sister. I love you.
Thought for the day: Be content with friends. Do not pick out their flaws,for they could one day be the people your life depends on.
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AnnaLeBelle
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2003 9 November :: 12.10pm
:: Mood: sleepy
Bunny's b-day party!
It's funny how my father's mind works. Its a fasinating feild of endless nothingness and anger. Yes, dear Jocelyn, it is true that he is never satisfied.
The first to arrive was Brian, then Brittani, Margeaux, and Cheyanne. Finally Shannon showed up. No one excluded themselves from the party but Brian..he felt as if he didn't belong with a bunch of freak girls I suppose.
So, in an effort to quail my uneasyness,we went to Publix to see if there were any skaters up there. Sure enough,there was. One in an old people cart kept following us around. He would sit there and stare. Probably just at Brittani..I'm no hottie. We left and as we were walking down the street, a ferrari or something kept turning around and passing us,making wolf howls as they went. How idiotic, don't you think sister?
I then opened my presents. Only two, only two dear Jocelyn. But I didn't need presents. I would have been fine without them. Margeaux and Cheyanne had gotten me those new spikey gel earrings. What joy I felt to that. I turned to Brian's huge box-like gift. I cautiusly opened it by taking off ribbon and paper and inside was Trigun book #1. I am glad now that I did not buy it..yes, glad indeed.
But now is not the time to be so selfish, sister! No, selfish is never good, now is it? So we went into my room and did each others nails and hair. Then, it was time for cake. My father, being the ignorant pig-headed jerk he is,TRIED to give us more than we could eat. (He did give me one present btw becaue I annoyed the hell out of him until he did). Even when its MY party, he still has to have things his way.
The evening ended,dear Jocelyn, by being outside and playing. Playing like little children. After all,we can never get to old to still be a child...
Thought for the day: Never hold in your farts. They will go up your spinal colom and into your brain and rupture your brain!
Word for the day: Doomo arigauto gozaimasu - The Japanese words for a very formal 'Thank you very much!'
Quote of the day: It is better to be hated for what you are,then to be loved for something your not.
With lots of love, Little Dark Child.
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