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| mudpiegrl (profile) wrote, on 11-6-2003 at 8:42pm | |
| Subject: dad and other randomness |
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| My dad and I were talking about instead of gym or dance or whatever choice you have instead of gym, maybe like an artish kinda thing…like instead of four different sports…four different aspects of the arts. And my dad said, “in this country, if you don’t play football, you’re nothing. Most of the time those guys get though college without any academic knowledge because half of it gets knocked out of them during the first few games of the season. We all know it doesn’t take a genius to be a bull in a china shop.” Just thought I’d tell you cuz I thought it was funny. Hm…hmm…hmmm…what to type said the old man as his fingers gently tapped the ancient typewriter. Soon he began to stare out the window at a bird, floating near the glass. Its gray feathers shone as a result of the setting sun. the reflection hit the window, flashed through his glasses and into his eyes. really bad poetry ::blushes::You never had anything I needed I never missed you Didn’t care You weren’t in those dreams That haunted me Nothing reminded me of you No thoughts or time Were wasted on you I don’t hate you I just don’t know you Did I tell you, It was all a lie? I feel so good. I felt like shit all last month and the beginning of this month. I helped Patrice and edy and myself all in one hour. Patrices self-esteem is low...she doesn't know how to be bold. edy is so sick of life. I explained to him how to keep going because he has to reach his goal. Let the string pull him fast then he can run. I think I learned something tonight. no I did learn something. I learned that no matter how much you fight, life is going to go the way it will and trying to change it wont help. You have to adjust yourself to better fit the society you live in. I learned that no matter what people tell you, you are worth what you believe you are, and what it comes down to is that you are what you want to be. If obstacles get in your way, you walk calmly around them instead of hurting yourself trying to break through them. I really learned from Melanie. To just be cool about things, never getting pissed off or upset, because that particular piece of life is irrelevant and will not affect how your future proceeds, unless you make it. If your self-esteem is lowered by a certain occurrence, then you have less of a chance of reaching your goal with substantial hope. I love life. wow...thats old... how come we always live in the fast lane and such if we only gonna end up at a stop light? i thought about it.....cuz an ad for faster internet...if you speed on a highway......you end up at a stoplight right? is like that in life too! cuz is like......why dont we slow down and look at the scenery so to speak......savour the flavour...like eating chocolate........you supposed to suck on them and let them last instead of gobble fifty down in a second...like my dad...any ways...cuz at the end were all going to have the same fate.....maybe given in another way......but ultimatly the same...cuz we all going to die.....like the light...only sometimes.....you catch the light b4 someone else...and.....you dont have much scenery to take in... how come we always live in the fast lane and such if we only gonna end up at a stop light? i thought about it.....cuz an ad for faster internet...if you speed on a highway......you end up at a stoplight right? is like that in life too! cuz is like......why dont we slow down and look at the scenery so to speak......savour the flavour...like eating chocolate........you supposed to suck on them and let them last instead of gobble fifty down in a second...like my dad...any ways...cuz at the end were all going to have the same fate.....maybe given in another way......but ultimatly the same...cuz we all going to die.....like the light...only sometimes.....you catch the light b4 someone else...and.....you dont have much scenery to take in... you know how theres always that little button on your computer games or videos and stuff that says point-blank "HELP" and when you click on it, you look for what you want and they always seem to leave that thing you need...out? ya...is how it goes in life...maybe they just want our computer games and such to be super real life like... but is really no help to us. is kinda like your friends. or your parents... they say...come to me am always here for you.yea then you go and they have too many problems of thier own you feel guilty for telling them too many of yours, or is like you arent SUPPOSED to worry about them, so you dont. Like in the computer game, is not absolutly necessary to find that thing out, but you want to, becuase it would give the extra points needed to pass the level. and when something happen with the person who is "always there", and and you knwo what it is, but you dont wnat them to knw you know, is like that...cant get those points you really need to finish the level...to get slightly deeper inside. so you dont feel like they trust you and end up having a harder time trusting them, which in turn pulls you so far apart from each other is like you just met again. like you dont know enuf about tha comp game...and end up getting bored not being able to beat that same damn level youve played 50 times over...is so similar... how can they say that these are the best years of our lives? what are they smoking? were all changing and our friends are confused and everyone feels lost and pressured and attempting suicide, trying drugs, testing sexual limits. easy? best? i think id rather pay bills then know my friends are so close to death. how i picture it...i can. i see her taking pills, i watch him draw blood with the blade, i saw her blood drip, i imagine how the knife shines, i invision the water overtaking her head, i look at the chain, and i know how far that needle went...i have one friend left who doesnt have the courage to attempt it...but the rest do. these cant be good years if everyone would much rather die...i am probably the happiest of all my friends...ive never even thought about suicide. i want my dreams to come true i want to see who i will marry, watch my kids grow up, fall in love, i wnat to know what life can be i dont want to die. i want to skydive and travel the world. but some people dont some people have so many other things to worry about there is no way they could possibly want to travel and seriously think they are going to. maybe what they say in health class is true...they just want the pain to end. because life is like that computer game...~*~you know how theres always that little button on your computer games or videos and stuff that says point-blank "HELP" and when you click on it, you look for what you want and they always seem to leave that thing you need...out? ya...is how it goes in life...maybe they just want our computer games and such to be super real life like... but is really no help to us. is kinda like your friends. or your parents... they say...come to me am always here for you.yea then you go and they have too many problems of thier own you feel guilty for telling them too many of yours, or is like you arent SUPPOSED to worry about them, so you dont. Like in the computer game, is not absolutly necessary to find that thing out, but you want to, becuase it would give the extra points needed to pass the level. and when something happen with the person who is "always there", and and you knwo what it is, but you dont wnat them to knw you know, is like that...cant get those points you really need to finish the level...to get slightly deeper inside. so you dont feel like they trust you and end up having a harder time trusting them, which in turn pulls you so far apart from each other is like you just met again. like you dont know enuf about tha comp game...and end up getting bored not being able to beat that same damn level youve played 50 times over...is so similar...~*~ yea like that...how come? why is help only there when you dont need it? lol i was a funny child...wait... |
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goose | 11-06-03 9:18pm wow you wrote a lot today |
sweetyas | Stop light, 11-07-03 1:02am I really like the spot light theory, i agree with it, but there is a problem with it (its only cuz im in a disscussing mood) when u take things slow, u tend to notice more tings (which is what u want) but u also notice ur flaws, the flaws of ur friends and just problems which in turn lead to ur last thought suicide. So, maybe going slow isnt the best way. I like going slow though :) |
hyperswimmingirl | 11-07-03 12:47pm That computer game metaphor, completely true. I love the whole "i think id rather pay bills then know my friends are so close to death" |
hyperswimmingirl | 11-07-03 12:49pm That computer game metaphor, completely true. I love the whole "i think id rather pay bills then know my friends are so close to death" |