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| Jacqui-Chan (profile) wrote, on 11-12-2003 at 8:20pm | |
| Current mood: Sympathetic/ Sad Subject: I hate saddness |
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| I went to Corbin's visitation today after school w/ Ariana. I was a little scared to go becuase I knew it would make me really sad but I went anyway and just took a deep breath. It was really a nice place for it to be held. Tons of people from both the middle school and high school were there. Even people that I knew from places other than school and people I didn't know at all were there. I was perfectly fine, a little sad but not crying, until I went by Summer and Rachel and looked at some of Corbin's favorite and most precious things. After that I got really sad and almost cried, but I didn't because I felt I had to be strong for everyone else. When Ariana and I looked at Corbin all I could think was "wake up... just please wake up and let it all be a dream or a false alarm. SOMETHING, just please don't really be gone!!" I didn't know that I would miss him this much, I guess it's one of those you-don't-know-what- you-got-till-it's-gone situations. I didn't actually cry while we were there, just got red-eyed but when I got home I just sat down on my couch and started bawling. I cried there for a while until my sister got home, I didn't want her to see me crying. Last night she said that she didn't know why everyone was making such a big deal out of this, that it was a big deal but most of the people who were sad didn't even know him (which is a total lie, she doesn't know what she's talking about). I'm really sad right now. I was watching the end of Touched By An Angel and a girl sang amazing grace, I started crying again right then... just not as hard. I hate this, I never in a million years expected another one of my friends to die. I say another because in 4th grade Aaron Gurisko died (sorry if I spelt his last name wrong). This week is definetly gonna' be a sad week. Tons of my friends are going to Corb's funeral so they won't be at school tomorrow. I don't want to go to the funeral, I couldn't handle it, it's just too much right now. I'm having a major mental breakdown here. All I want to do is be alone so that I can just cry. Well I suppose I should stop now. I hope you all have a wonderful day, god bless you all. | |
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PaintedOnMyMemory | 11-13-03 3:16pm I understand how you feel. I think. I can't really understand anybody, but I have some idea. Sometimes I just want to be alone so I can just let it all out, but as you said, I try not to cry because I feel I have to be strong for everybody. If you ever need to talk about anything, Jacqui, just come to me. I'll try to help as best as I can. ( ;
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softballchic | i went too, 11-13-03 3:24pm i went to the visitation too Jacqui. and i started to cry. it was so sad. i am gonna miss him to. you can always talk to me! I love ya Jekyll!!! |
rere12389 | 11-14-03 5:26pm i went to both the visitation and the funeral. i cried at both. it really is hard to know that hes gone and never coming back. but we'll get through this. and u don't have to always be strong. sometimes u just need to cry. if u ever need to talk ya know i'm here for ya! luv u *SO* much! |
Jacqui-Chan | Re:, 11-15-03 8:46pm hey, thanks for that. i love u too!! and remember if you need to talk that offer can work both ways!! lylas, buh bye |