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| christini (profile) wrote, on 11-19-2003 at 10:27pm | |
| Current mood: relieved Music: yellowcard- empty apartment |
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| although today school sucked cuza econ... tonight was really good. at youth group the girls n guys got split up and we had a guest speaker on saving yourself and love and stuff like that. after hearing her talking and reading some of those scriptures it completely turned me around, for the better. i thought i was missing some big thing not having a boyfriend but i guess in the long run its for the better. God's sparing me from the heartache he knows im gonna have because thats the way i am, i get too attached. he knows im not mentally ready to have a serious relationship that i can rely on and not depend on. and after reading a scripture on love i really saw that people do over use it. and according to what love really is, i may or may have not had that with emy. maybe a little at the very beginning, but it wasnt there all the way through. i loved him , because nothing else could explain the way i felt about him, and maybe he loved me, but we werent in love. it wasnt what its said to be in the bible. "Love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres." Corinthians 13:4-8 by reading that, i knew right away that thats not what i had. and that its better that i let go. and that I should have listened to God when i asked him if it was meant to be and i got the message that it wasnt. but i kept going and i kept getting hurt. but now i know its not right, and i guess i can move on with more wisdom. yeizi drove me home, and we had a really good conversation on the way. i never really opened up like that about my religios situation and my family except maybe to andrea.but talking to yeizi felt like it really helped, and it felt really good to let it all out and have someone in the path of God telling me that what i was feeling was perfectly fine. it was so reassuring. because all i get from my mom is lecturing on how much of a sin it is to change your religion. but if i never was that to begin with, then there is no changing. and its a lot more sinful to be a religion and not believe it than to be one that your mom doesnt approve of and find belief in it. so it was really good. i love yeizi <3 i just want to thank you andrea for starting to take me to church with you and youth group once in a while during these past few years cause it opened me up. a lot. and i feel a lot better about myself. <3 thanks and happy early birthday cause ill be missing you tomorrow. i =sick :[ |
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| Anonymous | 11-19-03 11:37pm I think you shouldn't listen to the scriptures or to God, I think you should listen to your own heart, because in the end, thats what really matters. |
christini | Re:, 11-20-03 9:31am who is this |
pinkyfers | 11-20-03 8:08pm wasnt there a quote exactly like that in a walk to remember? |
christini | Re:, 11-20-03 8:57pm yeah i think it was a different version of the bible tho.. but pretty much |
Anonymous | Re: Re:, 11-21-03 10:15pm i would have to disagree with the first anonymous, and say god helps you when no one else will or can and although he doesnt always seem to be there when you want him or desire him he is always there when u need him you just need to open up alittle( sorry for the lack of perods or commas) |
christini | Re: Re: Re:, 11-21-03 10:25pm yes siree mr unpredictable anonymous # 2. |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 11-21-03 10:29pm DAMMIT!!!!! |