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toki (profile) wrote,
on 12-3-2003 at 11:45pm
Current mood: optimistic
Music: Silence
Subject: Stuff
So, today wasn't all that bad. I mean, I kinda broke down today and lost it, but I recovered. It's all good now. I don't know why I really lost it either. I guess I just....I honestly don't know. But I feel better now I think. I'm still insanly worried about a few things though. Yeah, first of all the whole props thing. I don't know what's gonna happen with that and I want it, but I don't. I want to do it, but I'm so scared that if I get it, I'll mess up. Now that I said it I'm not gonna get it...Blllaaaahhh....

And band...I just give up, I can't do it. I'm not smart enough. I honestly can't et the notes from the page to my brain to my fingers in the time I need to. I can't read bass clef that well above the staff and it takes a few seconds for me to figure it out then I have to figure out the high notes cuz I'm not that used to them, then with the rythmns and all that other stuff...I honestly can't do it. And it makes me sick with myself.

Oh, and guys are just jerks. Lol, but you all know that.

Well, on a happy note, Jillian and I finished our chem thing tonight...::phew:: Thank god. It's awesome too..with a cover page and all. I'm so proud. ::tear:: What else good happened today?? Hmmm...I can't think of anything lol. But I'm now surprisngly optimistic despite the fact that I have nothing going for me. Maybe that its cuz theres nothing, nothing good or bad...so then it leaves just optimism...it can be bad, but we shall see, no?

Um..forgive me for complaining about unimportant stuff. I know you all have worser stuff going on, I just need to say it...So yeah...

Oh, and good job to everyone who made call backs! Yay! Good luck 2morrow!
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mudpiegrl

12-04-03 11:47pm

trix dont worry about props. ::hug:: if you get it, you will do wonderfully at it. you can make anything work in your favour.

dont give up in band...i dont know maybe practice...or create soemthing fun to help you remember...like in math you sing that song with a over two b equals something...lol well it worked at the time...i suppose i cant say too much...i cant even remember which line/space is which note...hell i dont knwo which is flat and which is sharp...one of them is # lol. wow. i feel so musically uninclined. ::sigh:: i alwasy wasnted to play clarinet. ::hugs:: you do have things going for you...you are just so unaware of them now that you think that. last year...okie scratch that...a few months ago, i was entirely clueless on what i wanted to do...with my life, in my near future...hell, i couldnt even figure out what i wanted for lunch, but i had nothing going there considering i had no money ::smiles at jen:: youll figure it out, no worries! be optimistic! woo@

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sandatthebeach

12-05-03 9:46am

write in the notes! yeah cheating in band!!!!!:-)

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