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| sushininja (profile) wrote, on 2-22-2004 at 2:28am | |
| Current mood: take a wild fucking guess... Music: Silence |
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| *Sigh* Today sucked, let us put it that way... This band, which is something that I have been looking forward to ever sinec I auditioned has been a serious let down...I was expecting something great and fantastic, but all I get is a load of shit...sure it may sound fine, but teh attitued is lacking...I had a 7 hour rehersal today, something I enjoyed at Wooster or at Blue Lake, where I didn't check the clock every 5 minutes...but today, I wished for it to be over so badly...it depressed me rather much... I came home, to sit on the computer and play GCN...a very lonely activity...However, I did stop over at Coomes' for a tad... Carmen came over...I have no idea what was wrong with me at that point in time, but whatever it was, it caused me to snap at Carmen...it was about the Rocky Horror Picture Show...but hell, why did I have to snap at her? There was no reason for it, and it is nobody's fault but mine... Am I ruining whatever relationship I have with her by doing this? I'd have to believe that she can only put up with so much...before she just can't stand my constant apologies (due to my intense feelings of guilt) and my mood swings... And even when I do think this, I know that what ever I'm thinking isn't what is happening...she is my friend, and she's helped me thus far...I know she won't get fed up...our relationship won't be ruined because of that...becuase she is such a great friend, and she cares about me...A lot...And I care about her so much...and it hurts me when I think these thoughts, that she could be like that...and I have a feeling that this doesn't make her jolly either...but this is what is on my mind... But in that case, why do I think these thoughts? Do I like to feel down and depressed? I get that way as a direct result of these thoughts...Carmen has been there always for me when I've felt this way... I do have more friends than Carmen...Brittany, Sara, Brendan, and others...they care too... I like the way it feels when someone shows affection towards me or cares for me...Do I just get depressed and then whine about it to get them to care about me? I do know that they care about when I am happy, and when I am sad...and I am never really alone, I always have a phone to call...or a Carmen to hug... I ended today by watching Seven (or "Se7en"), a truly great movie...I hope Carmen is having a good time... Quote of the day: "Just got home from illinois, lock the front door, oh boy! Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch. Imagination sets in, pretty soon I’m singin’, Doo, doo, doo, lookin’ out my back door. There’s a giant doing cartwheels, a statue wearin’ high heels. Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn. A dinosaur victrola list’ning to buck owens. |
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shiznit05 | 02-22-04 11:51am hey, like i told you yesterday, you can always call, my cell is always on, and like we agreed you dont have to worry about me not answering it because you're you and not him haha |
| Anonymous | 02-22-04 2:16pm Good to see you finally watched it! It's about time, eh?
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