03-02-04 9:04pm

Lisa, Yes i do agree with u that is very wrong i mean wow 4 hours hold crap thats like nuttin.... i mean i wouldn't even be able to do that if i knew the kid for 3 days or ne thing like that.... ur frend so called Trixie needs to get her self straightend up cuz thats messed up.... i mean she shouldn't care what ppl think of her but what she does is dangerous bcuz she can get diseases n she can even get raped or sumthing bcuz the guys thinks that they can do what ever they want to her n thats messed up.... plus she should have more self respect for herself... if i was in her position i would feel very low n dirty like seriously.... n lisa i am very glad u are worrying bout her cuz she is ur frend n frends look after eachother no matter what.... she is very lucky to have a frend like u that really does care.... im proud of u.... n Trixie get ur life straightend please... u have no idea what ur doing!!
~much love~

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03-03-04 2:03am

Obviously there is something about trixies' background and/or experiences that is causing her to have little or no fear of the consequences of what she is doing. I'm sure intellectually she is aware that she can get pregnant or even worse get a life threatening virus or disease, but emotionally she doesn't appear strong enough to abstain from those type of temptations for whatever reason. Who knows? This may be a way for her to escape some bad experience. She may be just trying to be rebellious to her parents or to an ex-boyfriend. Or she may be just trying to fill a void in her life. You never know, she just may be a nymphomaniac but is trying to stop being one. Whatever the reason, the only way to find out is to ask her. So maybe if someone can get her to talk about it, then maybe she can hear herself say things that can put some fear in her heart. -Meana dad

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03-03-04 2:08am

Obviously there is something about trixies' background and/or experiences that is causing her to have little or no fear of the consequences of what she is doing. I'm sure intellectually she is aware that she can get pregnant or even worse get a life threatening virus or disease, but emotionally she doesn't appear strong enough to abstain from those type of temptations for whatever reason. Who knows? This may be a way for her to escape some bad experience. She may be just trying to be rebellious to her parents or to an ex-boyfriend. Or she may be just trying to fill a void in her life. You never know, she just may be a nymphomaniac but is trying to stop being one. Whatever the reason, the only way to find out is to ask her. So maybe if someone can get her to talk about it, then maybe she can hear herself say things that can put some fear in her heart. -Meana dad

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03-03-04 2:12am

Dammit I hate when comments get double printed. Btw that holy fat cow comment always makes me lmao! -MD

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Re:, 03-03-04 3:01pm

sorry but i think this should be a no-dad-allowed journal sorry
and lisa! yes you know who i am ... i think shes a slut and i do agree (sadly) with "meana dad" that she is trying to be rebelious and act very immature it seems like i mean c'mon your a slut! are people supposed to look up to you for that? because i dont and i know who trixie is so if you didnt know who i was you do now ... you have to call me n we have to get together sometime ~andy

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Re:, 03-03-04 3:02pm

sorry but i think this should be a no-dad-allowed journal sorry
and lisa! yes you know who i am ... i think shes a slut and i do agree (sadly) with "meana dad" that she is trying to be rebelious and act very immature it seems like i mean c'mon your a slut! are people supposed to look up to you for that? because i dont and i know who trixie is so if you didnt know who i was you do now ... you have to call me n we have to get together sometime ~andy

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Re:, 03-03-04 3:04pm

sorry but i think this should be a no-dad-allowed journal sorry
and lisa! yes you know who i am ... i think shes a slut and i do agree (sadly) with "meana dad" that she is trying to be rebelious and act very immature it seems like i mean c'mon your a slut! are people supposed to look up to you for that? because i dont and i know who trixie is so if you didnt know who i was you do now ... you have to call me n we have to get together sometime ~andy

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Re: Re:, 03-03-04 4:29pm

thanks Lauren, for that great "boost of confidence!"...Jesus, I wish people whould juss stop caring about me!
This has nothing to do with losing an ex- b/f or having some "past expreience that was bad"...and it isnt like I am having sex! Not even oral! so I cant get ne bad STD or w/e! w/m/l

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-03-04 4:33pm

who said that? i mean i dont know im talking to lisa or sara

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-03-04 4:34pm

who said that? i mean i dont know im talking to lisa or sara

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Re: Re:, 03-03-04 5:27pm

me and lisa get together i mean

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Re: Re:, 03-04-04 9:06am

Um Lauren...well maybe lisa likes him writing in this because she always gets mad when he doesnt yea.....i talked to her and she wants him 2 comment...
bye
<3MeAnA<3


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03-03-04 4:24pm

"Trixie" here..Lisa, I told u so manytimes I dont care if people worry about me unless I am doing something like suicidal! I want to have fun in life and not go around bein prude lil person...I hate doin that!!!! Im sorry I am a slut...but I mean, I am not havin sex with ne one! holy cheese and quakers...its different

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Re: Re:, 03-03-04 5:24pm

ok you dont have to be prude but you dont do that stuff that is above and beyond prude if you like just make out with a guy than (to me) than your not prude anymore trixie if your trying to prove a point than its done ok and you dont know what your doing can be suicidal like take my advice on this a guy can overpower you and if you start doing little things like that than eventually he may force you to doing more even if you dont want to and when i say force i mean HOLD YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU and a guy can easily easily overpower you! and dont think i dont know what im talking about bc you know what happened to me. and you can have fun in life! to me freaking driving in a car with stephanie blasting the radio is a blast and im sure others think that too but with every action there is a consequence.. good or bad and i think in time your going to have some really bad ones.. btw you told me you had sex before and no it is not different its very much the same when something bad happens to you and you dont take my advice or listen to what we say dont come running back to me crying if your pregnant or have std's or something like that bc im not going to help you nor have pity bc you would have brought that upon yourself and it is totally degrading your self respect not to mention your reputation!! yeah your rep i hear ppl saying crap about you and i stick up for you but i shouldnt bc it is your fault that your getting all these bad things said about you...and to me ppl who do that crap ur doing have a gap missing in their lives someplace.. or they have no respect for themselves or others...

'andy' lol i like 'meana dads" advice!

x0Xo

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Re: Re:, 03-03-04 5:25pm

yeah being un-prude is one thing being slutty is another "trixie" you just dont do that if its guys your worried about liking you ... eventually one will like you for who you are and thats much better than a guy liking you for what your pretending to be ... if your just trying to get attention ... im just telling you right now the kind of attention your getting now is the kinda you most definately do not want! your morals are depleting very quickly and unless you like guys using you and taking advantage of you a suggest you stop ... doing whoreish crap like you did ... SINCERLY~F-A-T~ANDY

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-03-04 5:27pm

and just so no one questions like i did
F-A-T dosnt mean she thiks shes fat it means forever and today hehe dont ask i started yelling at lauren bc i thought she thought she was fat lol

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03-03-04 6:17pm

"Trixie" I know who u are like 4 reals.... n I love you to death I have known u for a while n I can bout u alot.... I know how u feel bout having too many ppl like caring bout u n getting in ur way... but I am sry to say this but they all have a point u can get many diseases n viruses from the kind of things u have been doing whether u believe it or not..... n u shoulnd't be doing those kinda things cuz guys WILL take advantage of u cuz they will think that u will have sex with them n stuff like that.....n its gonna sux for u when a guy u really like ends up goin out with u just bcuz he thinks u can do sh*t with them n if u end up saying no then its over n thats when peer pressure comes in.... so just please stop seriously take mine n everyone elses advice.....in order to have fun u don't have to go out n do that stuff.... i mean specially when u only knew the guy for like what 4 or 5 hours!!! see now if u would have known the guy for a longer amount of time and u really did like him then that would be different if u didn't notice u kinda put urself out as a "one nite stand" n don't doubt that from now on guys are gonna treat u like a "one nite stand" just please stop doing this please!!
~much love~

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-04-04 9:36am

Im not trying to get him to like me...i found a guy whol liked me for me, and then he dumped me! So I am juss trying to have fun...lemme be!

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Re:, 03-04-04 9:39am

u of all people should know how I feel...bc of u n Marcus...I know u didnt like having ppl keep tellin u to go out with him and all that jazz....I did like that kid b4 we did that stuff.....thats why I was hanging around him n Tim so dam much!

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Re:, 03-05-04 1:02am

Trixie, if you in your heart really think that you aren't doing anything wrong, then why don't you have the courage to reveal your name? --Meana Dad

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03-03-04 6:46pm

Im not doing this for attention at all...and not to get sum guy to like me..."bobby" liked me for me, but he found out the real me and broke up with me....+ the kid tried to do more, but i said no and he kept asking and i kept saying no and nothing happened so chillax!

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ur doing the right thing, 03-03-04 7:24pm

yea who ever this trixie girl is needs to be fully aware of her actions. What ur doing is good. You need to Keep telling this girl that it is wrong. Let her c that ppl really do care about her, and if its attention that she needs , which it seems to me she does...give it to her. Be there for her. Take her out. And dnt let her meet any boys. But if that doesnt work...i hate to say this but tell her mother....she needs to get help and tested before its to late!!!!!!

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Re: ur doing the right thing, 03-04-04 9:43am

i dont need help!!!! Jeezzzeeee!!!!! I am not doing it for attention, I dont know how many times I have said this...I dont need ne attention, I wouldnt mind if ppl back off for a few days n what not! But I am doing this to have fun....Boys r my life, almost every girls life...and if I cant meet guys...then ill meet girls,. which is juss as bad!

I dont need to be tested either, and my mom knows about all of this, so chill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I tell her everything and she knows, and we talk and thats it....why cant yall juss get off my case and start worrying about ur own life instead of mine...I already have too many ppl doin that for me! and I dont need ppl that I dont know worrying about me

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03-04-04 6:19am

I'm going to say this only once, especially to the likes of Lauren. If anyone wants me not to write in their journal anymore, then immediately as of now i will never ever write in that persons journal. Mark my word on it. I WILL NOT!!! But before anyone claims that they can be an expert in life and think they know everything (I'm definately not an expert on life!), ask yourselves whether any of my backgound / experiences of being an adolescent can either be an asset or liability in your lives.

First of all, my parents moved to Cape Coral in 1969, and my dad was one of the first family doctors in all of Cape Coral. He joined the first Family Practice that included Dr. Tate and Dr. Dawson. Some of your parents may know these people. However, since Cape Coma had barely over 10,000 residents at the time, my family could not help feeling that everyone knew us, so we felt that it was absolutely necessary to maintain the highest standards possible in our household. After all if there are only 3 doctors to choose from in all of Cape Coral, how can anyone not know who my dad was consequently knowing who his kids were. And if you were a Hinkle boy, you couldn't afford to do anything that would embarrass your dad cuz who would want to go see a doctor who couldn't even raise and care for his own kids.

Furthermore, when my dad moved down here in '69, he was amazed that there wasn't a single ballpark where kids could play organized football and baseball, so in 1970 he was the one who founded and built the first ballpark in Cape Coral. The name of the field was called Dolphin Field and happens to be easily visible from Veterans Pkyw and Country Club Blvd. I can still remember as a 3 year old when it was being built because when the sod was being laid down, someone said to me, "Lay this chuck of grass down next the last one laid down." Having said all of this, it was really impossible for anyone to either not know me or not know of me.

As time peacefully went by, those same high standards placed on me suddenly in one tragic day in March of 1976 were combined with frantic paranoia and overprotectiveness, as my best friend, Jason S. Verdow, was murdered at his bus stop. He was our firstbaseman on my 8 yr old and 9yr old baseball teams and was the first person ever murdered in Cape Coral history. I remember my mom coming up to me in our back yard telling me what happened, and it was such an unexplainable disbelief. I really didn't believe that it happened until the following day that he didn't show up for baseball practice, and that is when i started crying like a baby. The event was so powerful in Cape Coral that the innocence of raising a child there was forever gone. I remember that you couldnt avoid any radio station broadcasting updates. I mean my vocabulary was very limited then and didnt understand anything said, but I could clearly understand when they were saying Jason Verdow over and over. When the funeral was over, my dad and some others decided to rename Dolphin Field, "Jason S. Verdow Memorial Park."

By the time I was in 6th grade and performing poorly, I was diagnosed with a learning disability, as i was tested to
see if I was retarded. However the tests did show that the weakness I had was a very slow response to verbal stimuli - meaning even though when people say things to me that I can biologically hear, I have tremendous difficulty understanding and interpreting what is said to me. For example, when i would hang out with a group of people and more than one person was talking, i eventually always got confused and felt very alienated around my friends, and those kind of feelings were so painful that it brought tears in my eyes when i was alone. I mean, how would you like to be in car with a group of friends singing out loud to a well-known song playing on the radio, but you can't follow along cuz you don't understand the words of the song thus making your friends look at you like there is something wrong with you or even stuck up.

So now you all are wondering "How can this relate to me?" Well during my entire adolescence, I began to suffer from depression and helplessness, so I saw 3 different therapist to help me deal with the high standards and overprotectiveness
placed on me by my parents. Now this is very important for all of you adolescences out their who gives a shit about themselves. The common thing that I learned from all three of these people was that the first thing that I had to learn to do was relax. I mean it. Don't underestimate this. It is absolutely true that the more relaxed a person can be in their brain and body, the better the decisions a person can make. The first method that my therapist worked on me was a thing called Biofeedback, which was a thing that found out how tense and unrelaxed my brain really was. And what he did was he placed 3 nodes on my forehead and were wireconnected to machine which could detect all of the tension in my mind. And the way I could tell of all of the tension was that headphones connecting to the machine were placed on my ears so that I could actually hear the level of stress inside of me. It was awsome. I mean the faster the static noise sounded in my headphones, the more tension I was feeling. So throughout this Biofeedback session, all i was trying to do was relax myself as much as I could so that i could hear less static possible.

The next best advice I recieve was from my first therapist. He was the one who helped me deal with the high standard environment under which I lived. He taught me the importance of feeling good inside for "trying ones best" and not so much on "results," because without trying you can never get any result. So if one tries the best he/she can, then that is good enough. He went into detail about this, and he basically said, "There are four things that are involved with success: luck, competition, ability and effort." And he asked me out of all of those factors, which one of those do you think you can control, and I said, "I don't know." So he said, "Well, you cannot control luck because that is like playing the lottery. You cannot control competition because whoever you compete against will never have the same capabilities. You cannot control ability because that is what God gives you. But the only thing that one can control is effort. So if you try your best, then that is good enough." Look at me for example, I cannot control the fact that God gave me a voice like a girl and a long protruding chin and a learning disability. Of course I wish that I didn't have those qualities but I've learned to live with them because I judge myself solely on how hard I try and nothing else because trying is the only damn thing I can control.

And if any of you adolescences out there don't believe that this works, Meana is living proof. Ever since day one at Gulf Elementary school when she was in tears because she didn't know a word of English, the thing I told her, "Look Yaminah, I don't care if you don't know a word of English or end up getting all As or Fs, as long as you try your hardest, promise yourself to always feel good about yourself!" And that philosophy is reminded to her so often that sometimes it annoys her. But Goddammit it works! Its not a bunch of happy horseshit because of all of the adolescences that I know, I don't know anyone who has a better self-concept and self-esteem than she does. --Meana Dad


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Re:, 03-04-04 9:48am

wooohuuuu!!! Go Meana!!! Ur the happyest person I know lol....hehe, I member when u didn t know english and me n megan and Leslie were trien to help ya and I didnt do much...but still...holy cow, now u know more english than i do almost lol!!! Luv ya gurlie!!!!

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Re:, 03-04-04 9:52am

thats the funny thing! She only shows u that she is happy...she has been band from guys, so she never can be depressed...she doesnt have a normal teenage life! U have kept her hiddin and u get mad when she goes to the mall and u dont trust her! jesus....I think the only reason she is so happy is because she has great friends! she tells me almost everything, and she isnt as happy as she seems to be....she needs to go out with guys and have fun, and have u be there asking her about her dates like my parents do! be a normal father, dont let ur childhood interfere with hers! I keep telling my mom, I am not going to make the same mistakes she did...and I am not like her, Meana isnt like u at all...Just let her be, let her go out, have fun, hang around guys...u telling her she cant hang out with guys is like her telling u that u cant hang out with girls! see, same problem....ok that is about what I have to say, there is more, but i dont have enuff time...!

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Re: Re:, 03-04-04 3:19pm

Sara, with that type of sarcasm you have just displayed, it doesnt surprise me that you completely missed the point. The point is not how much English Meana learned or who taught her but how Meana responded to the struggles of learning English. In her case, she remained emotionally strong and encouraged. She never got discouraged because she always made sure that she felt doing her best was good enough!

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Re: Re:, 03-04-04 3:40pm

Sara, I'm sorry to say this but after reading your comment, you are proving to me that not being relaxed can make you say or write things that you otherwise woudn't say. I'm so serious! You're tense right now. Just look how many comments you wrote in Lisas journal within a matter of minutes.

You know we spoke in private about the things you have just written, and they are not very accurate. In fact they suggest that you are trying turn Yaminah against me. Thats bad Sara. If you wanna talk about this later, I think you well find that your comments will be more accurate if you are more relaxed. -Meana Dad

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-04-04 4:49pm

i wasnt being sarcastic about her english! i was for real...it took alot fo rh er to go to a skewl n know only spanish

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-04-04 4:50pm

i wasnt being sarcastic about her english! i was for real...it took alot fo rh er to go to a skewl n know only spanish

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-04-04 4:52pm

omg, this has nothing to do with me!!! I am not "trixie"!!!

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-04-04 4:54pm

+ I would say it was me if it was me, i told u how i feel bout hat subject.....Im not so scared bc if it was me, I would say so, so it obviously isnt me!!! Idk why everyone thinks it is

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Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-04-04 5:33pm

i think 31 is a record for me... idk i just wish i was a marshmellow... dont ask i am clueless now on who said what and what everythings about... dont mind me i just ate a grahm cracker

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Re: Re:, 03-05-04 1:28am

Then if this isn't Sara, I apologize to her. However these are the type of comments that will end up in a big, ugly argument, and I'm not going to turn Lisas journal into a back and forth shouting thingy. Lisa is a peaceful person and is my hero right now! Why? because it seems to me that she is trying harder than anyone I know in making her relationship with her parents better, so if you have anymore to add, please email me: Killthatqb@aol.com

BTW, Meana is my Superhero!!!!

---Meana Dad

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Re: Re: Re:, 03-05-04 9:07am

I juss want u to know, it honestly isnt me....I know lots of people that gt up and write in their journals, or come up to my moms room and write and all that jazz.....I have told u b4 how I feel and I am not afraid to say what is on my mind....

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