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| spinoangel (profile) wrote, on 3-6-2004 at 9:25pm | |
| Current mood: melancholy Music: hoobastank - "the reason" Subject: the first cut |
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| ya know. my weekend has been great minus one exception. the day after someone breaks up with you, is the day you recognize the most breakup songs. friday i cried more than i ever thought possible. because it hurts a million times more to know that it was my fault that he felt like i don't deserve him. because i don't. so i don't want anyone to be mad at him and i don't want anyone to try to console me. because the way i ignored him and the way i humiliated him every time i pushed him away... it makes sense that i can't keep hanging onto him. i should just go at life alone for a while. because ... i... i guess i'm not .. perfect. danielle saw so many tears. and my body hates me so since i cried so much, my allergies didn't stop. my eyes were burning and my nose was running. i never tell my family when i cry so they assumed i had horrible allergies causing my face to be all red. the tears ran so much that danielle couldnt catch them. there were too much. i couldn't sleep because i was drowning. and when i could sleep, it was horrible. i kept waking up. by far the worst sleep i ever had. and i woke up with swollen eyes. thank god for my family though. my brother came home last night. he makes me laugh. and we saw starsky and hutch. it's all good. today i went to tran's bday picnic. jimmy proposed. =) and i am gonna be a bridesmaid. what else can i say? i wish i hadn't treated him so badly. because now i miss him more than ever. and i hope he's happy without me. all of our plans are gone now. time to cry again... i'm not a perfect person. there's many things i wish i didn't do. but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you. and so i have to say before i go that i just want you to know i found a reason for me to change who i used to be. a reason to start over new. and the reason is you. i'm sorry that i hurt you. it's something i must live with everyday. and all the pain i put you through. i wish that i could take it all away. and be the one who catches all your tears. i'm not a perfect person. i never meant to do those things to you. and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know i've found a reason for me to change who i used to be. a reason to start over new. and the reason is you. |
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christini | 03-06-04 9:42pm <3
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Lizzy | 03-06-04 10:22pm |
kickass1157 | 03-12-04 4:38pm i know the feeling.
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