Add Memory | Add To Friends
Angel_Bob (profile) wrote,
on 4-22-2004 at 3:20pm
Subject: Ben




No matter how hard you try to erase the past, it'll always be there.

You deleted it?

I love you all.









I could apologize to you.

But that would be a lie.

Apologies never fix anything and I'm not sorry.

I didn't apologize for what I had just done. I apologized for being with you. I apologized for being jealous.

But most of all, I apologized for loving you.

I wanted to make you mad. I wanted to get you pissed. I wanted to make you angry enough to take action.

I wanted you to leave me be.

I wanted you to hate me.

I didn't cry because I was upset at myself for what I did. I didn't cry because I was sorry.

I am not sorry.

I cried because this is truly the end.

That's it. We're over.

I'm done with you.

I'm done with loving you. I'm done with hating myself for feeling such.

I couldn't have done it any other way.

I wanted to totally cut myself off from you. I wanted to totally isolate myself.

I couldn't just be your friend.

I have to be your enemy.

I had to make you hate me.

I hope it worked.






I hope I'll never see you again.
Post A Comment

Tabletop

04-22-04 5:21pm

As I'm not quite sure what's going on, I'm just going to let you know that you have my support.

(reply to this)

1010101

04-22-04 6:56pm

"I had to make you hate me."

Somehow, I do not think that is possible.

I will always support you as a friend, but I have to let you know Rachel, I severely disapprove of this whole mess you two have created. I will not choose a side, as I do not see either as right, but again, I don't see any justification for the spreading of hatred ( as you are someone who so frequently says the phrase "I love you" I find your behavior in this incident to be rather alarming...)

Oh, and by the way "Apologies never fix anything" may be true to an extent, but a lack of apology often leads to some rather unpleasent confrontations.

I will not pretend that I know everything about this mess, and I am very sorry if I have misunderstood the situation in any way. However, I felt that I had to say what I have written above.

All that said, Though I may not agree with you in more than a few ways, I still love you. Just please be careful and try not to kill a fly with a cannon, alright?

(reply to this)

H2OforDuo

04-22-04 7:22pm

*Hugs*

Sometimes a hug is the best thing a person can do for someone else.

Remember, you always have my support.

~Caro

(reply to this)

independenttruckergrl

04-22-04 8:38pm

You will always have my support.

I love you.

(reply to this)

deloric

04-22-04 9:07pm

I agree with Brett.

One who makes herself out to be all love should not attempt to make someone hate her. Either it is false to her image, or it is false to her soul. Either way its wrong, unless you are trying to destroy some part of yourself.

But I'm just an onlooker. I dont knwo the whole story. Feel free to ignore me.

(reply to this)

Angel_Bob

Re:, 04-22-04 9:33pm

I am trying to destroy part of me.

I'm destroying the part that loves Ben.

Or trying.

(reply to comment)

deloric

Re: Re:, 04-22-04 9:34pm

good luck then.

I've never succeded in killing a love like that.

(reply to comment)

beretta

04-22-04 10:00pm

you need to just grow up. putting an apple core in my locker is just stupid, it's not some unforgivable sin. i got a new locker, one you don't have access to. that's pretty much it

(reply to this)

Angel_Bob

Re:, 04-22-04 10:11pm

Well fuck you.

Just hate me already damn it.

(reply to comment)

Anonymous

Re: Re:, 04-22-04 10:16pm

this is high school
nothing lasts forever

get over it
and just be happy
you have a lot of friends
or you will lose them all

(reply to comment)

Angel_Bob

Re: Re: Re:, 04-22-04 10:37pm

Tomorrow always seems so far away.

Love you.

(reply to comment)

Aerii

04-22-04 10:59pm

I love you.

I need to tell her that I'm sorry.

(reply to this)

Brianna

04-23-04 8:01am

Hun, I don't know what to say. The best thing I can do right now is pray for you. And I hope things turn out alright in the end. *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

(reply to this)