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| sushininja (profile) wrote, on 4-27-2004 at 9:44pm | |
| Current mood: contemplative |
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| Today was a hard day...not so much for me, but for a lot of people...someone dear to them took his own life in a furious passion (I'm assuming)...hanging himself only to let the first eyes laid upon him be his mother's...I cannot imagine what went through her head as she entered the garage and saw what she saw...I wouldn't want to imagine...no parent should have to deal with that...it is every parent's wish to outlive their offspring, their wish for them to have a better life than they could have possibly lived...unfortunately, his parents will have to bury their son, who wasted his life... Working for 3 hours in solitude, and being in school, I've had time to contemplate today's happenings... Not only did he waste his life, he hurt everyone who cared about him...he acted quite selfishly, taking a life from this world, from his friends, from his family, and himself...the school today was filled with sadness, tears, anger, grief, despair, and 1 million other feelings...many of his friends spent their day in the office, annex, band room, or wherever seeking counsel...they were confused as hell...they needed help...he caused his friends so much pain, selfishly... What would cause somebody to go to such extreme measures? Was it his baseball suspension, relationship trouble, trouble at home, trouble at school, or a combination of these? What was his reasoning for ending his life? Whatever it may be, it wouldn't matter, there is no justifying such an act...it was a poor decision, a permanent and final solution to a temperary problem... I had met Derek...I played on his baseball team one year, and against him many times...he went to St. Als with me, albeit a grade below, but still, I knew his face...through my interactions with him, I found him to a bit unsavory and my relationship went as far as that with him... There is more that I could say, but I'm not sure it could be formed into words... Today has affected me, not physically, but mentally and emotionally... Some of you may find what I'm saying a bit hypocritical...why? I was down this road last July, very near my own death...I've looked back, wondering what the fuck was I thinking...I can't believe I was that close to sleeping forever. I'm pretty sure only two people know to this date that I had those intentions...I am extremely glad that I made the decision I did, and chose life over death...so much has happened in between now and then, and that wasn't even one year! Imagine how much I would have missed in the upcoming 88 years of my life...Luckily, I'm far from that path with none of it in sight... As Carmen put it, "I hope heaven finds you well" Derek...and may we all learn from your decision... |
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Silvos | 04-28-04 12:07am I don't see why.
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crazyweaver05 | not fair, 04-28-04 5:15pm everything you said about him his unfair. yes, you probably knew him just a tad bit more than I, which I do'nt know him at all, but still Doug, thats not fair of you to say he wasted his life, or that his cause was unjust. Maybe in your eyes his cause was unjust, but thats not your decision to make. And he obviously didn't waste his life if he had that many friends upset over his death. Someone who wasted their life probably wouldn't have been that missed. Not to mention, he wasn't being selfish. I think you saying that makes you seem selfish, not only that, but it makes you seem superior to him, which you aren't. Simply because he made a decision that he was ready for, doesn't mean it was wrong, he obviously thought it right. So where the hell do you get the right to say otherwise? |
sushininja | Re: not fair, 04-28-04 9:27pm Where the hell do you get the right to tell me otherwise? That's right, nowhere...
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| crazyweaver05 | Re: Re: not fair, 04-28-04 11:23pm no doug, you knwo what, how would you have felt if you had done something like this last july or whenever, and everybody called you selfish and said your life was wasted, and it was a horrible decision? yeah, you'd be dead, but you wouldn't be feeling too good about it...so its not fair to put down someone because of stupid mistakes, even if it did cost them their life.
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Anonymous | Guess who?, 04-29-04 11:07pm News flash for ya hun: Suicide is THE most selfish thing a human being can do in their life.
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Silvos | 04-29-04 3:37pm This is way off topic but there's no where else to say it cuz you wouldn't notice...
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