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danibean (profile) wrote,
on 4-22-2002 at 9:30pm
Current mood: everything but bouncy/happy like things
Music: ben folds five- raindrops keep falling on my head
Subject: this was way overdue..and now i have the time..and i'm in the mood
wow...ok. this needs to be said because i have so many things building up and i really don't care what people think and i need to vent. first off.. i went to the coffee house tonight. that was really fun but somewhat depressing at the same time. most things are like that. i am depressed but happy as well. i don't know what to do. mikey was there. he was playing the piano and singing all the songs we sang together that one day in the drumline room. it reminded me of the highpoint of our friendship and i realized how much i miss him. i miss him alot. it was my fault too. i saw robby more than usual today. it hurts just to look at him. i don't like him anymore, but i'm not sure what to do when i see him. we're not even friends anymore so it just kills me to see him. kevin and i aren't friends anymore because he thinks the only reason i was friends with him was to get robby. that is so untrue. i had so much fun with kevin and now everytime i see him i feel a sharp pain in my heart. all the time i'm reminded of how much fun i had with these people. i miss it and i cry about it almost everyday. stefanie is graduating. i cried for a long time about this on saturday night. i told her about it..and she told me that her graduating probably won't affect our friendship. i love being friends with stefanie. i think she's kind of like the big sister i never had. and we are so alike. i have so much fun with her and i just don't need another friendship to end. i sometimes feel so depressed. i cry and cry and cry. but at other times i am so happy. i laugh till my gut hurts. but nothing was as wonderful as having mikey tell me he'd always be there for me and kevin singing to me and robby giving me funny looks in the hall all the time. if i could have one wish and one wish only, it would be to have them back in my life again. i don't think anyone could feel the pain i experence. but it's not always like that. i'm just so confused right now. i have so many things going on in my life and i don't know where to start to fix them all. i wish i could wake up and have everything back to normal. but life isn't that easy.
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jedibumblebee

04-22-02 11:19pm

dani, i love you!! :)

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danibean

Re:, 04-23-02 7:05am

i love you too stefanie!

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Anonymous

I hope this encourages you, 04-23-02 5:13pm

Hey Dani. I'm not replying to this
to saying I know what it feels like to lose
a very close friend. Because I realy don't know
what it's like. I've had plenty of friends that
have come and gone, but I have never lost a truly
close or best friend. The truth is that we all have
bad times and good times, but we all eventualy
get over them and become stronger
through the bad times. So, I guess the best thing
anybody can do is cherish those friendships
and memories that they have. Don't take them for granted because
you never realy know when you will lose them, and it's
usualy hard to find truly close and uniqe friends. I'm not trying
to say that you take friends for granted or that you have or
ever will. But when you meet someone, just remember that. It's not
every day that someone comes along that can make such an impact
in your life.
I hope this helps you, but if it doesn't I wish that you could
find something or someone that makes you happy.Well' gota go. bye.
(I hope you feel better soon)


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spud

04-23-02 8:00pm

hey. i'm glad you got that off your exceptionally attractive chest. innuendo aside, i am always willing to lend an ear. it's good that you can recognize what is causing your emotions. that's the first step to coping. you might get them back, you might not. but you can't control who, how, or when you get them back. i'm sure that you will always be surrounded by good friends. but it causes lots of unnecessary inner turmoil when you try to figure out what they think of you, or what is going to happen way down the road. you can't control what they think of you. you can't even find it out, unless they tell you. you can control what you do, and how you interpret their actions and words. control what you can. don't worry about what you can't. life will go on, and you can always enjoy it. it won't always be ideal or blatantly enjoyable, but there is almost always humour.

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charlie

04-23-02 8:58pm

i give hugs, it's what i do, and "someone" used to say that i do it well

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danibean

Re:, 04-25-02 6:52pm

i love hugs. when we meet, i want a big hug. hugs are my most favorite thing ever.

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shortnsweet

Love Ya Dano, 04-25-02 12:57pm

Hey.What's all this about not having many friends blah blah blah. I'm here! I'm always ready to talk, K? Well, I hope you start to feel better about, well life in general. Write me back. Hope you have fun at golf practice or match or whatever. Remember you're always loved.

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