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| n01under5tand5 (profile) wrote, on 6-11-2004 at 4:07pm | |
| Current mood: scared Music: whatevers on the tv' |
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| I'm alone in my own home. I'm afraid I turn up the T.V. to drown out anyother sound. In the back of my mind theres still a silence and a realization of another sound. I constantly feel like someones watching me. Not to long ago I woke up with a sence of something wrong. A mans hands lie at my window sil pushing up my window I lay still calling out my friends name. I only had it open a little waiting for my friend to come. The next day I called her the answer already in my head the one I knew she'd say "no I wasn't at your house last night". The scarey part is the evidence. There was something by my tree outside where he ran I never told anyone about I never went to look at it. At least not that night. It wasn't the fear that stopped no no that wasn't it the fear came later. I think it was my intelligence. I senced him still lingering. I stayed up that night with my window and all the doors locked with a large knife in my hand. I'm sure...... I'm sure he's been in my house before because you know that feeling you get when someone has been in your house who wasn't suppose to be there maybe you only know it if something like that happened to you, but I feel it every day. He's been in here and I'm sure he knows my house quite well. You say I'm crazy or I'm making it up, but you will believe whatever you want until the day it happens to you. When you have to constantly look over your shoulder. Even in your own home. So when you hear the whispers and the breathing in the back of your mind wake up get up get ready and go. The night the man was at my window I didn't get scared not at first. The fear came later because I knew I had to defend myself scare him worse than he scared me. I took a knife from my kitchen the biggest one we had. I would have killed him if he came near me I felt that strength. I only knew because my cat meowed and meowed. My cat meowed, but I knew he had before everynight when he got locked in my room so I knew I was already awake when I heard that. Details are usually not remembered from those incidents unless they are lies, but this is truth because when something like that happens something that is a big deal to me I remember every bit I can. I think it was my nieghbor from a few years ago Danny he broke into my house in 1999 I was 10 I remember that because I was grounded for my birthday for stealing from Albertson's and we went to Danny's Birthday Party, his 5oth the same day as my birthday it was sometime before summer. My mom and him got very drunk and they talked until they were both very sober. Soon after that day, I came home from school and police were all around my house. I thought my mom was dead or they came for me. but luckily they werent for me and my mom was smart and called the police. My cat saved her in a small way he stalled Danny while my mom was on the phone. I never stopped blaming myself for that day because I left the backdoor unlocked just like I fell asleep with my window open. So both break-ins' were technically my fault. I wish you could forget things like that, but I can't I can't stop thinking my mom might have died I might have died. I can't stop thinking how lucky I am. Its the irish and the intelligence the way we act and not react and the sence of something wrong. Live life like theres no tomorrow because what if there isn't. I don't want to have to go threw life doing something that I'm for the end of I want to be able to liv threw it and enjoy myself. L.O.V.E always e p e a g e r s s n y y |
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| Anonymous | hrmmm, 06-12-04 2:21am I luv u |
n01under5tand5 | Re: hrmmm, 06-12-04 2:30am i hearts ya
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Anonymous | Re: Re: hrmmm, 06-12-04 4:49pm liar |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: hrmmm, 06-14-04 12:53am I dont think ur a liar. |
Anonymous | Re: Re: Re: Re: hrmmm, 06-18-04 1:17pm mind ur own business |