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| moana (profile) wrote, on 9-18-2004 at 3:09pm | |
| Subject: my terribly snobby high-standard list of things i want in a perfect mate |
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| i need a toto. someone who's willing toeat with me when i'm hungry, who is secure enough to let me pay for my half of the bill but who's nice enough to offer anyway. someone who can taste and try new things, not just in food, but in life, and who doesn't need to look perfect for me. meaning, whipped cream on the chin is cute, and a mouthful of food is irresistible. i need a human-being, not a model. and screw diets, eat when you're hungry! i need a hoo-hahsexual. comfortable with physical intimacy, understands the difference between love and heat, can diffrentiate between passion and errotica. it's ok to show me how you feel sometimes, without saying anything, because it's different when it's with feelings. it's ok to experiment, and try new things, but it's also ok to have boudaries and respect the limits and sanctities of the human body. i need an activist. so maybe you don't march on the abortion clinic every weekend, but still, everybody's got to believe in something and follow it through, all the way. it works if i don't agree with it, because disagreements make life interesting. i can't stand someone who's totally indifferent, there's got to be some drive in his life. i don't care what it is, but care about something to the point of healthy obsession, and make that your passion, your motivation, all that jazz. i need a genius. maybe not a literal genius, but someone who knows what he knows and is willing to learn. i'm full of useless information, and he should be too, because it's so much fun sharing those tidbits. i can't stand it when someone goes "what's your favourite subject in school?" and this person goes "nothing, i hate school." you've got to love something you learned in school. physics, chemistry, biology, history, mathematics, anything. i need art. how many girls do you know aren't suckers for an artist? a painter, a sketcher, a sculptor, a musician, a dancer, a singer, a writer. smart is fun, but artists see the other side of it, they see the beauty of simplicity as opposed to the thrill of the complex. someone who can appreciate the miracle in a cool breeze doesn't need to be able to explain it scientifically, he just needs to feel it. artists can feel things in a sort of strange way that science can't explain. it's the mystery that makes them so wonderful. i need a flaw. so i've described mr. perfect. well who wants perfect? perfect is boring, and everyone interesting's gotta have a character flaw. maybe he's shy, maybe he makes funny smacking noises when he eats, maybe he bites his nails. it's adorable. he's gotta fall down somewhere, some place along the line there's got to be a crack in the sidewalk. he can't be irksomely perfect all the time. i need to laugh. a sense of humor is a MUST HAVE. even if he's not funny, he's gotta laugh when someone/something else is. laughter makes life easier. i'm sure some famous dead person said that. it's great to be able to laugh with someone, it automatically makes you comfortable with them. friends, family, whatever. if you don't laugh together, chances are you're not at ease with one another. then again, it's a fine line between the genuinely funny and the obnoxious/retarted funny. i'm not 6 anymore, contarary to popular belief. i need to eat. hoo-hah is hoo-hah and a girl's gotta eat. he needs to be yummy. i need to breathe. i cannot live with a neatness freak. i just can't. i need to live in a land where people can spill and throw and forget to put things away. i need to live in a place where there is no anti-bacterial for everything. i have to settle down in a place where it's ok to be messy and a slob. where it's ok to eat food off the floor and occasionally wipe your nose on your sleeve and once in a while wear the same socks for 4 or 5 days in a row. i can't stand germaphobes, and i have to have stains on my furniture. misch. - doesn't compulsively shake his knee (you know what i mean?) - listens to good music - reads for pleasure - appreciates me - belives in women's rights - admits his flaws and can ask for help - will stop for directions - helps out with "girly" things like cooking and cleaning - can operate a washing machine - isn't intimidated by me - is ok with us not being attatched at the hip 24/7 - has other friends - lets me have other friends - can be romantic on occasion - is ok with forgetting birthdays and anniversaries - doesn't think marriage is a plot by the government to keep tabs on us - belives in God - doesn't do drugs or alcohol - cares enough to make me quit smoking - can be honest enough to say "you're putting on some weight" or "if you do that it's just plain stupid" - lets me clean his nails for him - will play with my hair - is faithful - never breaks a promise - is mature enough to know when to let things go - doesn't insult my tastes or opinions - wants to have children and then actually help take care of them - belives in love |
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WhitePony | 09-19-04 3:15am We need more people like you here. I mean, c'mon, where else do you find girls who want to clean your nails? |
cowboy67 | Re:, 09-19-04 3:17am here here! |
moana | Re: Re:, 09-19-04 7:08am i think it's a personal experience, "grooming your loved one". am i right or am i right? ok boys, so you got anyone for me near where i'm going? |
WhitePony | 09-19-04 3:17am Plus i've never seen anyone cut a rug like you do on those dancing arcade games ;) |
moana | Re:, 09-19-04 6:51am *gasp!* laurence! you said only your sister and danielle saw those! oh may goo how embarassing. |
cowboy67 | Re: Re:, 09-19-04 7:40pm well, at the time you asked, only they'd seen it....
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WhitePony | Re: Re:, 09-19-04 8:46pm There's nothing to be embarassed about. You deserve praise worthy of a rock star for that performance |
cowboy67 | 09-19-04 8:55pm exactly! quite frankly, i think toto's dancing skills are almost as good as joe's heart-breakin' skills. |
WhitePony | Re:, 09-19-04 8:58pm I beg to differ, my heart-breaking skills don't even come close to that salt shakin' She should be on the next soul train, but not until she learns how to jump off a four foot high play structure
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cowboy67 | 09-19-04 9:10pm well... you do have a point there. toto puts the sugar in shake! er... yeah. she should be the spokesperson for steak & shake restaurants. she'd get to eat hamburgers and steak all day while shakin' it. sounds like just the right combination of food and hoo-hah to keep her satisfied. |
WhitePony | Re:, 09-19-04 9:17pm Well if Kali Mah had anything to with it, there'd be none of this steak and hoo-hah nonsense, only black blood and voodoo dolls |
cowboy67 | Re: Re:, 09-19-04 9:35pm wait a second... what is hoo-hah without black blood and voodoo dolls?! |
WhitePony | Re: Re: Re:, 09-19-04 9:38pm Normally they go hand in hand, but once the heart ripping and lava dipping begin, thats when things start turning Kali Mah-ish and I don't think Toto would be down for that |
cowboy67 | 09-19-04 9:46pm yeah, she's more of a waves-crashing-over-her-body and rolling-down-the-hill-with-her-lover kind of hoo-haher. you might try dipping her in confetti. |
WhitePony | Re:, 09-19-04 9:53pm Well why didn't you say so?! On our off season, the Temple of Doom becomes the Temple of Hoo......hah. Instead of death and curses and lava and doom, we have steaks and hamburgers and waves and hills |
cowboy67 | Re: Re:, 09-19-04 9:59pm oh kali, i just knew you had a heart (or 3, or 4... depending on the day and how well your heart extractions went) somewhere hidden beneath that sexy, burly, sweaty chest of yours! forget about that little tater tot from kuwait! take me to your temple of doom! *downs poisoned black blood* |
WhitePony | Re: Re: Re:, 09-19-04 10:14pm Actually we're approaching the off season, so that supposed black blood you just downed is grape Kool-Aid. As for the tater tot, she's mine! I'm a sucker for breaded nuggets of potato... stuff.. and thats the epitome of Toto |
cowboy67 | 09-19-04 10:20pm fine... i'm gonna go play doom doom revolution!
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WhitePony | Re:, 09-19-04 10:26pm You will never escape the funky sounds of the Kali Mah! Muahahaha! |
cowboy67 | 09-19-04 10:35pm *hundreds of escaped children appear and throw rocks at you*
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WhitePony | Re:, 09-19-04 10:44pm Well I've got a gaggle of crocs with your name written all over their teeth... oh wait, thats my name!! Shoot! new plan, new plan... hmmm... alright, well I'll get some Nazi's to force in a room full of asps and make you drink water from a false cup and kidnap your dad, and force you on a chase through the mines and open the ark on your ass after freezing you and selling you to Jabba.... |
cowboy67 | 09-19-04 10:58pm y'know, i've about had it up to here with your pansy-ass threats. let's see a little action here, mola ram! just remember, you betrayed shiva! you're gonna see kali in hell, bitch!
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WhitePony | Re:, 09-19-04 11:03pm You've just opened up a can of Shukti Dae! Kali is gonna burn your ass to high heaven Junior! And by the way, the dog's name was Indiana... BITCH! |
cowboy67 | Re: Re:, 09-19-04 11:59pm such big words from a little lion. |
moana | Re: Re:, 09-20-04 2:54am oh no.
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metalhead | Re:, 09-20-04 10:49am *enters dressed in skimpy gold bikini thing*
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cowboy67 | Re: Re:, 09-22-04 11:25pm oh how i love a protective woman. sexy! |
metalhead | 09-20-04 10:44am maybe he makes funny smacking noises when he eats
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moana | Re:, 09-21-04 5:43am don't make me rant on you, germaphobe! |