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| shiznit05 (profile) wrote, on 9-23-2004 at 5:09pm | |
| haha long time...long long time so fuck me. i hate it when i get so stubborn about something...my mind is completely set on it, i refuge to budge, and then someone says something that makes me completely second guess myself. im talking about the dance here. i was set on not going...i turned away a perfectly good date - thats how averse to going i was. then i was talking to someone about living up my last year of high school and not caring about things that wont matter in a few years...fuck me. im still not going, i have other plans for that night, plans im really excited about...but now i have this little voice in the back of my head wondering what all i'll be missing...the wonderful after party im going to be missing...the kodak moments i wont be there to catch and have my mom scrapbook...idk, it sucks, but at the same time, i know i'll have fun also...very frustrating so, anyway, it has been awhile since my last update...life's been busy, thats the main reason for the delay...im constantly going somewhere, painting something, calling someone, shopping for something, or running late to a meeting. school work has become less important, im horribly behind, eating? whats that?? i dont have time for lunch - well i take that back, i have time, but im too busy thinking about other things that by the time i think to go get food i have 3 minutes until the bell rings and theres just no time...im normally late getting to AP after lunch anyway. i get out of school after 6th...doesnt matter...i'm still there until like 4 everyday anyway, ive actually left a few days at 150 when im supposed to...i get home and im confused as to what im supposed to do. ive also fallen back into the routine of falling asleep when i get home...its never a good sleep though, i feel extremely groggy when i wake up and it would have been better had i never closed my eyes... im greatful for being busy though...i fear what would happen if i would be left with myself for too long...my parents are gone this weekend, and i plan on staying with mike at his place...if he'll have me that is. i dont know what it is, but the idea of being alone really creeps me out now...i dont trust me by myself...im horribly regressing lately, and i need, NEED, to figure out how to reverse it...fuck my mom won tickets to CP...only 2 though...i think she and my dad should go up, but that wont happen...i should steal them and go up with a friend...i need to find someone who loves rollercoasters as much as i do...hmm this next month needs to pass really quickly |
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sushininja | 09-28-04 9:53pm I hate rollercoasters, but I'll go...vomitrocious... |