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| suspensionrings (profile) wrote, on 10-17-2004 at 10:22am | |
| a white knight deserves a princess. a princess in a tower, a princess you have to kill a dragon for, a princess under a curse. hard to get, but worth it in the end. you don't get it, retard. you haven't seen things from my perspective. haven't felt this Filth in every vein in every pore in every breath. i don't want you ever to feel it. i am covered in shit and you are an angel of light to me, i want more than anything to be held in your arms but then you'd be covered in it too. understand? i corrupt. i make good things go bad. that's why i keep all of this to myself. nobody needs this. i don't need to drag anybody down. if i had the courage, the means, and a decent reason to . . . but you know what's holding me back? that fucking five percent. humans will do anything for the slightest chance that something good will happen. especially when there's no other options. just want to stare death in the face and bang. easy. over. out. people keep thinking i'm more than i am [dwelling on it dwelling on it rereading the] [&does that make ignorance bliss? is any of that true anymore? does it matter if it is? it may scar over but you'll still twitch when i move at you. still expect me to bite.] &strange but now i'm the one incapable of non-monogamy. i can't. won't. am incapable of dating other people. well. i don't date anyway. so that's out. but i'm very . . . uni-directional when it gets to this point. that's why i don't like falling in the first place. i know where it leads. i get too focused. too obsessed. way the fuck too obsessed. it's a question of morals. yes, amazingly enough, i have them. they're just skewed, is all. but . . . once i've made that oath. to myself, to nothing else, it's nothing but a decision but one i will not waver from. the cost may be as it is and if it takes another two years, three years, ten years to recover then so be it. an oath once said shall not be broken. that's part of her moral code. frightening. she's just as human as the rest of us. a monster, yes, but she's a knight too. she'll die for me, for children or those too weak to defend themselves, for certain ideals. she already did, once. there is one [1] [a new meaning to the name, ahhahaha] hole in my heart. it can be filled by 1 [one] person at a time. i gave up god for her. i gave up her for you. you can have it all my empire of dirt i will bring you down i will make you hurt maybe you and that stupid white-knight tendency . . . yeah, maybe you could bring me out of it. but at what cost to yourself? it's triage, my boy, some people just aren't worth it. limited resources. go save someone who can save you back. |
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cutlip | .maybe he talks sdrawkcab., 10-19-04 2:01am part of the game [ifitisthat] is to find someone who challenges you in every. aspect. of the word. [assofme]-uming that we're on the same page [&i read this as thoughtsoflove?]
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suspensionrings | Re: .maybe he talks sdrawkcab., 10-19-04 5:36pm same page, yes.
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