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| lisa3019 (profile) wrote, on 11-29-2004 at 2:38pm | |
| Current mood: sad, depressed, and lonely... Subject: |
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| Well, it's been a week since I last wrote.. but this is basically what has happened... We got out of school early on Wednesday, and I went to Cody's. I had to work at 5:00, so my mom picked me up and I went there. Wednesday night after work I talked on the phone to Cody and his mom for hours. Around 12:00, my mom called my (from upstairs on my cell phone) and told me that if I wake up in the middle of the night, to please see if Brandy was out there, because she wasn't coming home, my mom was tired, and wanted to go to bed. I told her that was gay and not to go to sleep until she let Brandy in, because it's cold out there, and she couldn't stay out there all night. She got all mad, but said she wouldn't go to sleep until Brandy came back. I talked on the phone with Cody and his mom for hours and hours, until like 3:30 in the morning.. Stacy had to wake up at liek 5:00am, so that sucks, I don't know how she did it. Thursday morning, Thanksgiving...I woke up to go pee, and walked up the steps, and with one leg over the dog gate to go into the living room, Shawn says, "Lisa.. did you hear?" Me-"Hear what??" (Shawn pauses) Pete-"Nothing. Me-"Hear.. what?" (Pete and Shawn exchange glances) Shawn-"You're not going to like this..." Pete-"No.. you're not going to like this at all..." (a bad feeling arose in the pit of my stomach) Me-"W-What is it? What happened?" (I knew what was coming.. but I forced myself to veer away from the thought) Shawn-"Brandy died.." (my heart fell to that pit of my stomach that was full of burning acid at that moment" Pete-"She ran out onto the highway last night...I'm sorry..." I just stood there with my face in my hands crying. I couldn't even describe how I felt. It was like all of my happiness just fell out with every tear and I couldn't even believe what I had just heard. It couldn't be true. It felt like a dream, and I just wanted to wake up. I sat in my kitchen and cried and cried. My aunt came over, crying, she loved Brandy too, and demanded to see her when Pete told her Brandy was in the back of the truck. We went outside to the truck and jammed open the tailgate that seemed impossible to get loose. Pete hollered from the window that we don't want to see her. But Aunt Mary demanded, sobbing and choking, to leave us alone. Frustrated, she hastily ripped and pulled at the knot in the strings of the black garbage bag that I knew held my faithful friend. I turned my back, crying hystarically and asking rhetorical questions to anyone that was listening. Shawn told us that we didn't want to see, and that one of her eyes were almost hanging out, but Aunt Mary yelled at him and told him to rip open the bag. He did as he was told, and cut open a small hole. There, in the opening, lay lifelessly, the small, cold, and wet paws of my wonderful, loving friend. Aunt Mary cried harder and held Brandy's paw. I forced myself to hold her too, immediately lost my breath and cried harder...as I said good-bye to the one who loved me for everything I was. The one that I gave all my heart to. I walked into the house crying that she was "cold and wet and needed a blanket." The rest of the day I layed in bed and cried until Pete woke me up and told me to come to my grandma's with the family. All the while we were eating Thanksgiving dinner, I had my mind on how much Brandy would love to hasve some of the left overs, and how much I missed her. After dinner, my mom took me over Cody's sister's house and me and Amber (Cody's sister), watched these prairie movies and I fell asleep. The next morning, Friday morning, Amber woke me up and told me to go upstairs with Cody and sleep in the bed (instead of sleeping on the chair that I was in). We woke up aroudn the afternoon, and sat around the house with Amber and the baby, and then Stacy picked us up, we got Cody an interview at Burger King on 51, and then we went to his grandma's house to eat. My mom was on her way to pick me up, so me and Cody stood waiting for her in the street, talking to a very, very high Toby. I cried myself to sleep that night, and then woke up to go to ork at 4 on Saturday. I cried all day at work, and it was miserable, and then after work I went to Cody's. We played Madden, and then went to sleep. on Sunday morning, Stacy woke us up to get ready for chuch, we left, and after church, we went back to his house and watched the game. I had work at 4, so my mom picked me up and took me there where I worked with Lils. After work I came home and talked to Cody and his mom for hours on the phone (again), and then Cody went to sleep, and me and Stacy talked until about 3:00am, and then we went to sleep. This morning.. I hooked up the internet, because something went wrong with the inetnert connection I had before, so I got a new one and I hate it, but oh well, it's the internet. This was something I had wrote one of the days my internet wasn't working... November 27, 2004 I miss my dog so much. Thanksgiving was two days ago, and it was the worst day of my life. I woke up to go to the bathroom, and when I walked up the stairs, Shawn stopped me in the kicthen and him and Pete informed me that Brandy was dead. I didn't even think I could eat for Thanksgiving, but I got my mind away from it enough to go to my grandma's. After that I went to Cody's sister's, and I even slept over there. When I came home the next day (yesterday), I walked up the stairs to my kitchen, with all my dogs there to greet me--except Brandy, who was always the happiest to see me. Yesterday was the first day in six or seven years that I came home and Brandy wasn't there waiting for me. Since I first saw Brandy, I knew she was my dog. I picked her out of the whole bunch I had to choose from, and as soon as I saw her, I didn't even bother looking at any of the other dogs. My Brandy, My B, My Beagle, my puppy... my best friend. The one who stood by me side, wagging her tail when I had noone else. She was always there for me, and I sure did spoil her. She slept.. and snored.. right by my side every night after we snacked and watched t.v. Last night I cried so hard. I couldn't even breathe. It doesn't even seem real. I can't believe that she's not here, and she won't be here ever again. I won't ever have her to hold, or to cry and complain to, or to play with.. ever again. Before Thanksgiving dinner, Aunt Mary came over, crying, and demanded to see her. We went to the back of the truck where her body was in a black garbage bag. Aunt Mary and Shawn opened the bag, and there was her paw. I reached out and held it. It was so cold and wet. My best friend in the whole word lay there, cold and wet in a plastic bag in the back of a truck. I couldn't even stand it. For someone who loved me through thick and thin, she deserved so much better than that. She's in heaven now, I know, but I will miss her forever. I could never replace her. We have so many memories together, I will always think of her every time I open the cookie jar to get a cookie, and she's not scurrying in to beg for whatever she can get, or when I walk down the steps to my bedroom each night, and she's not there to follow me down. I'll think of her right before I fall asleep, and she's not next to me, snoring in my ear, keeping me awake. I'll miss her when she's not there to call up onto my chest and share lovies. I know we can be together again...someday. *Rest In Peace~Brandy* I Love You It may sound silly to be so upset over a dog dying, but she was MY dog. The one II picked for ME to love, and I just expected her to be with me so much longer. I would have never done anything to hurt her, and all she ever did was show me love, especially in my lowest times. I hope I can feel better soon, and accept the fact that she's gone forever. |
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xxinterrupted | 11-29-04 3:39pm *hugs you so tight*
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| lisa3019 | Re:, 11-30-04 11:38am thanks jena.. love you.. p.s. i looked at all the pictures last night, gab is soooo cute!!! |