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| mudpiegrl (profile) wrote, on 12-16-2004 at 4:14pm | |
| Current mood: annoyed Music: the furnace Subject: frustation |
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| I'm in latin. i want to write this to jen, but i9 know it is something so futile to her that she won't care. She is enveloped in herself and mushroomness. Today, at lunch, we had a "family meeting". We discussed my needing to clean, tyler's unspecified grocery list, mum's patience, and the family's drinking habits. We were pretty objective through the most of it; it was a meeting to tell mum we are worried about her drinking. I began by saing how i dilike drinking so much and how it's embarressing that even my friends dont respect her through all her drunkenness. She says shell cut down. Who believes her but herself? Tyler proposed extracting all alcohol from the house. Dad offered an appointement with this counsler with whom he had to sort out his D.U.I. She denied it all and said she'd figure it out on her own. She said she needs a month to sx weeks. By 16 Januar, we will be rid of alcohol, if all goes accordingly. It wont through. But i think im the only on who kmnows that. Th other uncoverd issue of my pathetic exhistence is my fear of neil breaking up with me. i think he's sick of dealing with me... then again, in the bathroom i was just thinking how jen had me to care for her and now that something new has come in, she forgot about what i might need in return from her. and then thinking neil doesnt want me. its odd, because both my brother and my pasts were very independent, at least mine anyway. we dont know what its like to have soemone genuinely care about us and the things we do. So the slightest bit of not paying attention lands me in exactly the same spot i hate people when they're in. i've been talking to patrice which is good...i dont have to depend on neil, the kid who would rather talk to his floormates and play video games, or hope to talk to jen in the next week. not that patrice is a last resort. i try to leave people alone as much as i can. patrice hates being left out too and so id rather hang out with her than someone who is included and doesnt care to talk about depressing subjects, or rather, listen to me at all. i figure ill be in trouble for this one, too. but then i figure i'd rather than not say antyhign. i think ill just write in this from now on because its a hell of a lot easier than trying to incorporate emotion into a conversation. jen is no fair and i dont l,ike it. some best friend i guess... |
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toki | 12-16-04 11:17pm I hope it all goes through with your mom and such. And yeah, anytime you need another 15 minute car ride to caribou and then back realizing we dont want coffee...give me a call. |
mudpiegrl | Re:, 12-17-04 9:25am oh, dont worry. ill be calling on you for one of those just as soon as i can get a free second from work...
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