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bacardi (profile) wrote,
on 1-16-2005 at 1:57am
Current mood: Unexplainable hate and pain
Subject: What Did I Do To Deserve This?

As if things couldn't get any worse. Today I find out that kristi has called one of my best buds to hang out. He is the only guy I have that I can go hang out with and have a great time. All my other friends are fun but they are mostly all in relationships so they usually don't want to go anywhere, but he isn't so we can do tons of things. It turns out also that kristi has been hanging out with a girl that I still talk to, one that my group of friends introduced her too. I don't really care that she is hanging out with her, I just wish I would have known this a long time ago, so I would'nt be in contact with her.

I am trying to make sense of all this because why after breaking my heart then getting back with me just to treat me like dirt and then finally ending it does she feel she needs to be friends with a guy that I have been friends with since forever? I mean she has a ton of other friends and she doesn't need him, yet she still contacts him. Maybe after I am completely over her (which it appears she is completely over me) then she can exsist in my world but right now it can't happen without totally fucking up everything I thought I knew.

I really wish I could just move away from all this leave it behind me and start over. It's like I can't meet anyone that she doesn't already hangout with or has already been with. This year is starting out so great so far, death in the family, ex-girlfriend (of only 2 months) who I thought still cared enough about me to stay away while I try and recover, is now trying to fuck it up.

There are just so many feelings and emotions going through me right now that I can't even explain. I really hate her for this more than I even thought anyone could hate someone, and I really wish that we would have never happened because of what is going on now. Life is so fucked up right now in these aspects its hard to be happy in situations that shouldn't even be affected by this.

This also puts a severe damper on me ever wanting to be with another female, the things they are capable of are astounding. Everyone always says that guys are the assholes and they ruin girls lifes, but I see it both ways there are just as many girls that are backstabbing bitches that live just to make others hurt.

Please don't take offense to this... Unless you are guilty of such things but I really don't see my self trusting anyone ever again, except for the ones that I know I can trust (parents, brother, and a few cousins).

Peace.
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moana

01-16-05 2:40pm

girls are bitches. trust me, i know, i've dated them and i've been them.

the real difference between men and women is men are blatantly mean, they're mean to your face. women are sneaky mean, the kind of mean that blindsides you on some random anonymous thursday.

you can't escape us. we're beautiful. but once in a while, you needa girl to fight a girl. it's time to recruit.

(reply to this)

buttercup954

Re:, 01-16-05 3:28pm

*raises hand* i'd be glad to punch her

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moana

Re: Re:, 01-16-05 3:31pm

no no, that'd be a guy thing to do. in cases like these, you need to screw her over. if you wanna help, leave the planning to me. *steeples fingers* this project could be fun.

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buttercup954

Re: Re: Re:, 01-16-05 3:35pm

hahaha, i love how you're being a sneaky mean girl to get back at a sneaky mean girl for doing so.

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moana

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 01-16-05 3:41pm

fight fire with fire.

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bacardi

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 01-17-05 4:30am

I love how you girls came back so tough, thanks, but I really don't want to stoop to her level. She doesn't even deserve for me to waste my time on that kind of stuff.

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moana

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 01-17-05 7:24am

fine. can i stoop?

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kaneface

01-16-05 5:02pm

Fight fire with fire? Are you kidding me? Kevin you are too good for that, don't sink down to her level.

You have given me such good advice about the whole Adam thing and I know it's hard to listen to your own but i'll quote you, "Don't be discouraged it will eventually fade." She WILL eventually fade. One day when you least expect it something will happen to you, the strength, the wisdom and that feeling will come back and you will not worry about her.

As for other females "once you're broken you're never the same again," as long as you make sure your never the same, but only for bettering yourself that way it’s a positive thing. This hurt that you are feeling will somehow only make you a better person in the end.." Believe it or not you have something insdie of you that has all the answers to all of your questions and the words for guidence when you get lost. Just listen. :)

Good luck.
<3 Lauren


(reply to this)

bacardi

Re:, 01-17-05 4:29am

Yah I know they are out there, and I know I need to take some of my own medicine, but it is so much easier to give advice than it is to hear it. Thats why I never really expect anyone to really listen to what advice I have to say because they never do listen, and whenever I get advice I ususally never follow it either. But Thanks anyway at least I know there are some good girls out there. =)

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kaneface

Re: Re:, 01-17-05 9:54am

It is better to give than recieve... well, in some situations. And it's hard listening to your own advice, if we did then no one would have any problems---how boring. :)

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