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| Tails (profile) wrote, on 5-24-2005 at 6:15pm | |
| i dont know what to say about this. dad is just so fucking insane he is beyond stubborn he just dosent fucking listen at all. he just curses at me and hits things and screams "im still the adult and your the worthless fucking child". i cant even try reasoning with him. and fuck if logic shows up in the conversation someone fucked up. he yelled at me for my hair again today and i said "my hair is never in my eyes and it looked just fine during prom none of it was in my eyes and its not jetting out of the side of my head i dont look like a shaggy dog" i was stopped at about the end of the the first time i said eyes by "SHUT THE FUCK UP OK JUST SHUT THE HELL UP GOD DAMNIT YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE ITS ALL ABOUT YOU RIGHT YOU ARE ALWAYS FUCKING RIGHT ARENT YOU AS LONG AS MATTHEW IS HAPPY THE FUCKING WORLD IS GOOD" i just started crying cause i cant handle the insults anymore and he says "O GREAT NOW MY PUSSY FUCKING SON IS GOING TO START CRYING. CRY SOME MORE YOU FUCKING PUSSY GOD DAMNIT I CANT FUCKING BEILIVE YOU WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GOD FUCKING DAMNIT (punches wall)" i stopped crying by force cause my fucking chest hurt so much i couldnt cry for fear id stop breathing. i start to move and he throws 20 dollars in my face and screams "CUT YOUR FUCKING HAIR SO THAT YOU DONT EMBARESS ME AT GRADUATION LIKE YOU EMBARSSED ME AT EVERYOTHER SOCIAL EVENT." i said "why do i embarres you with how i choose to wear MY hair?" he says "CAUSE PEOPLE FUCKING LOOK AT YOUR DIRTY SCARGLY ASS AND SAY 'THATS RAYS SON GOD DAMN HES A BAD FUCKING FATHER HE CANT EVEN KEEP HIS KIDS CLEAN AND IN GOOD CLOTHES'" im like "wait when did this turn into my clothes" "THATS BESIDE THE FUCKING POINT YOU LITTLE BASTARD NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP" "im not dirty, i take a shower twice a day" "YEAH AND THATS ANOTHER REASON YOUR SO FUCKED UP YOU LITTLE BASTARD WASTE SOME MORE FUCKING SHIT YOU DONT PAY FOR" i put the money on the table and said. "im not getting my hair cut with your money cause it wont be good enough and youll yell at me all day tommrow just like you did today and yesterday and the day before" "SHUT THE FUCK UP JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE FUCK GOD DAMNIT SHUT THE FUCK UP (punches wall again)" "please stop cursing it scares me alot" "SHUT THE FUCK UP ILL CURSE ALL THE FUCK I WANT TO FUCKING CURSE IM THE ADULT YOUR THE FUCKING CHILD YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I FUCKING SAY AND FUCK YOU I CAN CURSE IF I WANT YOU PUSSY" i couldnt handle myself and this point and left the room "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE BEFORE I KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS. THATS WHAT YOU NEED IS TO GET YOUR FUCKING ASS BEAT" i turn around and said "do you hear what you say?" that was my biggest mistake right there. i mean i shouldnt have ever asked him if he hears that he calls me dirty and stupid and that his own son needs to get his ass beat? i know im not the only one who finds that really fucked up. "OOPPS SORRY I FORGOT THAT THE FUCKING WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU OF COURSE ILL SHUT THE FUCK UP NOW THAT YOUR HAPPY MATT GOOD THING YOUR FUCKING SET" i broke here finally and said "WHY DO I EMBARESS YOU? im almost an adult(got cut off here)" "YOUR NOT A FUCKING ADULT YOUR AN 17 YEAR OLD PRICK WHOSE LUCKY HE SURVIVED TO BE ALMOST 18" i wanted to say "i dont want your money for college anymore ill go live in a box and find a job i can walk to from my box until i can rent an apartment or buy a car to live in" i didnt say that though cause well i didnt want my face to look like the wall. i turned back and said "good thing we have to go to this senior thing so we can be all pissy towards eachother like we are every other night but at least tonight you can hate me in a puplic forum" "GOD DAMNIT YOU DONT LISTEN SHUT THE FUCK UP BOY GOD DAMNIT YOU MAKE ME SO FUCKING ANGRY I JUST CANT FUCKING STAND YOU JESUS FUCKING CHRIST" ok i just cant beilive whats going on here. i mean everyone thinks my dad is cool...do you see what just happend here? this happens at least 5 times a week. i really miss school cause it was another place outside of work i could go to be free of the words. god damnit i think id rather that he punch me in the face then talk to me the way he does. my chest hurts so much. i dont know if my heart can really hurt of it i just cant breath. god i have to go to this thing. *hugs self* please let me live. please. *cries* |
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wildthing | 05-24-05 8:48pm *Hugs* Matt I'm so sorry you have to go through that, I dont know what its like at all, I had tears in my eyes when I read that...You shouldnt have to go through that, Your awesome matt, your a great guy, He is missin out on a lot, and he just dont know it, He should be the one to be embarressed with all his cursing, and bullshit. He is an asshole matt, just dont listen to it. When do you turn 18?? You could just move out now i dont know where you could go but Matt that is BS that you go through that, I wish i could do something for you...I'm sorry Matt.*Hugs you for a long time*
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jordanmackenzie7 | 05-24-05 9:32pm Matt-
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darthavok | 05-24-05 10:32pm *hugs* |
jennapie | 05-24-05 10:48pm oh my goodness. I can't even imagine, I can't believe I thought I had it bad sometimes. and I thought my parents could say mean things. Your parents have nothing to be ashamed about. You are wonderful , and I know that we're not very close, but I'm praying for you, and things will turn around, college is coming!! |
cherylee | 05-24-05 10:53pm i love you. |
squish322 | 05-24-05 11:15pm i understand...my dad is also like that..he'll be nice around friends and make everyone think hes kewl but then he'll turn around and do that..*hugglez* i love you matt |
windedhero | wow.., 05-24-05 11:17pm shit dude, feel free to escape here if you'd like. |