:: 2007 6 March :: 9.28 am

I'm sick of hurting, so I'm done, I'm not going to think about it anymore, and I'm not going to deal with it. I feel like a freakin machine, just going through the motions of everyday life. But if I'm supposed to go back to normal, I'm already there. My life before is exactly how it is now. I go to school, and work, and home, and I occassionally hang out with my friends. Back to normal....

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2007 15 January :: 8.16 pm

yummm...strawberry yogurt shakes from steak n shake!!! I love my tanners! ahah!

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 12 December :: 11.45 am

hmm, I'm at school, and I'm pretty darn hungry, and I don't have class till 1:15, then work after that till 10:30, so I guess I better eat something. But what!? hmmm....

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 23 September :: 7.57 pm

boo
I'm in another bad mood. But it's not because of the weather this time. I have been disappointed more this week than ever before. and it's awful. I don't know how to get over this! i'm so frustrated and i can't content myself doing anything!

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:: 2006 22 September :: 4.12 pm

I'm having a very bad day, and I'm really sick of it. I wish it was over.

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 20 August :: 10.27 am

I'm coming home today!!!!

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 21 July :: 5.26 pm

I hate having bad days.

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:: 2006 16 July :: 3.48 pm

It will always amaze me how people and things move on so fast, and never look back, like they didn't truely care to begin with.

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:: 2006 16 June :: 11.46 pm

My best friend, and boyfriend Jake, is playing in the bar tonight, and tomorrow night, and for the next two weekends. You all should come out to see him!

I was there tonight, and he was doing absolutely amazing!! It sounded so good, and it looked to me like he was having a lot of fun. His uncle Doug was playing with him so that might have helped, and Josh got to play Freebird with him too. Which was pretty cool. I went out there after I got outta work tonight, and it's pretty awesome, but John, the owner asked if I was coming(or found out somehow or something), and since I'm Jake's girlfriend, he said that I could stay till 11 instead of 10:30, and if I could I would stay till he's done, but I can't so a half hour extra is awesome! But seriously, he did SO SO SOOO good, everyone should stop out and see him. I love you Jake.

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:: 2006 6 June :: 7.49 pm

Isn't it nice, that after so many bad things, you can always come back and find out who your true friends really are?

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:: 2006 18 May :: 10.32 pm

Oh man, what a frustrating night.

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:: 2006 14 May :: 12.42 pm

I am so incredibly lucky to have Jake in my life. He is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never gotten along or clicked with anyone the way that him and I do. He is the world to me, and I would be totally lost without him.

Sometimes life takes you where you never thought it would go, and I figure there's always a reason, and a better plan for you, so you just have to roll with it.

I don't know, I'm so happy with my life.

1 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 8 May :: 4.33 pm

Well, it's been awhile now since I've updated. Not a lot is going on, well actually a lot is but...ya know. Anyways, I finished my first year of college, now I'm working two jobs, at Awesome Tan still, and now I'm doing my third summer at Jenny's Grill and Chill. Jake and I are still as wonderful as ever, in fact, I stayed at his house all weekend, and we went to Cedar Point yesterday. It was opening weekend and there was nobody there, I rode everything, even Millenium Force, and if you know me at all, I don't ride roller coasters. But I DID IT!!! ahah! We didn't have to wait for more than like 15 minutes for anything, and by about 6:30, we could walk on to anything we wanted. It was perfect, we left yesterday about 5:30 am, got in the park about 10, and left Ohio about 10 that night, getting home around 1 am sometime, then I just stayed the night at his house again. It was SO much fun, the best date that I have had so far!!! Seriously, I cannot get enough of him. Now I'm at Awesome Tan, and have to be here till close tonight. But I don't mind. I'll be fine, I'm just kinda bored. Jake and I went this morning to my hair appointment, and I got my highlight and my lowlights re-done, then a trim. It looks good. But other than that....I don't know, I can't think right now. I'll have to type more later.

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:: 2006 30 April :: 12.19 pm

Well, it's my birthday, and what a lovely day it is too!! ahehehehe!!!

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:: 2006 24 April :: 5.48 pm

ok, so I found out the other day at the ice cream shop, that there was a mini rumor going around that I was engaged. So, I'm just clearing the air, and telling anyone who might have even wondered, that I'm not. Jake and I are still going stronger than ever, and he is just as amazing as ever. But, we've only been together for 3 months and although I love him to death, we arn't quite ready to take that step!! So, now the record is straight. Enjoy your day, cuz I'm enjoying mine!!!

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:: 2006 2 April :: 11.37 am

Today is 3 Months for Jake and I! and I couldn't be happier....still!!! He is theBEST thing that has ever happened to me. I never knew that it could be like this! I guess I'm luckier than I ever thought! I can't believe how much I love him!!!


I've never been the kind that you'd call lucky
Always stumbling' around in circles
But I must have stumbled into something
Look at me
Am I really alone with you
I wake up feeling like my life's worth living
Can't recall when I last felt that way
Guess it must be all this love you're giving
Never knew never knew it could be like this
But I guess

Some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky, lucky sometimes

Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me
You're the last thing my heart expected
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody
Someone who someone who makes me feel like this
Well I guess

Some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side, yes
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Ohhhhhh

Even hearts like mine
Get lucky, lucky sometimes

Even hearts like mine
Ohhhhhhhh

Some hearts,
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes

Some hearts
They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side, yes
Some hearts,
They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes

What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 31 March :: 6.55 pm

These are the people that I spend like ALL of my time with! Every single day! HAHA, only....I don't mind!

This is me and my guy whom I love!


This is my boss Sonya! We hang out and party!!!! HAHAHA!


And this is my buddy Laina, who I work with!! Whoo! We have so much fun!

1 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 28 March :: 7.10 pm

if you're having a bad or stressful day, don't ready this, it won't help.

well, I'm having a pretty bad week. Most of the time I can pin point my bad mood down to a specific event, but this time, I'm having trouble seeing anything that has happened that could have caused this. I guess it's probably just a lot of little things that nobody but me would care about. I don't know, I guess I'm just trying to live up to the standards that I have set for myself and I'm giving myself a really hard time because it's not working out. I'm having trouble in my math class, which, knowing me, is a given, but last semester I got an A, so this is sucking. Then, I got bad news about one of my history books, which, my teacher is a hard ass, so my grade is screwed there, and then my photography class was canceled today, which kind of made me happy cuz I wasn't feeling like going and developing, since it stinks, but then in math we had a quiz, which sucked, and oh gosh, what's my other class.........oh english, I just got done stressing out about a paper that was due yesterday, and now in my history class, I have a paper due, and I don't have the right book to do the paper, so that's gonna be like 40 bucks. That I don't have, and my car payment and cell phone bill are coming in the mail this week. And I don't know why, cuz Jake says it's just me, but me and my mom can honestly, not have a conversation with each other. No matter what, it turns into her lecturing me about money, or school, or work, and for goodness sake, just give me a freakin break, I'm doing the best I can. I don't know what else I can do. And another thing, Jake wants to help me so bad, and make me feel better, and he always wants to know what's wrong, and I honestly don't want to tell him, even though he only cares and wants to help, and I know that, but then I feel like I am bringing him down complaining about the same things over and over again. and I think it makes him feel bad that I won't tell him. Which makes me feel bad, knowing that I'm not telling him what he wants to know. ugh ok, This summer I'm working two jobs, and trying to have a life, and pay for college, and I can't get ahead since my car was fixed, and I don't know, things seriously suck right now, I'm having the hardest time being happy, and when I am, like when I'm with Jake, or when Laina's happy at work and it rubs off, it's always short lived, well, until I'm alone again, or I get home. What's the deal! Honestly! I need this all to stop. I'm getting run down. I want to give up, I'm seriously this () close to giving up, nothing bad like some of you might think, but just sitting home and not doing anything. Just being a bum, and not spending money, and like,giving up at life. I'm just not making it work right. I suck.

and ya know what else, I hate it when you think you have something really really great, and someone else comes along and tells you that it's not. I hate that. or makes it seem stupid, that's an even bigger pet peeve. Gosh darn it! I need to stop!

3 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 25 March :: 6.24 pm

I love Jake Mellema, and he is my shining star!!

3 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!

:: 2006 23 March :: 10.40 pm

ugh, honestly, how can people judge you when they don't even know you? It drives me crazy, I know I gossip and everyone else knows that they do too, but honestly! what the heck!! Is there really a point? It not only makes us look bad by showing how immature we really are, only focusing on what we see on the outside of people, but just think about some of the things that we say, and think if those things got back to the person you were talking about?! How bad would you feel? Unless you're heartless and you wouldn't feel bad, then whatever, you wouldn't care, but for all of those people who arn't Satan, wouldn't you feel terrible!? Especially if later you found out what an amazing person that you just put down was, or found something out about them that made you suddenly know why they are the way that they are, and what if it isn't their fault! Seriously! I feel like such crap right now, because someone judged me when they didn't know me, and honestly, it isn't a good feeling, I actually feel very bad and ashamed of myself. and I SHOULDN'T feel that way! But I do, and I don't even know this person and they don't know me, but anyway, I feel like a big let down and an embarassment. Well whatever, I guess I'll have to work on that, cuz I do feel bad and I want to change, so starting now, I'm done. AND, just like swearing, I'm not talking bad about people either, I'll keep my thoughts to myself, or block out the bad thoughts entirely, I can do it, just watch me!

ugh, oh my goodness, why do people have to be so immature! And talk about things that they don't understand! I don't get it! From now on, I'm going to live up to my full potential, and not waste my time doing idiotic things that have no point or meaning in my life what-so-ever! I am through with it all. If it makes me feel this way, someone with a relatively high self esteem, then just imagine what it must do to others. I honestly feel like crap, and kinda like puking. well, I'm going to go wallow in self-pity now. Everyone else, enjoy your night!

ugh again! why am I crying?!?!

2 Hit it! | What would you do oo ooo for a Klondike bar?!