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| namu (profile) wrote, on 6-24-2005 at 4:52pm | |
| She and I have been talking a lot lately. I know that it is very hard for her to look at or even attemtp change. The word change comes with a bad connotation because change can be for the bad or away from the norm. But here, the change is supposed to be for the better. I believe that she deserves a better way of living. She should be able to think about herself in a positive manner and that be that. She should also be able to hear what other people say about her and just accept it for a statement and nothing more. She has promised me to work on these flaws. I know now how hard of a promise that is to make and follow through with, but she has always succeeded in keeping her promises. I have also made promises in return to better myself for her as well. I have decided to work on getting along with Amelia's friends more and being happy around her no matter what the circumstance. Now I know how many think of change for somebody else is wrong and very bad and that makes me angry. I have the ability and power to change if I want and be comfortable with it. This apparently is a luxery that many do not have. I have the power to say something is just cause it is and have it be without any argument. Many do not see this as easy, like those who smoke can't just stop one day out of pure willpower, but I could. This is what exempts me from a lot of others because they have to work really hard to get anywhere or see any change. I wish it was just as easy for everyone else as it is for me. But that is why I am here. I am a guide who helps without wanting anything in return but acknowledgement. I also went shopping with my mom and my brother today which was boring. We went to the mall where my mother bought him all that he wanted because he can just "work" of the money. I mentioned that I was hungry and my mom told me that she didn't have any money for me to spend on eating so I would then have to use my own. She then proceeded on continously asking my brother if he wanted anything to eat and she would buy it for him. That kind of unfairness doesn't make me too happy. So, I bought myself some pizza and sat in the food court by myself eating my food. I have noticed that one of the sadest and loneliest things you can do is eat all by yourself. I tend to do it a lot and it makes me feel like nobody likes you enough to even sit down with you while you are eating to be with you and talk. It sucks. I also bought a Jet Li movie for only $20 dollars, when I thought it would cost $35. Ahhhh.... thats great. "I miss you so far, and the collision of your kiss that makes it so hard" |
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godessalthena | 06-24-05 10:16pm You should eat and come over. I miss you.
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namu | Re:, 06-24-05 10:17pm You want me to come over now? |
godessalthena | Re: Re:, 06-24-05 10:43pm Yes |
namu | Re: Re: Re:, 06-25-05 12:19am Sorry babe, my mom wouldn't let me. I will see you happily tomorrow! Love you with all of my beingness. |
lillypad | 06-25-05 9:54pm You're my favorite and it makes me so happy that you're such a wonderful guy.
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