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anachronism (profile) wrote,
on 7-20-2005 at 1:53pm
Subject: Save me.
I've called everyone I know or they know to try and find him.
I left three messages begging him to call me back, only to find the phone to be turned off when I tried again. I figured my annoyance would be enough of a bother for him to just fucking talk to me.
I'm sure he cheated on me.
I know he lied to me.
I have no idea where the fuck he stayed last night.
It's like he was waiting to be single so he could just go back to being a piece of shit low life.
I tried to save him, because his friends are too fucking selfish to support him being a better person. And realize that there is a time to grow up.
It's not that I dislike any of his friends personally. I do like them, I just wish they would help him be better.
I've found that I've never loved someone as much as this and that I didn't realize what I had until it was gone. And now it's gone forever and I'm going to spend months crying, trying to just not waste away to nothing.
I loved him.. so fucking much. And what do I get? I get cheated on, lied to, and betrayed.
After one stupid fight.

I want to die.

It's fucking insane how things change so much.
True love? Bullshit.
You're the one person I thought would never hurt me. Ever!

I can't do anything.
I tried to sleep, I just cried.
I tried to eat, I just got sick.
I try to occupy my time with this stupid fucking computer and t.v. but nothing helps. I wish my memory could just be erased and I could be ok again.
I had to leave work because I couldn't stop crying and I was too weak from not eating for two days.

I've never been so hurt in my life.
I can't believe you ruined me.

I'm a complete and total wreck.

Yours forever?
Forever must not be too long.

You ruiend everything. I didn't even get to expierence half of what a real relationship is. There was so much ahead of us that I was looking forward to.

Now what?!
What the fuck do I do!?!
Post A Comment

Tails

07-20-05 2:21pm

we still have eachother. you know all of us are still here. you know what to do, love. we will always have purity. in the past, its still there. we will find it again and again until we dont need it anymore. im beiliving that this is what im supposed to say to you on the phone someday. you posted what im supposed to call you with right? god i love you.

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liz

07-20-05 2:21pm

son of a bitch.

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egotrip

07-20-05 2:57pm

Boys fucking suck.
Okay, not all.
But this guy definitely does.

He isn't worth your tears. If he can't even get the balls to call you back, then he's a spineless punk who never deserved you in the first place.

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.j.e.s.s.

07-20-05 5:01pm

stacy if you'd like someone to talk to , you can talk to me. and if not, the best advice i can give you is to try to hang out with friends. try not to just be alone if you can help it because then it's all you can think about. feel better, i'll be praying for you.

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anachronism

Re:, 07-20-05 10:09pm

Thank you. :)

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jayzulla

07-20-05 8:04pm

"because his friends are too fucking selfish to support him being a better person"

fuck you stacy. you dont even know what iv fucking done for brad, you dont have a god damn inch to say anything about me.

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darthavok

Re:, 07-20-05 8:20pm

You dont have an inch to say anything about my sister, so fuck yourself, youre doing a pretty good job of that anyways.

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jayzulla

Re: Re:, 07-20-05 8:21pm

hey dustin, how about you shut your mouth and never open it again? i have an inch to defend myself you moron.

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darthavok

Re: Re: Re:, 07-20-05 8:24pm

Hey, Jay. How about you shut your mouth and never open it again? I have an inch to defend my sister you moron.

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anachronism

Re:, 07-20-05 10:08pm

Jay, I did not say this directly to you. I said it in general. None of that I said isn't true. I even said I had no problem with his friends personally. I just think if you're a good, real friend you should support your friend being a better person and not pressure them or make them feel guilty for not doing something.

If one of my friends quite drinking/smoking and I was I'd be proud of them, and help them be stronger. I wouldn't want to make them do something just because I do.

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jayzulla

Re: Re:, 07-23-05 1:50pm

when did i ever say i didnt support a choice brad was making? when? i dont think i even said anything like that. when have i pressured him? hmmm, never. actually, iv probley never made him feel guilty either.

just seems kind of controlling that he didnt quit on his own, and that you had to make him.

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squish322

07-20-05 8:27pm

ooo more drama..i dont think arguing is helping her any either

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anachronism

Re:, 07-21-05 7:41am

Exactly.

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Tails

07-23-05 8:05pm

Welcome to liars convention 05'

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jayzulla

Re:, 07-28-05 1:40am

and whos lying matt?

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