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| twitchy (profile) wrote, on 8-11-2005 at 10:58pm | |
| Subject: please don't read it, it's depressing and I shoudn't have written it |
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| why can't this be gone? I want this out of my life, I want it out of my head out of my head, out of my head it's just so firmly set, wound around my mind like some vile ivy and I don't want to feel this way like I don't control it, like this feeling's always inside my head and maybe if I cried it would leave, maybe that's why the tears are pounding against the back of my eyelids, but no no crying just the pounding and the whimpering and the fact that I feel this, it means I'm a failure fuel to the fire, just an inferno of loathing guilt, why? pain, why? can't I be happy? I guess not and I've let myself down, like I let everyone down and I'm weak and vile, and I can't tell myself that it's not ture and I don't have the will-power to keep it inside I don't want to be a burden to my friends and I want to feel happy, don't I deserve to be happy? the answer I hear and feel is no failure, weakness, letting everyone down, letting yourself down I can't I should be able to beat this, but I can't, I'm a lie why do I feel like shit? why can't I be happy? why can't I love a litte without the pain? why can't I deal with this myself? please disreguard this entry, I shouldn't have written it, I should delete it, I don't want anyone to have to think about it, but I won't delete it because it's hard to keep inside please disreguard this entry |
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shroudofrain | 08-12-05 9:25am If there is anything I can do... please tell me. |
twitchy | Re:, 08-13-05 1:44am I'm okay, don't worry about me, I'll be fine |