| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| Namu (profile) wrote, on 10-22-2005 at 12:59am | |
| Writing down my thoughts Confusion. Miss her. Jealousy. Boredom. Behind in school. Don't know what I want. Loneliness of not being loved eating at my heart. Food doesn't taste good. Excercise a lot. Want to play a sport. Need to eat meat. Feeling failure. Not wanting doubt. Wanting to trust. Wanting to have faith. Feeling guilty of everything. Need a hug. Need my snuggler. Want to be a little furnace again. Have to remember the good times. Pushing for future. Can't concentrate fully. Distractions. Tired. Hungry. Wanting to be something I'm not. I am strong. I am weak. My body is sore. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. A lot of what I say is wrong. Dreaming is good and bad. Winterfresh is my favorite. Shaving. Straight hair. Curly hair.Other girlfriends and wifes with their husbands. Grr. Bangs too long? Family at home. Real family. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Friends not getting along with eachother. Future. Marraige. True happines. Being loved. Holding her once more. Not having to ever let go. Share everything. blegh. Roomies. Not being able to smile. I haven't truly smiled for a long time. Band. Brushing teeth. Warmth. Hats. Flirting. Volleyball. Cold. El biale. Nobody really missing me. One. World falls apart. Heroic. Amazing. Cute. Adorable. Stupid fuckers. Journals. Yahoo. Advertising. Dirty clothes. Grape juice. Grape Jelly. Pictures. Questioning future. Don't wanna live until then. Apartments. Seattle. Priorities. True love. What DO I want? Staying up late. Naps. Black hoodie. Emoboy. Non-mormon. Computer. Blood. Guys don't care, girls do it the right way. Oatmeal and cereal. Television. Count of Monte Cristo. Feeling not wanted. iPod nano. Music. Punk. Rock. Emo. <3. Lol. My car driving well. Rides to school. Walking home alone. Clash of the religions. Deciding if I'm the one who is able to be above it all. Trapped. Spanish music. Spanish formalities.I am capable. I let myself down. Pressure. Open and honest. Feelings overcome me. Don't want to be here anymore. Need help reassuring who I am. She can't take all the blame. She shouldn't have to do it all. I shouldn't be ruining it. I need to love her. I miss her. I'm not complete. I need a hug. A tender loving one. The one where you can close you're eyes cause you feel safe. Six days. School. Tae Kwon Do. Yellow belt. Am I going to reach that level of great ability with the commitment I've put in? Do I need to do more? Need to work harder on classes. Want friends to be happy. Want to be able to make her happy again. Want to feel important, like I've done something right. Gah...so many things just running around in my head. A vacation is in order. I just want to lie down on my favorite person and sleep this universe away. No more. Please, just no more. 5 |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
godessalthena | 10-22-05 11:12am thank you hunny... i love you so much.
|