| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| namu (profile) wrote, on 11-4-2005 at 5:53pm | |
| Current mood: crushed |
|
| I feel like the biggest failure in the world. I did absolutely horrible in Tae Kwon Do today. I didn't do well at all. I think it was partly due to me not being to focused on it. It was a big off day. Sensei thought I was trying to prove myself by placing myself above everybody else, but I was really just fighting blindly. So, he tried to make an example out of me. He thought I was trying to kick him as hard as I could, so he did the same to me. I could feel his intention of anger glaring at me, and I had no idea why he was fighting so hard. We had a little discussion afterward where he said that he thought I was trying to prove something, but the truth is I wasn't. It was all a big misunderstanding. I feel so lost and confused. He helps everybody else training-wise, but never me and I was starting to get confused why. I thought I was to learn just by experience because he wasn't saying anything to help me, but he really only wants to help those who don't try their hardest. Those who hit light and medium. I didn't know that, and I haven't been trying to kick my hardest either. I've just been trying to do my best. If I knew that all along, things would have gone well tonight. But instead I feel like shit. I almost broke down in front of him, but maneged to keep it in. I couldn't afterwards though, and the salt in my tears are burning the freshly shaven skin on my face. Oh well, I guess I deserve it. I feel so hopeless. Looking at Jet Li and my life, I have utterly no chance.......... "I'm not down because I lost, but because I've failed myself" 4 days since I've seen the sun |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
godessalthena | 11-04-05 8:20pm .............. I don't want to hear this. You're so much better than this. Who are you and what did you do with my Jeremiah?
|
rorin | 11-04-05 10:45pm Tae Kwon Do isn't everything. At least you didn't fail a really important pre-calc quiz. :( [but that isn't everything, either] *pats you on the back* |
namu | Re:, 11-04-05 10:51pm No, you don't understand. Tae Kwon Do is martial arts, and martial arts is everything to me. That's why it hurts so bad. Oh, and sorry about your quiz. |
rorin | Re: Re:, 11-04-05 11:08pm Bah, I'm doing better now, compaired to when I took it. I actually DID my homework! |
namu | Re: Re: Re:, 11-04-05 11:15pm Hah! That always helps I think. |