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| sike-a-delic_grasshopper (profile) wrote, on 11-20-2005 at 4:44am | |
| Current mood: antsy |
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| I'm ready to pick up and leave. I like college and everything, but I don't know if it's what I should be doing. What I really want to do is just live in the woods, or on a commune, or travel around, or something equally outlandish. Because it seems like college is simply preparing me for a future I don't want. A future I never wanted and have been trying to avoid and put off. I guess what it comes down to is I'm sick and tired of being part of the mainstream. Because I certainly don't belong here. I mean, I knew eventually I'd get sick of it and drop out, but I thougt I had a few more years. I thought I'd get thru college at least. But here it is, almost 5 am, and I can't get to sleep cause I'm fuckin wired and wishing I was outside. It's what? like 30 degrees out? And I have the window open because I can't stand breathing stale air. You know what? I was never happier than I was last summer at camp. For all the bullshit I put up with, and the long days, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Because how many people get to be around horses all day and live in the woods? Even when I had to wake up at 5:30 in the morning I didn't mind all that much. I saw some amazing sunrises. God, I'm practically counting the days till I go back. But I just don't know how much more I can deal with. I'm sick of TV, the radio, cars, etc, etc.... I really just want to live on my own terms, is that so much to ask? I don't see how college is conduicive to that. There is a problem though. If perchance I drop out and go persue this grand scheme, and it doesn't work out, and I want to go back to school I am fucked. Because I'd have to pay for it myself. Which is probably why I'll stick it out. However I will be pissed if I spend all this time and money on getting a degree and then I never use it. Which I probably won't because to use most degrees you have to get a *shudder* real job. So...if you haven't noticed I really don't know where I'm going with this. It's quite possible this will all be irrelevant by tomorrow. Good night, or good morning if you prefer. |
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deloric | 11-20-05 2:28pm I say do it, but only because I dont have the guts to do it myeslf. |
angel_bob | 11-20-05 5:09pm I wondered how long Kelly Bond could last. Especially at a school like Central. |
1010101 | 11-21-05 12:24am Hmm, well, I'd suggest going to see your academic advisor (or whatever the heck you call those people at CMU), and have a chat with them about what kind of career you might want. If they can't suggest anything that you like, or point you in the direction of someone who can, maybe then you should consider dropping out, but for now, just hang in there. 'Tis always rather rough towards the end of each semester. |