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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 2-26-2006 at 8:20am | |
| Music: Jimmy Eat World - Hear You Me Subject: the angels have died. |
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| was i ever good enough...? honestly i don't think i was. i'm horrible and i need to be shot in all my life i have never wanted this more i don't want to be here i just want to forget about this i want to die i want to leave i don't want anything to do with this i wish there was a huge distraction for me that happened at all times i would never have to feel like this. i wouldn't feel like a toy a game i would feel like me happy, smart, pretty. not ugly, stupid and incredibly ridculous. last night a guy named dan hit on me and gave me his number after asking me to a movie. god i hate my life. 'my pictures of you...' your fucking toy, amelia |
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Namu | 02-26-06 12:27pm do you hate me? |
godessalthena | Re:, 02-26-06 1:22pm no
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Namu | Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:29pm Hmm, well what's going on then? I don't hate you, never could. I still love you like always. You're just sorta......well struggling is my assumption, and I'm being ommitted from you life now, even though I want nothing more but to help. Why are you so angry hun? |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:33pm because i'm done with being sad, depressed, and that, i'm moving onto the next step which is anger and frustration... wantingness to die and stab myself, rip my muscles apart... yes, i'm struggling, but i'm doing it by myself because that's how i do things...
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Namu | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:40pm I got it. I mean, if this is what you think you have to go through to move on, then I guess I'll try not to worry about it.
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:46pm what hurts is i suck and i know it. i'm not good enough for myself and you always deserved better than me... i've never been anything special and now that you're gone i feel like i'm missing the warmth and love from another human in my life... my heart hurts and i don't want to live anymore because i'm not worth anything to anyone in my everyday life anymore... though, i guess it isn't much different, since you weren't really in my everyday life either...
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Namu | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:53pm Hmm, well I don't think you suck babe. I never thought that, or that I deserved "better". I queried the idea, but I never agreed with it. I know, I feel all the same stuff. I dunno, I think it's easier on me cause I already had to go through most of this when you were trying to push me away. My heart actually physically hurt to a point where I didn't wanna live either. Yeah, it's not too much different cause I haven't always been able to be there, which fucking sucked. Your void I don't think was created though, cause you slowly but surely replaced me with work and school already. You shouldn't act all happy because you're "supposed" to be. Be who you wanna be. That's what I'm trying to give you.... |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:56pm don't give me that. i have a fucking void from you going away. nothing could take your place. yeah, they are important to me, but you were too.
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Namu | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 02-26-06 1:59pm ....k |