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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 3-17-2006 at 3:37pm | |
| Current mood: drained Music: Frou Frou - Hear Me Out Subject: i'm not myself |
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| we owe it all to love. i don't really think it exists, it never really has... all i hear is jusitfications and excuses... ignorance, irrationality... refusal to believe the ego is incorrect... because it's been inflated to the point of bursting. and my ego, it's pretty big... and my rationality has gone out the window... and my hate list has been reborn... but i don't try and justify it. i do it because i want to do it, because i'm the cause of it. and that's fine with me. i hate you, with all of myself because of the wretchness you brought to me and then you merely justify your actions all away, like it really doesn't matter and you don't want to look at it... how many times did you invalidate me? ignore me? push me down? i can't even count... but it was because you "loved" me that it was okay... because we were in "love" and that made every bad thing you did okay and every bad feeling you caused in me fine and everytime i wanted to die, i just didn't think about it because i was in "love" with someone who made my life worth living, even if my life to him was just like any other girl's life... bringing about my self-worth problem... since i'm not indirectly being called worthless, i feel strange and uncomfortable... this relationship is so different because there hasn't been any invalidations, no justifications, just happiness and excitement on the other half... and things that make me feel special, not him... and no clingieness, no painfully uncomfortable situations due to lack of detached bodies... so here's my hate list: jeremiah antonio henderson and that's all. 'i'm not falling for this one...' love, amelia p.s. my mom said that it's okay as long as the socks outside my room are gone, so you can come over, brookelynn. |
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lillypad | 03-17-06 7:06pm teehee, i'd like to see her send me away because you screwed up and didn't put the socks away. |
lillypad | Re:, 03-17-06 7:22pm p.s.
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xSwtLilAngel666x | 03-17-06 11:10pm Wow.
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godessalthena | Re:, 03-18-06 12:42am i never want things to get better between us. i wish it had never happened. |
yamiyugi | Re:, 03-18-06 5:05am *thwaps* Jess, you are a moron :P
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