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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 3-19-2006 at 7:28am | |
| Current mood: sick Music: shower music |
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| if i hadn't really been in love with you, would it still hurt this bad..? because it's almost unbearable... i believe it's the memories... the memory of happiness, whether it was real or not, was wonderful... and the things i do with him remind me of the things i did with you... and in spite of the doubt that it meant anything to you, it still meant a lot to me... which is why i feel like it's so hard for me to just forget about your horrible, wretched pathetic self... because without you i wasn't able to be myself, a person who i didn't want to be and still partly don't want to be... and you helped me attain that goal... by never allowing me to be good enough just by being me... so, maybe i am 'over you' but honestly, i'm not over you yet. i can't really be happy yet... without you here to tell me how to think, my brain doesn't think happy... so what? who cares? i didn't mean that much to you... because it's so easy to fall in love again... you already have and are madly, deeply, passionately in love... in a few days you'll be having sex and sleeping in the same bed... and then when she turns sixteen you'll force her parents to allow her to marry you and you'll have two children, prier and ajax, after your two-week honey moon. and you'll move to japan and raise those lovely children there... and ajax will always look after prier and love her like good big brothers... and you'll grow old together and have a house with secret passages and a hidden room in the basement and you'll me a martial arts movie star and she'll be in the movie where you fall from heaven and lose your wing and she and you will fall in love in the movie and you'll beat god just to be with her... and then when you get old enough to suit yourselves, you'll both committ harakiri and die together so you can be happy with eachother throughout eternity because you'll find eachother in the next life, like you did in a previous one... and everything else doesn't matter, because you love her, she is your first love, the first real one, and you can lie to her and tell her she's your first time and everything is magic and butterflies between the two of you... just like us, only without the lying... unless you lied to me about that too. . . . . . . . . . . . . . yesterday was okay. i was way too tired for my own good... the movie... i don't know how i felt about it... it was very gory. 'my loving life is so wonderful...' love, amelia p.s. why am i like this..? honestly, i'm so confused... |
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lillypad | 03-19-06 11:35am i think that dictionary you keep by your bed bed should have a definition that says:
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yamiyugi | Re:, 03-19-06 11:42am "male:(n) a creature, identified by the pronoun 'he', who is perpetually confused about all aspects of life, no matter how intelligent he is."
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lillypad | Re: Re:, 03-19-06 11:45am uh-oh, if everyone's confused about everything, how the hell do we survive?! |
godessalthena | Re:, 03-19-06 11:46am we saw the hills have eyes... and i didn't go with him to get the shoes, he did it after the movie. i'll tell you later today... we're supposedly hanging out around two... (i'm supposed to be doing my homework right now, but I don't feel like it, i'd rather hang out with zuzu)
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lillypad | Re: Re:, 03-19-06 11:47am are you with her now?
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 11:52am hells yes and HELLZ YEA.
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lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 11:53am why wouldn't they?
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 11:55am i dunno, because they have a weird thing about me, other houses and boys.
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lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:04pm to his HOUSE |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:05pm well, what do i say instead? |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:09pm pfft, sushi.com, the mall, DDR, another movie (that one always sucks cause then you're paranoid about whether they'll figure out that you don't actually now anything about the movie you saw), shopping for him, etc. |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:11pm they don't really offically know we're dating yet... |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:13pm ohh.sdufwhjsjdyghwe. how could they not? |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:15pm fucking a!
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:16pm i think maybe, we did, i don't know anymore. do you have that return and anwser or whatever?? |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:17pm call n return. no. can't find it available for download anywhere. |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:20pm oka |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:22pm tell alex duh head's my line.
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:23pm okay she says you're a loser and just jealous. |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:24pm yeah, well she's just calling me names cause she knows i'm right! |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:25pm "whatever."
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lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:26pm army penis.
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:27pm "that's totally my line so she loses." |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:30pm NO, it's both of ours!
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 12:31pm well you can't argue with that |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 03-19-06 2:07pm sweet. |