07-11-06 9:21am

i ADORE that song, but the orginal verison.

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07-11-06 10:12am

Like I told you, kill her.
By the way, tell me what night works the best for you, and I'll head over.

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Re:, 07-11-06 1:54pm

Any night is fine. You can come over right now if you'd like. Im thinking of going to Lori's around 5 ish.. You can join me.. Let me know..

By the way, my apartment number is 203

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07-12-06 1:17pm

I love that song, but the Dolly Parton version of it. Funny that the comments on your relationship mirror mine almost to a tee, except for the mom part because that's a bit different. But the rest... it's just kinda creepy :D


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Re:, 07-13-06 1:37am

I dislike Dolly Parton. I think its her voice, and the fact that she has such a small waist and HUGE boobs.. Doesnt make sense..

Today I just got so fed up with everything, that I just wanted to quit, like it was a day job or something.. Since I got laid off, I've been gaining weight because I've become lazy and all I do is eat and sleep. I'm like a newborn, except I don't throw up at any given moment. And he sometimes makes comments and he likes to call me pork chop. And today it just really got to me. So we started listing all the things that each other do that piss us off.. I mentioned a few things and the ONLY thing he said was "It pisses me off more than ANYTHING that when I am gone for 5 hours or more, you automatically assume that I'm with Courtney". I wanted to start balling because I felt so bad inside. And it made me feel like we're at a dead spot in our relationship where trust is becoming an issue, even though its not. And I don't know what to do anymore. Yet he turns around and he makes me laugh and we go back to having fun.. And then before he went to sleep we were laying there and he was playing with my hair, and he kissed my forehead and was like "I'm glad you're the one laying next to me..".. It's like he knows when Im ready to give up and he won't allow it. And I love him so fucking much that I dont think I could ever give up, no matter how upset I felt. Any advice? haha

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Re: Re:, 07-14-06 1:13am

Wow. That's... a lot of feelings. Okay, first off before I give advice let me just say that I'm not the best advice giver. That said, here's some advice. :D Definitely look for a job, even if it's just a shitty job that will get you by. It'll get you out of the apartment for awhile and put you in the world again. About the Courtney thing, I have issues with that kind of thing all the time and I feel guilty. And he's a not a dad. I was his first! And yet, it still makes me feel guilty when I get upset and assume he's hanging out with an ex. Or when the ex's call and I get all bitchy or all nosy like "what did SHE want?". That hurts him, but we're women and we like to protect what's ours, especially when it's our world that someone could take away from us. It's frightening. So don't feel too bad because most of that is insecure natural instinct. "Why would someone that great want to be with someone like me?" That kind of mentality that we can't help when it slips up sometimes. I think when he says that he's glad you're the one next to him he means it. You've said before you can see it, see that he loves you, see that he means what he says. And even though you feel like giving up, just look at him and remind yourself how incredibly lucky you are to have such a wonderful man and that you are truly blessed. Don't give him up unless he wants you to give him up. Easier said than done is to let something go if you truly love it, but only if it wants to go. Don't try throwing stones to chase it away if there's no reason to. Instead, love it while you have it. Enjoy it all while it's there because you never know when it'll be gone. If you're going to fall anyways (and falling from this would be falling hard and long) you might as well make it worth it and enjoy it as you fly.

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Re: Re: Re:, 07-14-06 9:07am

Courtney isn't one of his ex's. She's just a girl that thinks she owns him, and thinks she's in love with him. She's a bar whore. As she sits there and says that she loves him and whatnot, she's off screwing one, two and more than likely three other guys. And I've been told she used to work at the red barn. Mike has reassured me several times that she's not his type. But I just can't seem to get it through my head. I always feel like he'd rather be her. Then again, it hasn't mattered what guy I've been with, I've always felt like they'd rather be with someone else. More times than not, it's been true. But yeah.. I think I am just going to have to risk it, and finally tell him "I love you". I've never actually said it myself. It's always been "yeah so im in love with you.. deal with it" or something of the sort. Everytime i look at him, I get the biggest smile on my face. Even when I'm all pissed at the world, wanting to kill someone and want to be alone, he puts a smile on my face. It is sooooo hard for me to get mad at him. And even the few times I have been slightly mad at him, I couldn't be mad at him. It's weird. I hate fighting and so even if it's not my fault that we're arguing I find myself apologizing. I hate it when he's hurting. I can live without him, obviously I did it for 18 and a half years, but I can't picture life without him. I don't want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just hope he feels the same, and will always feel the same.

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Re: Re: Re: Re:, 07-14-06 1:30pm

Ahhh. I understand now. And I've felt the same way as you, that no matter what guy I've been with I always feel like they'd rather be with someone else. Dann and I have already told each other that we love each other so I don't know what to tell you there, but as far as spending the rest of our lives together, I want to, but he's not so sure. It's complicated but it's hard to love someone and know that you want forever with them when they don't know if they're willing to give forever to you.

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07-12-06 3:53pm

I compeletely understand what you're saying about the child but it's actually harder when they are younger because they can't just comunicate and tell each parents what happened and stuff... we have to.. so I guess if you don't mind being a three or four part family younger age is good. but if you just want to be the three of you.. the older the better..

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Re:, 07-13-06 1:29am

Im trying not to get too attached to her as well. I'm afraid that when I do, Mike is going to be like "hey we're over.." and that'll be it. And not only would i lose him, I'd lose her too. I'm not just trying to manage one relationship, its more like three. With him, with her, and with us. It's scary. I didn't think this is what I would be doing with my life right now, not that I had any plans or anything for after high school.. But its just weird to think about.. I think I may have it easier than you anyhow, and it wouldn't matter the age of the child, because her mom is nice, and Jessica seems to be an immature cunt. Yes, Cunt is my new favorite word. Don't ask. I say it ALL the time. My mind keeps changing from whether I want kids to absolutly dreading the thought. But I feel like it'd be a ton of stress on our relationship because he also has his daughter to think about and I feel like he'd treat our children different (in a bad way) than he'd treat his daughter, only because she was his first kid.. I think I just question things too much. What's sad is that she's 8 and eats almost as much as I do.

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Re: Re:, 07-14-06 10:15pm

Yeah she is a cunt... but I have to deal with her. Nice new word by the way. Anyways I know what you mean about the treat the other child different because it was his first and his little girl.. that's how it is with jared and morgan.. when she's in the room he ignores everyone else and when we have a child I tell him it won't be as special and it will be different but he doesn't believe me he says it will be even better because he'll have a child with someone he loves... anyways call me we can talk about it..

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Re: Re:, 07-14-06 10:15pm

Yeah she is a cunt... but I have to deal with her. Nice new word by the way. Anyways I know what you mean about the treat the other child different because it was his first and his little girl.. that's how it is with jared and morgan.. when she's in the room he ignores everyone else and when we have a child I tell him it won't be as special and it will be different but he doesn't believe me he says it will be even better because he'll have a child with someone he loves... anyways call me we can talk about it..

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Re: Re: Re:, 07-15-06 12:41am

Yeah, Mike does the same thing, if his daughter is here and awake, he pays little attention to me. I get jealous and I feel stupid because of it. Hopefully I will be able to out grow this jealousy and insecurity bull shit. It's sort of expected for a parent to treat any child after the first differently. As far as we know my brother and sister and I have the same father (well of course my brother and I do, we resemble my dad) but my mom still treats all of us different. She treats my sister better. Not that she really treats us poorly, she just makes bad decisions and she's a nut case. My dad on the other hand, spoils all of us. It's cute. If Jared treats your kids differently, I'll take his place and 'father' your children! haha ;)

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wait, 07-16-06 5:29am

The White stripes version is the ultimate version, love.

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