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| KinkyRose1212 (profile) wrote, on 7-24-2006 at 12:47am | |
| Current mood: depressed Music: Riding In Cars With Boys Subject: Love...or the lack thereof |
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| Fuck. I am so fucking depressed right now. One of my friends is cutting herself again, and I am getting kind of close. I'm not going to, because self-destruction is a very dark road that I don't think I'd like to travel again. But I am SO lonely. I'm wanting a kid again, but I can wait on that one. But I NEED some closeness. Even if it was just for a month. Of course, I'd like something longer, but I'd settle for a month. I'd settle for a night, shit. Of hot sex, and falling asleep cuddling. Or something. I keep having these dreams about being in love with and snuggling with a man who is a mixture of that Sully guy, Dante Hicks (from the " Clerks " movies), and a couple other people who I'm not naming on the public blog. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. And he wasn't fucking real. Shit. I feel like crying, but I can't. I feel like I have to be strong. I'm not sure why. I guess I just feel like I'm supposed to believe that it'll happen " some day. " Whatever. I'm starting to feel like I might as well just give up and live life like another mindless drone going about my business as if I have no emotions. It's so hard. | |
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kinkyrose1212 | 08-19-09 2:00am I did meet that guy! He was real! Now he's just dead, that's all! |