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| rayray (profile) wrote, on 12-17-2006 at 1:27am | |
| Just like to take the time to say, I made an ass out of myself. Or atleast I feel like a total ass. I called Justy tonight and I was completely hysterical. I was out driving around and I started to have what I thought was a panic attack. I guess I just need to stop pretending that everything is peachy keen. Especially when I'm feeling completely empty and numb inside. I have a problem. I'm depressed. And I think about how I am going to die. I don't think about killing myself. I just think of all the different kinds of acts of God that could accure and I'd be history. Is that the same as suicidal thoughts? Anyway, time to go to bed and try and get rid of the stress headache. |
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skife | 12-17-06 2:27pm call me anytime you need me kiddo. i'll talk to you, you didn't make a total ass of yourself. |
tails | 12-17-06 9:21pm those arent the same as suicidal thoughts...the killing yourself stuff however yeah thats a problem. but thinking about acts of "god" as you like to say. I like to say natural random events. because there is no god.but anyway. its just average human behavior to think about death at a constant rate. you should think about your friends dieing your family dieing and yourself dieing at least once in your life. its normal and nothing to think astray about. i mean who hasnt been like driving behind a truck carrying like a ton of metal beams and be like "wow that would suck if that came off the truck through the windshield and smashed through my chest dude" its normal. but anyway. get yourself checked out with a doctor of the mind. they are good people. and it sounds for the past two years like you really really need one of them around. love. too bad we dont talk anymore love. |
brianna | 12-18-06 11:00pm give me your number. we still need to get coffee. |
allyson | 12-19-06 7:20pm I always THINK i'm gong to die.. is that what you do too? Like.. this could be my last night here a car crash electrocution heart attack.. like that? |