| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| butterfly (profile) wrote, on 5-3-2008 at 10:22pm | |
| Current mood: depressed Music: 'Til Kingdom Come - Coldplay Subject: I miss him... |
|
| Holy fuck. I've been gone for approximately 37 years, which sucks, and I'm not really slowing down too much in the next week. Like, we had a garage sale this week, along with some huge projects to get done for school and mom was home all week so that just made it busier because she's like crazy. Anyway, this week I have the whole babysitting deal as previously mentioned, so I'll be gone like during the nights, but I should be home during the day and I can talk to Kelly while he's at work if he aint too busy. I honestly feel like a sack of shit for just like up and vanishing. Like... I don't know, I don't think he would be mad at me, but it probably bothers him. If we swapped roles and he had been really busy and never gotten on to talk to me, I would be seriously bummed out. I don't know though, maybe he's been really busy as well. I don't even know what his life has been like lately, which makes me feel worse. I just ... I don't know, I can't wait for this nonsense to be done with and he and I together permanently. Seriously, if I'm sad and depressed I just think of him and it usually makes me feel better, and I love that. I love just thinking of dumb little things we say to each other like him mouthing me about the Hooka Lounge chick. Or like the time he had this ridiculously huge sugar craving and we went to the grocery store and bought junk food. He bought me gummy worms and they were like old and tough so he gave me his Life Saver gummies... You just have to love a man who's willing to share his gummies. I just fucking love him. I love you, Kelly, and I hope you know how much I miss you, and how much it kills me when we don't get to talk. Mandie mentioned Michigan was her home... I want that. I want to be with Kelly and feel like I'm home. I need that. Hell, I deserve that, and so does Kelly. The more we see each other, the harder this becomes. I know we'll get through it, we've been through too much not too, but I'm more than ready for it to be over with. I need him for good; I need hugs when I'm feeling down, and kisses just because, and I need his arms around me as I sleep, and I know I'm being unforgivably sappy, but I don't even care. I'm pretty sure there's at least one person who understands what I'm going through, and that's all that matters. |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
pjlmaster | 05-04-08 8:12pm uhh, actually i understand perfectly, since ive been there myself...twice
|
duckie | 05-04-08 8:36pm <3. I've been there too girlie, and it is NOT easy. I actually give you many kudos for making this work.
|
butterfly | Re:, 05-05-08 11:51am <3 kudos and <3 you... thanks Slayer, for everything. I know it'll get better when I'm up there and for that I'm excited. I'm excited in general, you and pJ are great.
|
duckie | Re: Re:, 05-05-08 12:22pm You never have to thank me for being me =] It's what I do, and it's what friends are for. |