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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 5-24-2008 at 4:41pm | |
| Current mood: bored Music: random stuff Subject: nothing is right |
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| i dyed my hair today. i smell pretty. i think my parents will hate me when i visit. because i'll have more body art. and i really feel like it will alienate me more. but i like it and i don't want to not get it just because of my family. do you ever feel like everything you say is completely trivial. why the hell am i even talking about anything? i'm having one of those days. my days off are pointless. i don't do anything and it's so boring here. it's beautiful outside, but i don't want to go out alone. what's the point of adventuring if you have no one to go with you? i miss having friends. i miss having people to hang out with and talk to and feel and want to touch. people here... they make me happy that people don't like touching me. i don't really want them to touch me. maybe i'm sick. idk, but the people here aren't people. they are... something else... adults. but really crappy adults. they have all the crappy qualities of adults and teenagers mixed together. i think i'm very harsh with the people here. but i can't trust them and i certainly don't want to give any part of my heart to them. i know what they do with hearts like mine. except... my heart is fuckered up now. and i'm so cold and mean. i push everyone away. i don't get it. i'm so alone and desperate for friendship, but i push everyone away because they aren't what i want. what do i want..? not these people. not the people at work. i had a dream about jason the other night. he txted me telling me he missed me. hahaha i'm so fucked up. i've started talking in my sleep on a much more regular basis now. i have no idea why. i can't even remember what i would have been saying. oh well. what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. sigh. |
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rorin | What doesn't kill you..., 05-26-08 1:01pm It makes you colder and less full of wonderment as well...
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godessalthena | Re: What doesn't kill you..., 05-27-08 10:43am ily lauren |
yamiyugi | 05-28-08 5:08pm ily ♥ |