07-23-08 5:21am

you have to put yourself out there once or twice and actually NOT have your shit smashed all to hell when you do

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07-23-08 9:07am

i had serious trust issues due to my childhood being shattered into pieces, and its taken a LONG time to get to where i am now, and im still working on my trust issues. i was a pretty jaded individual when pj and i first started talking, and trusting him fully was a decision that i just had to make, and its something that i continually work on. it helps that hes extremely easy to talk to and non judgmental.

i still find myself holding my breath and not letting him in because im scared of being hurt or im afraid of what he'll say, but then i think of all the stuff ive talked to him about before and how much he already knows, and thats when that breath slowly starts to come out. its not a "quick fix" and it takes work. a lot of work. just realize what you do when youre feeling vulnerable, make sure your new girl KNOWS that you have some trust issues [i would wait and do this once you two at least become friends], and go from there. shes either going to not give a fuck, or shes going to be supportive. you should be able to tell early on.

it also helps being with someone that you know you have a ton of chemistry with, because then its going to be hard for you to keep things back if shes good at reading you. trust me, i try. i try almost every day and it doesnt work lol. but like pj said, you HAVE to put yourself out there when you think youve found a keeper. its just a decision you need to make, and itll be hard, but i dont think it will be as hard as you think. the decision to up and leave all my friends and family in wisconsin for michigan came so naturally that it still shocks me.

sorry this got really long haha. i just know how you feel, and its not something i would wish on anyone.

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07-23-08 9:27am

^ what those guys said
find a girl who you are pretty sure isnt going to screw you over anytime soon.. and is willing to work with you while you figure this out. one who put up with your crap 3 times for example ;P
and start off slow and let the relationship and your trust in her grow.
like i told you, its just a chance you have to take..

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Re:, 07-26-08 9:43pm

This may piss of some off the girls in here, and im sorry if it does but this needs to be said. Finding a girl who wont screw you over these days is slim to none. Unfortunantly the way our generation was raised really screwed many of us over for the future. Most People our age, Men and women, Are a bunch of sheep and they do what others tell them to, most of you will deny it, but everyone subconsiosly jumps on the band wagon.. it makes me sick how many people are willing to vote for someone because a hollywood idle said so.. instead of forming their own opinion based on facts they found themselves.. they believe what people tell them Seriously.. just because Kanye fucking west says that george bush hates black people.. does that make it true?? Thats like Micheal Jackson saying His Jesus Juice Cures Cancer.

If you read todays books and magazines, expecially the ones focused towards teenage girls, like cosmo for example, justin knows what im talking about here, they teach girls how to "train their men" and other things of the sort, unfortunantly the mindset of our generation, is very corrupt and ignorant.

This isnt like the leave it to beaver days anymore.. women no longer respect theirs husbands, they no longer respect themselves, They Want equal rights and pay but cry when they have to do as much work as the men they work with. In all reality there is no equality in this world, their will always be things that women are better suited for and things men are better suited for..

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Re: Re:, 07-26-08 11:10pm

I think mainly what im trying to say is.. when you find the right person it will just happen, but if spend too much time seeking that person out, in the end your going to have a laundry list of relationships that failed, i think patience is the key, after bonnie i realised that i didnt need to be in a hurry to find someone to settle down with, when "I am ready" and the time comes it will happen, untill then i am just enjoying my life and concentrating on what I need to do to get where i want to go, and i think thats the most important thing to worry about, Im not saying you should be selfish and just lookout for number 1 or anything, but take the freedom and time you have and invest it into what you already have and make it into something, and if you meet that person along the way then great!

And to Address my Generalization about Broads, I do firmly believe that most women these days dont really have it all together, fortunantly we have a great group of friends even tho sometimes we screw up we tend to stick together. There are some great gals out there.. The sea may be full of fish, but not all of them are keepers, some of them still need some time to grow, just these days, the growth rate for alot of us tends to be a bit longer than it used to be..

Anyone who knows my dad well knows that all of the women he has crossed paths with lately have all failed miserable, some of that is due to his poor choice in women and lack of patience, but its not just him, Its everywhere, our culture has taken a terrible turn for the worse, and i just hope we realise it before its too late.

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07-23-08 9:43am

I used to be the same way after my ex and I broke up. He cheated on me and I just found out all of this terrible stuff that he did while we were together it made me cold and bitter as well. I started going through a bad time where I'd party alot and didn't really about anything. But I knew I wouldn't get my heartbroken because I wouldn't let anyone in. I think it just takes that one special person to change you. You'll sind someone someday that will just make something in your mind click and you will change with no effort. Heartbreak is the worst and I think it really just takes one person to break you but it also takes just one person to put you back together.

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Re:, 07-23-08 9:46am

Geeze there are quite a few errors in there! lol! I think I actually just didn't put a word in at one point either! Man I just at advice because you cant understand me...
Just ask if you dont get it I guess...lol...

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07-23-08 2:50pm

You will find someone i know it.... i have been there. Having your heart broken is one of the hardest things to deal with but trust me Beaver, your a wonderful guy and you WILL find someone who will love you and take care of you just like you deserve, and trust is something you will gain back, just let it take the time it needs.

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